Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is either just not on or plain illegal?

37 replies

NickRobinsonsloveslave · 05/08/2011 22:30

My mum lives in a council flat with a single bloke living below. He has 'lots of visitors', mainly couples who arrive at all times of the day, not just evenings.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I visited her with my DCs. As we sat there drinking tea with DCs playing with a board game, the most horrendous 'sex' noises began to emanate from the downstairs flat.

I looked at my mum in shock and she just shrugged, embarrassed, and said it had been going on for weeks. Apparently, these couples turn up, go into his flat, then have extremely noisy sex. We don't know if he is participating or watching, but we know his wife left him a while back because she caught him watching nasty stuff on the internet.

I cannot believe that this is acceptable behaviour and told my mum to complain to council. She won't do this as she is scared he will know it's her that complained and make life even more uncomfortable for her.

She worries that the grandchildren will hear what is going on when they visit.
Surely this is illegal?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 05/08/2011 22:31

what is? you dont know whats going on

YoungishBag · 05/08/2011 22:31

No, sex isn't illegal.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 22:32

No crime is being committed by consenting adults having sex, if that's what you mean Grin

It could be a noise nuisance.

In fact, I'm sure I've read stories about couples getting into trouble for having noisy sex.

snippywoo2 · 05/08/2011 22:33

having loud sex in itself is not illegal but I have heard of cases where a court has told them to keep the noise down

Sidge · 05/08/2011 22:34

Ewwww.

Not illegal but not pleasant to have to listen to.

Can you put a note through his door asking him to keep the sex noise down or you will have to contact the Noise Abatement Team at the Council.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 22:34

ah, here it is

same story

So clearly action can be taken, it is up to your mum to decide if she wants to.

Letz · 05/08/2011 22:35

You are right. Sex is absolutely unacceptable behaviour.

FabbyChic · 05/08/2011 22:35

Sex is not illegal. He is clearly into three somes, probably on AFF and finding couples that way. Sorry but other than complain about the noise there is nothing your mother can do, unless of course he is charging for his services.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 22:36

Can't she play loud music when the noise starts?

Something by Barry White, if she wants to be helpful...

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 05/08/2011 22:37

Even if he's charging for his services, it's legal.

CurrySpice · 05/08/2011 22:38

There is nothing illegal about charging for sex either FabbyChic

Soliciting is illegal
Running a brothel is illegal

Having sex for money is not

What a horrible situation for your mother OP :(

hester · 05/08/2011 22:39

Or he may be making porn films down there, which possibly contravenes his tenancy agreement.

hiddenhome · 05/08/2011 22:41

Just start playing 'I'm Too Sexy' by Right Said Fred very loudly when they start Grin

MirandaGoshawk · 05/08/2011 22:42

Not sure that disturbing the neighbours will be tolerated if he's in a council flat. She should complain to the council - how will he know it's her?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 22:43

Or 'itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini' on a loop.

Guaranteed mood killer Grin

Smellslikecatpee · 05/08/2011 22:45

No No No, get a CD of this [http://www.amazon.co.uk/Priests/dp/B001DAYA6Q] that might put them off a little.

travailtotravel · 05/08/2011 22:45

My mate had this - dreadful noise. Basically the guy in the flat above was running a knocking shop and was pimp to a load of "girls". Hideous when its going on. He reported it; let the coppers lurk to get evidence etc, but it went on for ages before it was dealt with and was really stressful.

So I can understand why your mum doesn't want to get into all that. But also, she can do something about it. Start with the council, then a call to the local police station (non emerg number).

Smellslikecatpee · 05/08/2011 22:45

God danm it when will I ever get links right first time..

snippywoo2 · 05/08/2011 22:46

If I were you I would contact the council myself, explain the situation and tell them your mum is worried about the consequences of complaining. Maybe they can help without implicating her. Make a point of the unusually large amount of visitors at all times of the day and night this may indicate to them drugs are involved.

Original poster
NickRobinsonsloveslave · 05/08/2011 22:47

That's what I think, hester. When his wife left she told my mum that she caught him filming himself in front of the computer. There are all these people, not just couples, turning up at all times of the day and night.

Okay, having noisy sex is not illegal, but listening to some bloke shouting "Do it harder" at 1 oclock in the afternoon is not plaesant.

I have told my mum to complain to the warden, but she is worried about him making things worse on purpose. She is also worried that he might complain about grandchildren being noisy ( they are not) just to get back at her.

I do like the idea of playing the loud music though. Might get her a copy of I want your sex.

OP posts:
Smellslikecatpee · 05/08/2011 22:47

And then knock on the door with Bible/book of Mormon in hand and ask if they've found God yet?

wompoopigeon · 05/08/2011 22:48

Your poor mum.
Has she talked to the other neighbours about it? It must be disturbing them too.

commanderprimate · 05/08/2011 22:48

I know this might seem a bit obvious, but has she thought of speaking to him about it? Saying "I don't care what you're up to, but I don't want to hear it please"? He might be rather embarrassed once he realizes how blatant it is.
Weird scenario though. Is he a good-looking bloke?

snippywoo2 · 05/08/2011 22:52

tell her to put classic fm on really loud that will put them off if their of a certain age

Original poster
NickRobinsonsloveslave · 05/08/2011 22:59

commander, he has always been a bit 'funny', never speaks to any of the people living in the block of flats. So even if she did speak to haim about this, he would not be forthcoming.

Er no he is certainly not good looking...knocking on for 70.

The other tenants have noticed his behaviour, but, because my mum lives above him, and is the only one who can hear it all, he is bound to know it's her if a complaint is made.

If it was me I would be round there like a shot, and did offer to do this, but my mum lives alone, and is scared of any retaliation on his part. I do understand this, but she is worried and is making herself ill over it.

Just so angry on her behalf. Wish the council could just throw the sleazebag out on the street.

OP posts: