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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to not want my mil to swear in front of my 6 month old ds

17 replies

ehedydd · 10/08/2011 08:56

she bounces him on her knee screeches and cackles in his face and is fing this to him and fing that! It does my nut in....how do I tell her it's inappropriate, I don't like it and he might be only 6 months old but he is absorbing EVERYTHING and I don't want his first word to be fuck!! Oh and she's not the most approchable of people!

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 10/08/2011 08:57

"Please don't swear in front of DS"

And if she continues, take him off her and say "I have asked you not to swear in front of DS"

If she does it again, leave.

squeakytoy · 10/08/2011 08:58

Just say to her "oi, stop swearing.. I dont want his first word to be fuck".. it really is as simple as that.

ZillionChocolate · 10/08/2011 09:02

Tell her! Swearing in front of children should be non-negotiable.

itisnearlysummer · 10/08/2011 09:08

We have the same issue with my MIL.

Unfortunately, she doesn't agree that bloody, bleeding, crap, shit and bugger are swear words! - or even particularly inappropriate. However, she won't have anyone say fuck in front of them

She thinks DH and I are "a bit uptight".

BILs children all swear and they think it's funny.

DH fell far from the tree in his family

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 10/08/2011 09:09

Just tell her to stop ficking swearing!

Original poster

ehedydd · 10/08/2011 09:11

I've done the subtle hint dropping but she's so thick skinned she doesn't get it, plus she knows it winds me up so I think that's part of why she does it! Time for me to grow some balls then!

OP posts:

itisnearlysummer · 10/08/2011 09:14

Oh yes, my MIL delights in doing things that she knows go against our wishes for her own amusement.

But then she is still asking when the DCs will be allowed to stop the night/spend the day with them alone....

As I say to the children, "that is entirely in your control. you have all the power. You know what you need to do."

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 10/08/2011 09:16

Then Flisspaps advice is best. Tell her straight. If she doesn't stop then just leave. Do this every time you visit her. If she's at your house then ask her to leave. You don't have to get shouty just to the point.

Think of it as training a really dumb dog.

AngelsOnHigh · 10/08/2011 09:28

Never mind swearing in front of ds, what about not swearing in front of you.

When I used to work in the corporate world we had a girl working with us who would swear almost all day.

After asking her not to with no response from her, I reported her to the GM.

My reason being that when I went to the football and everyone around me was swearing I had to accept it. I choose to go to the football knowing that the language around was going to be pretty colourful.

I would not and did not accept it in my workplace.

You need to tell your MIL the same thing.

Nefret · 10/08/2011 09:59

Why do people swear at children, it is so childish and uneccassary? I have heard people do it before and it makes me cringe.

I would have to say something.

What does your husband say bout it?

fargate · 10/08/2011 10:08

Just tell her. And tell her soon.

You've probably only got about 3 months before you'll be hearing proto-fuck speech sounds from your baby

Original poster

ehedydd · 10/08/2011 10:44

DP does comment sometimes but I think he's so used to it with them it just seems normal but it's not acceptable to me! Right the next time she does it I'm going to say.......'Please don't swear when you're talking to ds I don't want him swearing when he'll be starting to talk soon' or something to that effect!

OP posts:

GhoulLasher · 10/08/2011 10:45

Whip him away every time she does it and say "No swearing please" in a sing song voice.

maighdlin · 10/08/2011 12:02

watch your fucking language there a god damn baby in the room.

BustySinclair · 10/08/2011 12:04

i dont allow any swearing in my house

never have, never will

begonyabampot · 10/08/2011 12:10

Don't allow it though it is hard when it's your husbands family and they are all more relaxed about it. You probably will be seen as the stuck up shit stirrer. I have to remind some of my family not to say Paki and Chinky sometimes when I visit - they think I'm a stuck up shit stirrer too, probably.

All this MIL stuff really makes me appreciate the one i ended up with!

Original poster

ehedydd · 10/08/2011 17:08

They think I'm stuck up anyway because I try to distance myself from their behaviour...imagine shameless x50, every other word is fuck, cunt, bastard or bitch, I like a laugh and a good time as much as anyone but I draw the line with swearing, racism and just generally unacceptable behaviour when it comes to children! I'll be seen as a shit stirrer too when I kindly tell her to zip it!

OP posts:

Flip