Ok, so some background. DH and I are friends with two couples, we'll call them Ann & Bob and Cath & Dave. Dh went to school with all four of them (I am the interloper in our group!), he shares a hobby with Bob and Dave. Dave was both Dh's and Bob's best man, Bob was Dave's best man, you get the picture.
Ann and Bob have form for being a bit antisocial, rarely accepting event invitations, although Ann loves to host her own gatherings and gets miffed when people can't come even if it's short notice. They also don't particularly like children - fair enough. They wanted a child-free wedding. I intended to breastfeed DS and they said they would make an exception for him even though I was very clear that I was happy to stay away with him and that it was their choice etc. As it was, we ended up FF and I left DS with a babysitter to give them the childfree wedding they wanted. All of this was with no hostility, I had no problem leaving him. We have occasionally taken DS to gatherings at their place when we've had trouble getting a sitter but we have always, always asked first and made it clear that they were well within their rights to say no and that I would stay at home. On these occasions we have not stayed long. They have not acknowledged DD's existence since she was born 5 months ago, nor Cath and Dave's DD who is now 3 months. Dave was rather hurt by this as is it his first child and Bob is his oldest friend.
A few weeks ago it was Dave's birthday and they went to his party. Ann's birthday was two weeks later and they said they were planning a weekend in London. DH mentioned to me recently that he still has not seen Ann or Bob and hasn't been able to get a present to her. NB we are all turning 30 hence lots of big do's this year!
I had lunch with Cath today and she said that another mutual friend had told her Ann in fact did had a birthday party. Cath was very suprised and the mutual friend was horribly embarrassed and said he didn't know we were in the dark, he had assumed we were invited and didn't come. Cath then asked another friend X who said she had asked after us at the party and been told by Bob that he 'hadn't bothered to invite people with children'. I mean, WTF? DH and I have no problem leaving our children at home. Cath and Dave are equally happy to leave their DD with a grandparent and did this at Dave's party so Ann and Bob would have known this. I have no problem with them wanting a childfree party but to not invite two of his oldest, closest friends simply because they have children is just really mean and fucking rude in my book. Apparently several people mentioned our absence and X said she had told him she thought he was being very rude. I should point out that neither DH nor Dave are in the habit of rabbiting on about their kids and again Bob is aware of this. The invites also stated 'no children' so it's not like they were avoiding saying that by simply not inviting those who are parents.
I'm now in the position of having to tell DH about this. I can't not tell him and Ann and Bob must have known that it would get back to us as we have so many friends in common. DH is going to be gutted that this is how much his supposed best friend thinks of him. It appears they no longer want anything to do with us or Cath and Dave.
So anyway. I know I'm not really being unreasonable but am I wrong to think this is a deal breaker and it's time to give up on this friendship?