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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to give MY holiday away for free?

62 replies

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 15:33

2nd thread today, i have alot to moan about!

DP's aunt is becoming more and more unbearable as time goes on she invites herself for dinner and tells me what I have to cook + have to make sure I buy what she wants or else she will slate me to the whole of dp's family (they already hate me)

She rings my dp and tells him when we have to go round there for dinner, I'm allergic to egg and she once served egg on a piece of gammon to me, she told everyone that I said I couldn't have it as I would have a very bad reaction to it, she told everyone I refused her food and was rude to her.

(all the above is kind of relevant to give you a picture of what she is like)

Now the holiday- it is only a cheap sun holiday a week away. She saved up the vouchers, booked where we were going then told us afterwards we paid £80 ourselves for the entertainment passes and the electricity and the main holiday, now we can't afford to go due to the car (other thread) and various other expenses so to be polite we told her we couldn't go and does she know anyone who would want to buy it from us.

She then phoned to say that she had asked her sons step daughter and that they want to go in our place and for us to change the names over, when dp told her how much they would need to give us she went mad at him saying how dare we try to charge a family member for a holiday! And how as we can't go we should just give it to them! Urmm no! We can't go because we are skint and want the money to pay a bill!

AIBU to think she is really out of order to expect us to just give away our holiday?

OP posts:

5Foot5 · 05/08/2011 16:50

"she saved the Sun vouchers and then sent off for where she wanted us to go then told us about it and we paid for it "

I am having trouble getting my head around this.

So this woman you don't like and can't trust made a decision about where you should go on holiday and you just meekly took the vouchers and paid up instead of telling her MYOB.

Try to sell the holiday on to someone else. Do either of you know anyone at work who might be after a last minute bargain?

Then don't have anything else to do with the interfering old bag.

jumpingjackhash · 05/08/2011 16:56

Sheesh, she sounds like a right old bag! Why do you bother with her?! Why did you let her dictate your holiday in the first place?

Re. the holiday, do you know anyone else who would buy it off you at cost? Take her out of the equation completely. I'm sorry but you really need to stand up to her.

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 17:41

Only the accomadation is paid for, we cant go as we cant afford the petrol / food while we there etc etc.

The reason she gets to charge us around and tell us what to do is because my DP is a soft touch and has no concept of the word NO. so she rings him tells him whats what and he says 'ok then' then i get told and i am like AHHHH!

I have someone who wants to buy the holiday from us but my DP thinks because she arranged it all for us she should get first refusal on it?!

His whole family make me pull my hair out, i'm not to sure how much more i can take! we have had a really shitty year and was so looking forward to getting away but as luck would have it we now cant.. why the hell should i give MY holiday that i deserve away for free?! So i loose money and i loose a holiday!? WTF!

OP posts:

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 17:50

DH might be a soft touch but maybe you could talk to him, about you being the one to tell his fmaily to piss off? If he can't do it, he shoudln't answer the phone.

cjbartlett · 05/08/2011 17:52

Can't you go into your overdraft ? Sounds like you need a break
eBay stuff etc

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 17:52

Could her thinking be that she saved the vouchers and booked it, so this holiday that you deserve you would not have had at all but for her and since you can't go on it, you should give it to someone else of her choosing?

You should certainly expect them to pay you what you have forked out, (£80 didn't you say?) otherwise you are paying £80 for them to go on holiday! That's not on.

I still think you should stop seeing her. Sounds like she brings nothing positive to your lives.

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 17:54

My thoughts exactly lola.

cj we dont have an over draft (we both have poor credit) we desperatly need a break we just don't have the money for it, we were going to take £200 (which would include petrol) however the car repairs are £400 so we are having to find another £200 for that aswell.

OP posts:

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 17:55

So how do i tell her that I wont change the names over untill we have the money for it?

I know it sounds totally pathetic but I feel so pissed off we cant go on the holiday we have been looking forward to, i would rather noone have it if it means giving it for free!

OP posts:

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 17:56

"We won't change the names over until we have the £X that we paid for the ."

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 17:57

Sell it and then explain to your aunt you also felt uncomfortable charging a relative, so you sold it to someone else completely!>

And then man up and don't let her interfere ever again

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 17:57

I can hear her now..

'oh don't be so ridiculous'

OP posts:

WilsonFrickett · 05/08/2011 17:59

You have given her first refusal, she's not come up with anyone that wants to buy the holiday, just someone who would take it off your hands for nothing. So your conscience is clear and now you can give second refusal to someone who will actually pay you what the holiday is worth.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 05/08/2011 17:59

She's had first refusal and hasn't come up with anyone who is willing to buy the holiday from you. Instead, she's expecting you to gift it to extended family members that you've only seen from a distance.

You need the money you've paid out at the behest of your aunt and, lo and behold, the money is waiting to appear in your purse - sell the holiday asap to the person you know who wants to buy it.

Get your dp to grow some and tell his aunt to stop trying to run your lives. Next time collect your own holiday vouchers even if means buying some god-awful rag for a week or so - and choose where you want to go.

LolaRennt · 05/08/2011 18:00

Also is it free to change the names over? normally for holidays and tickets there is a fee incurred. I would not be suprised if you wernt allowed at all since the Sun vouchers are a first come first served thing and the advertisers might not want it to go to people who will sell them on ebay.

You certainly sholdt pay to change it for them on their free holiday!

Blu · 05/08/2011 18:00

So is it the £80 that you paid yourself that you want to sell on?

Or are you wanting to sell the full value of the holiday?

If it's the second i can see why she thinks that she gave you the basic hol, you can't use it so she'll give it to someone else - but they should pay the £80.

eurochick · 05/08/2011 18:03

Does the egg allergy make you sick as a dog? (I used to have an egg allergy when I was younger and that was the reaction). If so,let her feed you egg and then do Exorcist impressions all over her house. That'll learn her.

And why are you keeping this toxic woman in your lives and letting her dictate where you go on holiday?

YANBU - if someone you don't know wants the holiday they should pay you for it.

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 18:14

I think i am just going to tell the other person they can have it for £80 then tell DP to tell his Aunt it has now gone to someone who wanted to pay.

Blu - We paid £80 in total which was for the holiday and we would like that back.

Euro - yes sick as a dog, i can eat cakes and stuff just not plain egg on its own (which she tries to give me) I like the exorcist idea

OP posts:

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 05/08/2011 18:16

So what if she says don't be ridiculous? It's easy to reply "I am not being ridiculous, I am not willing to be £80 out of pocket. Those are my terms, they are non negotiable."

FakePlasticTrees · 05/08/2011 18:26

Sell it to the other person who will actually pay for it. Tell your DP's Aunt that as she couldn't find someone else who would pay for it, you needed the money too much to give it away for free. Present it as deal done.

Tell your DP he needs to grow some back bone with this woman, you don't want her at your house and you won't go to hers, so if he accepts an invite to her house for you, to accept you won't actually go, and he'll be embarrassed, and if she turns up at yours, you won't cook for her unless you'd agreed in advance she could come over and you invited her (not the other way round).

organiccarrotcake · 05/08/2011 18:28

So if, say, you found £200 down the back of the sofa you would go, and it would be solved, yes?

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 18:32

Organic, yes i guess we would.

Themagnificent - i like your thinking

Fake - I am not letting her round for dinner again, she critises everything and makes demands that really piss me off. she isnt the queen!

OP posts:

shrinkingnora · 05/08/2011 18:38

Do you have any tesco vouchers knocking around? Because then you might be able to get the train for nothing via their clubcard deals and you would only have to pay for food (which you would have to pay for at home anyway).

I really want you to have a holiday!

Original poster

hellospoon · 05/08/2011 18:41

Lol shrinking me too!

How would i use the vouchers to get the train?

OP posts:

organiccarrotcake · 05/08/2011 18:45

OP, check your Tesco vouchers then check your messages, I've sent you a PM with a suggestion.

I don't have a any Tesco vouchers but maybe if you need more some of the lovely people on here would donate them to you..?

chicletteeth · 05/08/2011 18:47

She's a lunatic.

YANBU.

Sell the tickets and then tell her to get stuffed and stay the fuck out of your business, then kick her in the fanjo whilst cracking an egg over her head.

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