....or was this an unusually frugal picnic?

[GeraldineAubergine]

last week my dp invited his friend over with his new girlfriend (she's 20 he's 49,unnecessary but I felt I had to add it) and his daughter who was visiting for a week. I bought beer, coke, snacks and we ordered takeaway pizzas as it was a treat for his dd's holiday. All was lovely. Anyhow to say thanks he invited us (dp, ds and myself for a picnic yesterday. I didn't eat thinking il fill up on delicious picnic food.
The picnic consisted of ( for 4 adults and 2 kids): 2 cheese sandwiches cut into 4, 1 small prepack salad, a pear and an apple plus 3 low fat yoghurts. There was a carton of oj too. And six packets of hula hoops which I'm glad I brought :). It was a bit awkward. Am I being unrealistic was this a reasonable picnic? Or do I have greedy tendencies?

Oh dear I think I oversold myself (and am about to reveal how 'common' I am with what I consider "luxuries"), I meant more quantity wise. Nonetheless I always ensure scones, both fruit and plain varieties, are included in a picnic along with the requisite strawberry jam and cream, ahem... [Starts to slink away in a very undetectable way]

Homemade scotch eggs are a good picnic food and very easy to make. Sausage rolls are a 'must' as well, I think, homemade again but I make horrid ones, hard as a try. Like concrete blocks with flavouring in the middle... :(

That is not a picnic - it is a shameful disgrace!! I wouldn't invite anyone over to share that! Sounds like a standard packed lunch for two to me.

We are picnicking this pm with another family. I am taking a 12 inch home made quiche, green salad, tomato and mozzarella salad, pasta salad, chicken legs, lemon mousse, an eight inch chocolate cake, two bottles of wine, three cartons of juice and a flask of coffee! AND the other mum will be bringing food too!!!!

Dizzy - Scones and jam and cream are just fine by me!

I like jammie dodgers. However, I think I probably like them slightly less after seeing this rather alarming advert for them.

The simian hip-thrusting at 12 seconds is enough to put anyone off their gala pie.

I once made fruit mince pies in filo pastry for a winter picnic. Beyond horrid. It was as if a huge mutant fly had allowed its sticky tongue to be chopped into pieces and baked.

I like scones, Dizzy.

I have a friend who always makes nice food but never quite enough. Once we went round there and had lovely roast beef and homemade Yorkshire puddings - one slice of beef and one yorkie each. And they were the ones made in a 12-hole bun tin, too, so not huge. I'll never forget seeing him open the oven and take out a tray with precisely five Yorkshire puddings in. Who has ever made 5 Yorkshire puddings?

My picnics deteriorate throughout the holidays.

They start off brilliantly with olives and chorizo and nice bread etc

At the end of the Easter holidays everyone fell about laughing as I pulled out a loaf of bread, a jar of jam and a jar of Nutella! Kids were happy though.

If I was catering for friends for a picnic though I would really pull the stops out with sundried tomatoes and lovely cheese and wine and homemade brownies.

You simply must insist on a return picnic Geraldine! May I suggest a small saucer of cheese on sticks? Maybe a solitary piece of pineapple for decoration?

If we are going to MILs for lunch we get asked in the morning how many potatoes we are all going to eat so she can peel the exact right number...

Oh dear lord, a potato with your name on ...

Better than a bullet though, LineRunner.

I'm going to hold a picnic for them, the twist will be it will be a picnic comprised exclusively of things in tins. I will say I thought we were doing picnics with a theme, theirs was obviously 'impoverished elderly spinster' mine will be 'living with only a hotplate and your wits'.

I cater for the 5000, it comes from my mum!! I hate the thought of anyone being hungry or thirsty so I am forever pressing food and drink on people

Got to say, I know I'm greedy but surely you need a few scotch eggs, pork pies, beef sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps, cakes, apples, etc. for a decent picnic. What went wrong?

Can you do a theme within a theme? For instance, the Atmosphere of Hawaii, featuring tinned pineapple (obviously), tinned coconut cream, and some sort of canned fish product.

Katisha! at personal spud ration!

Well we live in north London so maybe it could be the atmosphere of Camden featuring red stripe lager, roll ups, and bar snacks? With maybe a pineapple and Stella amouse Bouche or a cannabis and fag ash palate cleanser?

I've got an old friend who phoned to aske me if one cauliflour was enough for 18 people for dinner. cauliflour cheese was the main dish apparently

she is a well known tight arse tho'. always manages to stay so long my family are gnawing their own hands off with hunger so she gets an invite to dinner.

Dinner at a friend's and she had done what she called 'a roast' - it was one small slice of lamb, two tiny new potatoes and seven YES SEVEN circles of carrot!!

Seven! That's six too many surely?

Invite them and feed them and show them again how it's done

I don't understand what goes through these peoples' minds. Surely they've seen meals? Been served meals by others? Looked through restaurant windows (even if they don't eat out) or seen gravy adverts that show plates of roast dinner (even if they don't eat them themselves).

I imagine that they must have seen meals, yet disapproved of them in some way.

I just don't understand it really. I have fed him before, it wasn't an extravagant bacchanalian feast but it wasn't bread and water either. I am judging him harshly anyway because he was wearing espadrilles.

He was wearing espadrilles???

Say no more.