DD is currently staying (in a different country) with my parents. We are hugely grateful for this - DC2 is due at any moment, and we don't have close friends/family here to be on call when I go into labour. Rather than my parents coming over and staying for weeks, they offered to take her back to my home country for a couple of weeks until the baby arrives.
DD is having a ball. She adores my parents, knows their house nearly as well as our own and is extremely close to my parents. I have absolutely no (rational) concerns about her being there.
Last night I got a text from my mother saying that they had arranged for her to have a sleepover this evening at my cousin's house (cousin has 3 young DC, one slightly older than DD, one the same age and a baby). I love my cousin, I've no (real) concerns about her parenting - although with 3 under 6, her house is a little more chaotic than DD would be used to. But I really don't want DD going for a sleepover there. I don't want her staying anywhere other than my parents house - I'm finding it very hard not having her around at the moment, and it's only that she's with my parents that I'm ok with it. (I am also terrified of the trampoline/seesaw/swings at cousin's house as DD isn't used to playing on them and has no sense of danger at all... but I accept that's completely irrational and more because I know if something terrible happened and DD was in hospital, at this stage of my pregnancy I wouldn't be able to just jump on the plane to be with her)
So, I told my parents that I wasn't happy with the idea of a sleepover. Dad got quite grumpy with me, said that cousin was family, and it was different (I'd vetoed a sleepover with friends earlier in the week). I maintain that DD is 4 and it's far too young to be having sleepovers anywhere other than my parents house. I ended up hanging up the phone in floods of tears. Eventually spoke to my Mum who seemed to understand a bit better (although the dynamic in my family is that Mum is the one who makes arrangements/suggestions - so the sleepover would have been her idea) and has cancelled the sleepover... while making pointed remarks that DD will be devestated.
I didn't sleep last night and was very upset most of the night (but I will allow that it was probably a late pregnancy over-reaction to be quite so upset about the whole thing.
AIBU in thinking that a) 4 is too young to have a sleepover in a house you've only been to 5 or 6 times - or, really, at all (b) they shouldn't have said anything to DD until we'd agreed to it, (c) my Dad shouldn't be getting grumpy with me over a parenting decision we have made?