To feel guilty about co sleeping?

[Moulesfrites]

My ds is 6.5 mo. Up until he was 5.5 mo he Slept in his Moses basket and then in a travel cot in our room. Since going into his own room he has settled great and his sleeping improved slightly although he has never slept through. However, for the past week or so he has been under the weather. I have had him to the docs twice, and he has also cut his first tooth. He has been waking up screaming several times a night, and for the first time this week I brought him into our bed as I was so in need of sleep. We have done this for the past 4 nights now! I have read up all the stuff about safe co sleeping etc.

It has been lovely. I have loved waking up next to him and feel refreshed after getting more sleep, but at the same time, I worry that I have done something that in the long term will cause problems and our bed will never be our own again! I know my parents and pils would be horrified if they knew, and it does seem a shame as the transition to his own room seemed to go so well at first. What should I do? I feel uneasy about it even though I know it means we all get more sleep, like I am just taking the easy option!

I knew we would co-sleep as I am lazy and love my sleep, so it seemed like the most likely way to get enough sleep. We moved DD into her own cot and room at 6mo. Even now (10mo) if she wakes in the night she comes in with us for the rest of the night. I would move her back when she is asleep, but I am asleep by then too. This generally happens for a few nights in a row and then she goes back to sleeping through in her own room after that. It doesn't seem to have turned into a habit (touch wood) as if she isn't unwell or disturbed then she doesn't wake up and as she starts each night in her own room she mostly just stays there. I quite like the nights that she ends up with us as it gives me the opportunity to get a good snuggle. And she comes in every morning and often falls asleep after her first bottle.

The main thing is to do it as safely as possible. We have a bed guard on my side of the bed to make sure she doesn't fall out and this stays in place even though she mostly sleeps in her own room. Remember that other people don't know the details of what you do to ensure that your co-sleeping is safe.

We have a super king size bed and that is a great help for co-sleeping.

Co-slept with all my dc. DD until she was 3.5yo (By which point she chose to move to her own bed as my bump was getting in her way). DS1 until he was 17 months old, again his choice. DS2 until he was 2yo, and even now he's 7.8yo, he sometimes still co-sleeps, as he's severely asthmatic, and when he's bad, I can keep a better eye on him in with me and know straight away when he needs his inhalers (probably only about 4 weeks of the year), and am currently co-sleeping with DS3, 6.5mo.

All have gone into their own rooms when they are personally ready, and none have problems sleeping. Safe co-sleeping is the easiest way of getting enough sleep with a young child, easier for bf, and I believe it's what humans were biologically evolved to do, to be able to protect your dc from predators.

TBH I think its your call. Clearly you know the risks of co-sleeping. Having known a baby who died in their parents bed I personally wouldn't allow them in bed all night with me. Breastfeeding fine, just not all night. Under 1yr the risk is much higher.
If teething is the problem then I would suggest getting on top of the pain with regular ibuprofen which is much safer than co-sleeping! Then put lo back in the cot to sleep.
Some posters may not have had issues getting their children to sleep through. IME more have problems than don't. At this age they have short memories and will soon forget about sleeping with you. As someone else said after 9 months they know what they like and then it becomes very difficult to break the habit. I have also met lots of non sleeping toddlers who were co-sleepers, more so than those who always slept in their own rooms.

I think it depends on whether you want it to run its natural course as well. Fine if you do but I could not stand to share my bed for 2-3 years with dc although I love them dearly They fidget too much for my liking and I 'd get very little sleep.

Think of it as a phase and go with it as long as it suits. You baby is still really little, and these things pass, so if you dont want to co sleep for a long time, you dont have to.
I couldnt stand co sleeping with a toddler either-get kicked black and blue!

I've co-slept with all 4 of my children at one point or another.
Some of them liked to be in our bed every night while others only slept in our bed when they were ill. We never had any hard and fast rules but just dealt with one day at a time and went for the option that meant the most sleep for all of us - always taking the 'easy option'!
Oh, and for what it's worth, they are 12, 10, 4 and 8 months now and they are all excellent sleepers.
Enjoy, and get as much sleep as you can!

For what it's worth:

I didn't co-sleep with my 2 dcs when I lived with my partner because
(1) he wouldn't have liked it
(2) society says it's wrong

Now I've got rid of him there's 3 of us in the bed.

We're happy, safe, warm and sleep like logs.

I can forsee only 1 future problem: having to upgrade to a superking

(and I wish, I really wish, that I'd have been able to co-sleep with them as babies because it was what I, as a mother, had secretly wished I could do)

Obviously you should do what works for now. I curl up with DD whenever she has a cold or just seems to need more cuddles for any reason but she is normally happy to sleep alone as soon as she is well again.

I am co-sleeping for at east half of the night with dd3 (15 months), I did the same with dd's 1 and 2. They both sleep brilliantly now, in their own beds - they sometimes come in for a cuddle when they have a bad dream but they always want to go back to their own bed. I got so fed up of hearing the phrase "rod for your own back" - you do what you need to, if it helps you that's the most important thing.

I co-sleep with both my DDs. It is fantastic and I wouldn't have it any other way. If anyone trots out the old 'rod for your own back' crap, try to resist punching them and instead ask for some evidence. There isn't any, just anecdotes about their auntie Doris's neighbour's daughter. But if you like anecdotes, I co-slept with my parents as a baby and I have no trouble sleeping anywhere, any time, any position, any noise level etc

Three in a Bed is an excellent book.

DD1 has always slept in her own cot or bed as a rule, but has been allowed to come into our bed if she is under the weather or upset or just finding it hard to sleep. She's now 3 and every now and again she comes and climbs into bed with us halfway through the night. But most of the time she sleeps really well in her own bed. A few times I worried about her getting into a habit, but once the teething or cold or whatever was over, she always went back to sleeping on her own very happily. So it worked for us.

DD2 is 2 months and she starts the night in her cot but comes into our bed when she needs a feed. I don't intend to continue this indefinitely, at some point I'll start putting her back into her cot and encouraging her to sleep alone. But I'm not worrying about it, and right now I just want to get plenty of sleep.