to think DH is wrong and parenting has changed a bit in 20 years?

[HPonEverything]

Long story short this is my first DC, but my DH has two 20ish year old DDs from a previous marriage. He tells me that he did 'everything' when they were babies and so he knows everything already and doesn't need to do any preparation.

My view is that so much has changed in 20 years and advice is very different now - there's all the cot death and car seat safety stuff, advice about feeding is different, and even nappies have changed in that time surely?

It feels like he's being really blase about it all because he's been there done that, and I'm actually pretty concerned that he might do something that was advisable 20-years-ago but is now a big no no.

He's an exceptionally busy man and I can't get him to sit still long enough to read anything, but I don't think he would take any notice anyway as it seems like he's being pretty cocky about already knowing it all. By contrast I'm a real sponge and read everything I can find, but I worry that when it comes to actually putting it into practice it will be a real battle to get him to listen to me that what I am saying is actually the correct advice.

Any advice or shall I just chill out?

I think it's going to work out well, he will balance your neurosis and you will laugh when he's forgotten something and gets peed on. If you are a real sponge for information, that can be hazardous to your health too.

'"it will be a real battle to get him to listen to me that what I am saying is actually the correct advice"
Well, it might be, but who knows what new, new shiny advice will be out by the time you give birth?
My first baby is now 20+
She was in our room until 6 months, didn't begin weaning until then either, did BLW without knowing the new name for it, had car seat and grow bags...
I read a little and listened to more experienced parents and made my own decisions. Of course, this was pre-internet and pre-google too.
Just try and calm down a bit.

My DH has several grown up kids ranging from 22 to 36. Parenting has changed in that some advice is now more official, such as keeping a baby in your own room for at least 6 months. You may find that once baby arrives your DH does see this and will probably have a different parenting style because he is now a different person. My OH was working too much to be around when his eldest were growing up.

My DH wasn't too sure about cosleeping/sharing a room, but once we started he loved it and now says he would be happy cosleeping until DD is 5. Back to sleep is another new one, and DH did not know about the 'foot to foot' information either. BLW was a complete newbie to him, as was rear facing car seats being safer.

so when its all changed again in the next 20 years (probably back to what it was 20 years ago) - will you chuck everything you know works in the bin, and say oooh i must follow the new advice?

just chill out. Looking after a baby isnt hard - look at the idiots that manage it somehow and baby turns out fine

Leave your favourite baby book next to the loo, remove all other reading material.

Job done.

Heck, the basics haven't changed in the last 20,000 years, never mind 20, and the UK in the early 21st century is not the most hazardous baby environment.

Throw the books away, babies never read them :o - and all the advice is fashion driven anyway, your baby will let you know what it wants. Having some people around you who have been through it before is the best support you can have.

No - the basics haven't changed, but if your DH tries to give your 3 month old a peanut butter and honey sandwich whilst driving with him/her on their lap, letting his fag ash drop all him/her with your unmuzzled staffie licking its face, then feel free to have a quiet word in his ear!

Good luck with everything.

I've got a 5 year old and a 25 year old. The only thing that has changed is Cot death advice re sleeping on backs and overheating and advice is to now wean later. Everything thing else is give and take. We even had car seats 20 years ago, granted they were not compulsory and so many more parents didnt bother.