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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the phrase "X months/weeks gone"?

30 replies

BertieBotts · 06/08/2011 00:00

And variations thereof. "How far gone is she?" "How far gone are you?" Hate the way it sounds like you're either dying or trying to work out if it's too late to have an abortion. It's just pregnancy, not the end of your life or anything.

Am probably being grumpy but it's irrationally annoyed me for years.

OP posts:
madhattershouse · 06/08/2011 00:02

Gotta be better than "how long have you been cooking for then??" or "when did that happen?" Grin

AgentZigzag · 06/08/2011 00:05

How far gone you are doesn't bother me, but I do try not to say I'm going to put DD2 down.

Just in case anyone got the wrong end of the stick Grin

AmberLeaf · 06/08/2011 00:10

I dont mind that one so much

'havent you dropped that baby yet' really makes me want to punch someone though.

limitedperiodonly · 06/08/2011 00:12

Don't know why, but I hate it too.

madhattershouse · 06/08/2011 00:14

Ooh, just rememberes I was talking to a friend the other day, 9months pregnant, and a friend of hers walks up and says "Haven't you emptied yet"

BertieBotts · 06/08/2011 00:18

Emptied?? What a lovely mental image Confused

OP posts:
Popbiscuit · 06/08/2011 00:19

Agree Bertie. The phrase has slightly naughty, gym-slip mother undertones.

posterofawolef · 06/08/2011 00:21

Not as bad as men announcing that 'we' are pregnant.

Popbiscuit · 06/08/2011 00:26
MightyQuim · 06/08/2011 01:42

Or that you have 'fallen' pregnant.

KateBC · 06/08/2011 01:53

I have a friend who refers to it as 'getting caught' pregnant.

Blech

rooks14 · 06/08/2011 02:09

I don'tmind it. I hate "when's he due?" or "when's he going to arrive?" as if he'll just appear one day without any effort from me...

SpareRoomSleeper · 06/08/2011 02:54

I detest the "we" are pregnant one from men too.

we are not pregnant. You, mate, have donated a sperm cell.

She, on the other hand, has another human being growing inside her womb, something you can never ever do, and after nine months, she, is going to squeeze it out of her vagina, something which you will never ever have. So don't try to kid yourself, ok mate? Hmm

SpareRoomSleeper · 06/08/2011 02:56

Oh, and I hate "emptied" and "dropped". Vile. And derogatory Angry

SpareRoomSleeper · 06/08/2011 02:57

[having a grumpy morning before fasting time begins again]

Continuum · 06/08/2011 05:39

I think I hate most pregnancy related questions actually, even ones that probably seem mild. This week was, "ooh you're carrying low, did you carry low with ds?" I don't fucking know!!! I have too much to do/worry about than analyse my fucking bump!!

But that's still better than the patting and the... rubbing... WTF?!? When did my body suddenly become public property?!?

Been dealing with insomnia... I may be a tad grumpy!

Melly20MummyToPoppy · 06/08/2011 06:15

My BIL kept asking me "Why don't you just push it out now?" did my head in. I could never think of a witty response though so just usually responded with a stony glare.

happyteetotal · 06/08/2011 06:19

Where I don't like the term 'we' are pregnant, I find the comment that the man has merely donated a sperm cell very offensive. It's hardly their fault they biologically can't give birth.

Continuum · 06/08/2011 10:16

Man donated sperm offensive?!? It's just a fact! They don't have to go through the many many changes and the toll it takes on your body, nevermind the potential damage.

That is all dh has donated biologically to the biological process that is pregnancy!

Now there are shared worries/nervousness/changes ahead etc. etc. But there's no freaking way I'm thinking, oh poor man, what about your poor feelings because your contribution to physically growing this child until birth and going through birth was a sperm!!

Nettee · 06/08/2011 10:26

what about supporting and worrying about his dp? and being there for the labour and being powerless to change the situation for the person he loves. Not that I am saying fathers are "poor" but involved - hopefully yes and that is a good thing.

LineRunner · 06/08/2011 11:42

Melly20, the witty response to your BiL is, of course, the enduring 'And why don't you just fuck off?'

HTH

SpareRoomSleeper · 06/08/2011 12:29

Oh for goodness sake, get a grip to those who find it offensive I said men merely donate a sperm in pregnancy! Because that is all they do whether you like it or not
Hmm We were talking about pregnancy here, and men saying 'we' are pregnant, and biologically that us incorrect and it sounds twattish to say the least. We were not talking about supportive dhs/dps, or however else they contribute after the birth .

CBear6 · 06/08/2011 12:57

DH says "we're going to have another baby in September" which to me is fine because we are but he would never say "we're pregnant". He's told me in the past that it's me who is pregnant, he's just a bystander until the baby arrives. It's not that he's not supportive, he's very supportive and he's picking up a lot of the slack now I'm slowing down, he just knows that the physical part of pregnancy is my ball game.

I remember my brother telling me that if men gave birth there'd be no epidurals, no 12 months of maternity leave, and they'd be back at work later the same day. I actually love my SIL for telling him to shut his mouth :)

BertieBotts · 06/08/2011 13:20

ROFL. If men gave birth they would have invented something better than an epidural, and maternity leave would be 21 months at full pay (encompassing all of the pregnancy AND twelve months to recover and/or breastfeed) Wink

OP posts:
mayorquimby · 06/08/2011 13:27

I dunno SRS while I'd agree with your point your choice of phrase may lead some to view it as slightly dismissive/distancing of the mans involvment. A bit like saying "all the woman is doing is incubating" or as though you're making something of a martyr out of women for being the ones who give birth. After all it's equally true to say, women are just doing what their bodies are bilogically designed to do. so they should stop moaning or expecting any praise for doing something which billions of others have done throughout the history of mankind.

  • caveat this is not what I actually think, just providing a polemic as to how we can use universal truths as a basis for dismissive language.
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