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AIBU?

to feel even more offended by catcalls when I'm pregnant?

118 replies

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 20:53

This is totally a rant, I personally am under no delusion I ANBU.

I hate the catcalls, wolf whistles and lewd remarks I get walking down the street by men up ladders, in cars, just walking along and hate hearing them made at other women too. I get embarassed by the very occasional "lovely smile" or whatever but so angry at the number of times I hear "get your tits out" or "lucky saddle" when cycling. Usually I go red and carry on walking or whatever.

Now however I'm 6months pregnant, and most of the time I catch a man about to say something or looking at me in that way, then they see the bump, THEY go red and look the other way. However some men just don't, and have even had "wish I'd put that in you" shouted at me. I just don't get how men think it's acceptable to talk to a bloody pregnant woman that way!

And this is not a "I'm so pretty, all the men catcall me" post, more often then not I look like a right dog's dinner when I get these comments. And hate to say it, but it's usually white van men too.

OP posts:

Report

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:16

Have to add that this isn't exactly a daily occurence, but probaby 3-4 times a week at least, and even if it were once a week/month I'd still feel humiliated and sullied by it. Which is the intention I suppose.

OP posts:

MarshaBrady · 04/08/2011 21:16

Grim. Not all comments are the same, some are way worse than others, and that is grim.

aliceliddell · 04/08/2011 21:17

mitmoo is much unlike any woman I have ever known. Wonder why?

SpringHeeledJack · 04/08/2011 21:17

YANBU

and roffle at "flowers and notes"

the worst one I got when I was pregnant was "oi, slag! are you pregnant, or just fat?"- cue much laughter from prick's pals outside pub on a Friday night

superjobee · 04/08/2011 21:17

god thats horrible! rightly so they should be embarrassed but the ones who continue anyway that is vile :(

on a different note, im 7 months gone and have noticed men flirting with me! flirting openly, when i am blatantly with child it embarrasses me as im not normally noticed or flirted with and it also makes me feel uncomfortable that they may be those men that get off on pregnant women its just a little bit creepy ..

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:17

oh god duck, that's awful too....

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GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:19

superjobee is it because they think they can get away with it? That a pregnant woman won't flirt back and they'd have to follow through, or we won't be aggressive towards them?

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Whatmeworry · 04/08/2011 21:20

OP your looks wont last forever, and I think mst women will tell you it's a lot harder to deal with men no longer looking at you in that way than a bit of catcalling.

BulletWithAName · 04/08/2011 21:21

Walking with my son to nursery, pushing DD in buggy, two men walk by, leer and me and one says 'If I was ten years younger, I'd be in that'

That.

revolutionscoop · 04/08/2011 21:22

I hardly ever get this sort of unwelcome attention when I'm out with the dcs, especially not when pushing the pram. It does tend to happen when I'm out on my own though. I had that 'wish I'd put that in you' comment when pg, too... Absolutely vile.

superjobee · 04/08/2011 21:23

im not sure girl, it seems to start with a friendly smile then it gets really sinister feeling i dunno if its just me but ick! i just give them really filthy looks like they're shit ive just stepped in once i realise they are being weird

RitaMorgan · 04/08/2011 21:24

Whatmeworry - how pathetic. You really think women should be grateful for being shouted at in the street?

lovinme · 04/08/2011 21:24

yep it's even worse when your with your children especially when they're older and they ask you what the man/men meant

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:24

am actually really shocked there have been a few responses of people effectively saying I should enjoy my looks while they last!!

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BulletWithAName · 04/08/2011 21:26

OP your looks wont last forever, and I think mst women will tell you it's a lot harder to deal with men no longer looking at you in that way than a bit of catcalling.

Oh fuck off, I should be able to go out of my front door and walk down the road without having sexually harrassing comments thrown at me or being leered at like a piece of meat.

It probably happens because I wear short skirts. Silly me, everyone knows if you wear a short skirt, 'you're up for it'.

Whatmeworry · 04/08/2011 21:27

RitaMorgan that's not what I said. catcalls are the downside of being young and attractive, and it doesnt last. But I guess you have to be older to know that.

Birdsgottafly · 04/08/2011 21:28

WHATMEWORRY- it depends on were you got your self esteem from.

I am pleased that now i am older, the way i get treated is more respectful, i am not on this planet mearly to decorate it and amuse men.

BulletWithAName · 04/08/2011 21:28

whatmeworry- Fair enough, I take back the fuck off

I get what you're saying about getting older, I do, but the things that some of these men come out with is not pleasant at all, especially in front of kids.

PeterSpanswick · 04/08/2011 21:29

Do you think men feel intimidated to walk past groups of women just in case we all start shouting sexual insults and making personal remarks about their appearance? No, me either.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:29

whatmeworry you were totally insinuating that I should be grateful for the attention I get

bullet I wear short skirts, city shorts, knee high boots. I also wear tracksuit bottoms, baggy jeans and hoohed sweathshirts. Doesn't seem to make much of a difference, except I expect it when I do make more of an effort.

OP posts:

maresedotes · 04/08/2011 21:30

BulletWithAName - that's disgusting and I agree that comments made in front of children are much worse.

When I was driving with my 9yo DD in the front of the car a white van sped up to the side of me to say something - the window was open, he looked past me and realised that the blonde in the front was a child and had the grace to look embarrassed (mind you I did say "What?" when he looked in). Arsehole.

maresedotes · 04/08/2011 21:31

I meant that was disgusting what the bloke said in front of your children, not your comments.

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GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:32

I suppose I should also be gratfeul to the two dickheads who groped my arse in broad daylight on a street corner, then made blowjob motions towards me when I looked back in shock to see who had done it

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Birdsgottafly · 04/08/2011 21:33

There shouldn't be a downside of being young and attractive and of course female. Why should females have these downsides throughout their life stages.

PeterSpanswick · 04/08/2011 21:35

I also don't think men are intimidated at night when they turn around to see a lone female walking down the road behind them. I know I automatically assume I am about to be murdered! Hardly equal, is it?

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