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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that claiming you have 'a bit of OCD' is not on?

164 replies

kickingking · 05/08/2011 21:26

I have noticed that quite a lot of people have begun to say they think they have 'a bit of OCD' because they are very tidy or particular about something.

Like, "I have to have all my towels hung up just so in the bathroom, I'm sure I must be a bit OCD."
or "All my kids' plastic toy boxes have to be the same colour or it would send me mad - I must have OCD."
or "I'm a bit OCD about folding my jumpers up properly before I put them in my drawers."

I have become convinced that this is a form of women stealth-boasting about how clean and tidy they keep their house.

I have no experience personally of OCD, but I imagine if you really had OCD, it could make your life a bit of a misery.

AIBU to think that claiming you have 'a little bit of OCD' undermines the difficulties faced by those who really do have the condtion, and is just pathetic way to show off about your housekeeping skills?

OP posts:
pointydog · 06/08/2011 22:19

People who use the term often aren't making any pretence at understanding all the ins and outs of the condition. They are just using language to get a mental image across.

InstantAtom · 06/08/2011 22:25

pointydog, I don't think it is "just talking". Words do have meanings and connotations. Why not use some other term instead of using the term OCD incorrectly?

didyouseewhatshedid · 06/08/2011 22:30

OCD is just a label used to describe a massively wide spectrum of behaviour - from people who arrange the furniture in certain ways right through to people who are so crippled with it they can't leave the house and whose lives are totally ruined by it. It's frankly ridiculous for people - like the OP here - to start appropriating the term as their own and suggest it only be used in very 'serious' cases.

sweetkitty · 06/08/2011 22:41

Truthsweet - your posts have really hit the nail on the head with me, I am suffering from anxiety and get these thoughts all the time. For instance, we were on a ferry a while back I was actually imagining the double pram falling into the water and sinking and me jumping in and which baby to save! This is on a family day trip.

The worst time is driving, I am a nervous driver and cannot really drive anywhere out my comfort zone, I actually "see" accidents happen all the time. Even if DH is driving if he is driving over a flyover I imagine that car going over it, or him clipping a barrier on the motorway. I check and double check the DCs car seats before every journey.

This morning I went to wake DS up (rare occurance) and had the thought of him lying there still and white with blue lips, what is that all about??!!

I have told the GP this and am on citalopram just now but it doesn't seem to be helping some days it's hard just to go out.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 06/08/2011 22:52

I have clinical OCD, among other things (right bag of crazy here) but some people i know dont believe its OCD as my house isnt spotless......morons!

StealthPolarBear · 06/08/2011 22:57

I see Mitmoo has already been on this thread, and she changed my mind a bit on the other thread. But up until then OP I agreed with you - it's a badge of honour, in the way "slight alzheimer's" wouldn't be. However, if it helps young people with OCD to feel as though they can fit in then I can quash my murserous thoughts. I am a bit psychotic, you see Wink

DessertNowPlease · 06/08/2011 23:00

Ok I may not be exactly crippled by it, but I am definately OC, and I don't so much get offended by people belittling OCD as think, lucky lucky cow that your only problem is straightening up towels in the bathroom!

TruthSweet · 06/08/2011 23:03

Sweetkitty - I'm not one to diagnose via internet but have you ever heard of Post-natal Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (aka PND-OCD or PPD-OCD/PPOCD for the US)? Like you can get post-natal depression and post-natal anxiety you can get post natal OCD (very baby focused rather than in general).

There is currently some research going on in to the condition see here and some more info on the condition here and here.

It is possible to get through to the other side, though at the time I didn't feel like I would ever be any better. What I found really frustrating was I had to keep asking for help and making a nuisance of myself until I go the help I and my family needed. If I had left it up to the professionals to deal with I certainly wouldn't be here now (and I don't mean that in a melodramatic way but when your DH has permission from work to make hourly phone calls to check you are still ok and your friends are on babysitting watch [they knew to call DH if I asked for them to babysit on short notice] you are definitely in a bad way).

I really hope you get through this soon. All the very best for the future.

StealthPolarBear · 06/08/2011 23:04

I think for me I just wish people would stop and think about what they are saying. And I do not have OCD and do not know anyone who suffers from it and yet even I can guess that it is more than straight towels

AgentZigzag · 06/08/2011 23:14

I'm surprised to see the scenarios of doom I play out quite a lot to be part of my OCD, I always thought it was me just being morbid Grin

northernrock · 06/08/2011 23:15

Agree with didyouseewhatshedid.
It's a sliding scale.
My cousin is OCD to the point of being housebound, not allowing visitors in the house, throwing away "contaminated " food etc.
I am OCD too, in the sense that I have to follow certain routines, and get very very anxious about certain thing (oddly nothing to do with clean towels, or tidiness-weird ritualistic stuff) and this is much more pronounced when I am tired/worries about something/depressed.
OCD is a neurological disorder, which can be somewhat treated with medication, but I prefer not to taker the meds because of the side effects.
Maybe some people use the phrase wrongly thinking it has something to do with being very tidy, but it doesn't really.
It is more to do with needing to have "control" over certain things, and very related to anxiety.

PumpkinBones · 06/08/2011 23:30

I have intrusive thoughts, ranging from thinking I am going to do something massively inappropriate to imagining myself throwing one of my children from a height, eg multi-storey car park or balcony. I also project it onto other people, ie imagine that when my sister is looking after DS's she will throw one of them off of a height. I know I won't do it but I genuinely fear I will, if that makes sense.

I always think of OCD as being quite selective, ie if you go to the home of someone who has OCD, it will not be necessarily noticeabley immaculate, but you might find that cupboards are arranged a certain way, my mum for example has a thing about pegs and matching up colours, it sounds trivial, and people might think she was using it inappropriately, but I have seen her cry about not having the right number of pegs of a certain colour. I think there's two sides to this, one is that people misinterpret what OCD is, and the other is that there are simply more of us that have certain rituals, throught patterns, habits than anyone realises!

Lunabelly · 07/08/2011 01:07

When DC1 was born, I couldn't cook anything that required sharp knives, because I was convinced that it wasn't carrots I was chopping up, but my baby.

Everytime I write something, be it a letter, email, mn post, official form - I have to check it 10 times - reading out loud - because I am convinced I have actually scrawled horrific obscenities.

When I want to, I have a phenomenal memory. Handy for when I have to repeatedly mentally go over entire conversations word for word to make sure I didn't say anything insulting or obscene et cetera.

The toilet roll and the toothbrushes have to be a certain way. If they get UnWayed, I get irrationally upset.

People laugh when I have to run up the road to check the front door. Again. Even though I checked it fifty-eight-million fecking times before we left. And don't get me started on the gas cooker.

It's exhausting. It's a cock. It has negatively affected my life. GP is always trying to chuck counsellors / pills at me.
And it's nowhere near as bad as it could be, as some people have to live with.

Although I wish that shiny towels and a lickable carpet were my only obsessive compulsions, I still don't begrudge the 'flippant' use of the phrase, although I can see why other people might.

InstantAtom · 07/08/2011 07:49

I don't think the OP is saying mild OCD doesn't count.

Arranging things in a logical order or wanting a tidy house doesn't mean someone has OCD. Those things are within the spectrum of normality. So when people self-diagnose supposed OCD just for being tidy that's unfair on real sufferers.

Of course, some people display those symptoms as part of mild OCD but OCD is an illness and those things in themselves do not make OCD unless they are part of an anxiety ritual.

Mitmoo · 07/08/2011 08:22

I think it is a positive thing to talk about OCD no matter how it is brought into the conversation. I've been been very open about my son's OCD as has he and that has helped him enormously.

I have heard one parent refer to it as "their dirty little secret" I thoroughly cringed. People with OCD unlike many mental illnesses are fully aware their mind is playing some rather nasty tricks on them. To know there are other people who share some of the same traits I find comforting as they know how they feel if the house isn't pristine and know it is not rational.

Due to our openness and readiness to discuss it we've met many adults with the condition and one lady was in her 70s and hadn't been able to tell anyone about her childhood OCD because she felt no one would understand.

I use it as an opportunity to explain what it is like to really be on the spectrum and just how debilitating it can be.

hairylights · 07/08/2011 08:28

Actuallly you can be a bit OCD. Like other mh conditions it ranges from mild to severe.

hairylights · 07/08/2011 08:29

[[http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/problems/obsessivecompulsivedisorder/obsessivecomplusivedisorder.aspx info here
]]

InstantAtom · 07/08/2011 08:33

No-one is saying mild OCD doesn't exist hairylights. The question is whether someone who doesn't suffer from OCD should call themselves "a bit OCD".

Mitmoo · 07/08/2011 08:36

Instant what is the harm? They are not saying they have OCD but some of the traits. My normal response is "all of the best/smartest people do" I don't take offense, strugglingto find why it's offensive to be honest.

InstantAtom · 07/08/2011 08:47

I think the harm is that it belittles and trivialises the condition.

Lunabelly · 07/08/2011 08:56

Hairylights, thank you for the link.

Mitmoo · 07/08/2011 09:00

That's why I use it for a conversation starter about OCD. No one can really truely understand it unless they have had it or lived with someone with the condition. When my son first got ill, it was literally out of the blue I had no idea it was OCD, I thought parandoid, manic all kinds went through my head but I had no idea OCD could literally stop you living your life.

As others have said it is a spectrum and many of us have OCD kinds of behaviours but it doesn't become OCD until it stops you living your life. But how can someone who hasn't really been exposed to severe OCD know that. To say they're a bit OCD isn't belittling IMO. They're not saying they have full on OCD just that they're a bit and most of us do things that are a bit OCD while not having OCD>

Claw3 · 07/08/2011 09:20

Its like saying 'im a bit ADHD' because you are dont like sitting still or 'im a bit autistic' because you like routine. Of course you are not 'a bit OCD' because you are neat and tidy.

You could take traits from any disorder and claim 'im a bit whatever' it does trivialise the condition.

Mitmoo · 07/08/2011 09:26

Luna have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy?

working9while5 · 07/08/2011 09:46

When I was pregnant, I became obsessed about swine flu, and I wouldn't let my hands touch off doors so I had to do all sorts of weird manoeuvres with my elbows. I also scrubbed my hands at least twice and hour and obsessively used sanitising gels all day long and wiped down surfaces that I felt were "contaminated" with special anti-viral tissues. I kept it quite secret because I knew it wasn't exactly "normal". I started writing to MPs about swine flu and I used to be in floods of tears going to work because I was going to get swine flu and as I am quite seriously asthmatic it was going to kill me and my baby. I spent hours on the internet researching swine flu and tracked its spread on a daily basis.

I got on with my life, I saw clients, I cooked dinners, I did most of what I normally do but I definitely was a "bit OCD" and my anxiety levels were really high in general. It went away when I had the baby, luckily.