To say 'no' to dd (12) - wants to dye her hair.

[spudulika]

she went out and purchased a plum colour dye - permanent. Insisting she should use it on her dark brown hair. I've said 'no'. She's only just turned 12 and I don't want her to damage her hair or do anything which makes her look older than she is.

She furious and has started a full on campaign to wear me down. 20 minutes of aggressive pleading yesterday and she's started on it again this morning.

Am starting to lose my sense of what's sensible and what's not for girls of her age.

There's no way a plain colour on brown hair will ruin her hair or even be seen very much. As someone with brown hair I know that most of those supermarket dyes of those sorts of colours (plums, reds etc) are a whole load of effort for hardly any change in colour. Let her do it (semi-permanent at least) and she'll find that out for herself!

Why not a rinse that will wash out?

I made my two wait until 14, even for wash in ones. If she's nagging and moaning, I'd say that was a good enough reason to just chuck it in the bin tbh but I have ZERO patience for whining!

Once 14, I'd let them do any colour they want though, providing school allow it - because by then I think it's important that they experiment. 12 is too young for hair dye/make up imho.

ooh yeah, what northerngirl said, I had these when I was 19, they are really cool, I had pink streaks in my hair! Over the summer holiday they would be fab! They glue in and last 6 weeks.

I let my daughter get bright red flashes in her hair since she was 10, but I wouldnt dream of doing it at home, Ive always taken her to get it done properly. I get that its a bit different from an all over dye job too (Id love not to have to have mine done to cover the grey) but its not a huge issue I would say, although you do need to decide where your own boundaries are.

BTW I am very dark brown naturally and my mum used to let me put semi permanent colours on from quite young, they made absolutely no difference to the colour of my hair but it kept me happy!

I started using Henna at that age - nice and natural, and fades out rather than leave roots. I didn't start using permanent dyes until I was around 15 and in my scary goth years

I agree with picking your battles. She's at that age where she is trying to wrest control of her life. I would say be a little more relaxed about things that won't be permanent and won't do harm.

I dyed my hair plum when I was 12 and I looked like an idiot. It won't last.

Let her start with some of the those wash-out sachets - Toners and Shaders they were called in my day.

Insist that if any part of the bathroom is stained, or any towels irretrievably purpled, that she is clearly not safe to use anything more permanent.

if her hair is quite dark nothing will show up at all

I started on ones that gave a good colour but only lasted 8 or so washes. Less than semis and they don't damage hair.

But I think your point about her looking older is the main one. Girls grow up so fast. YANBU on those grounds.

I coloured mine from about 14 and stopped when I was 30 when I realised time wld come I'd do it to cover grey. Now 43 and still holding out - yee ha!