Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel awkward about my very new bf paying for lunch?

21 replies

OscarLove · 04/08/2011 11:23

I've just started seeing this man...he's lovely! Treats me like i've never been treated before.

He's just texted me to ask if i'd like to go out for dinner tonight. I replied that I have no money until mid August, and would be it ok to do it then, and he just replied that it's fine, it was always his treat anyway, seeing as he asked me out. That is lovely, I know but why do I feel so awkward about it? I really do like him and love to see him, he's wonderful!

OP posts:
bananasplitz · 04/08/2011 11:23

leave the bastard

qwepoi · 04/08/2011 11:23

Enjoy it!

Allinabinbag · 04/08/2011 11:25

Go out tonight, if you want to, then take him out to dinner in mid-August. Has the concept of 'taking turns' died out completely?

Allinabinbag · 04/08/2011 11:26

Although you do seem a bit confused if it is for lunch or dinner...

Original poster
OscarLove · 04/08/2011 11:27

Sorry, it is dinner :o

OP posts:
Original poster
OscarLove · 04/08/2011 11:28

Sorry, you must all think i'm a fool for asking this stupid question, but I do have aspergers, and it usually makes these things so tough, but i'm determined to not run away from this lovely man, scary as dating is!

OP posts:
TinkerLily · 04/08/2011 11:29

Have a wonderful time. I'm sure he is looking forward to spoiling you.
If you can't afford to take him out a while - and you feel comfortable with it - cook him a meal to say thanks.

BertieBotts · 04/08/2011 11:30

I think you should go! And as Allinabinbag says, take him out next month.

farnywarny · 04/08/2011 11:30

YABU. Let him pay.

Enjoy!

eurochick · 04/08/2011 11:31

Let him pay this time and you can pay next time you go out.

ZillionChocolate · 04/08/2011 11:31

Either you pay next time, or maybe invite him over and cook (might be cheaper). Have a lovely time!

squeakytoy · 04/08/2011 11:31

He invited you, so he pays. Go and enjoy it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/08/2011 11:32

YABU... Nice to see that chivalry isn't dead.

corriefan · 04/08/2011 11:32

I think it's good you know in advance he's paying so there are no awkward moments when the bill comes! Just say how kind he is but don't order all the most expensive things if you're worried!

PrincessJenga · 04/08/2011 11:34

YABU. Let him pay. In fact, let him pay for plenty of meals, drinks etc, especially in the first few weeks. I think this goes against the MN 'rules' btw, but I honestly believe blokes like to treat us, so let him do it. And, when you can afford to pay, then do (but choose the venue yourself so you stay within your budget!)

Oh, and congratulations. It sounds like he's really into you Grin

bubblesincoffee · 04/08/2011 11:35

Let him pay, and thank him so that he knows you appreciate it. But Don't be so appreciative that he thinks that you feel you don't deserve it. That's a turn off. Try and be confident enough to know that you are worth having dinner bought for you. He gets something out of it too - he get's to enjoy your company, and that only comes for free when you knw you really like someone. Grin

The suggestion of offering to cook for him one night is a good one.

Have fun!

nomoreheels · 04/08/2011 11:38

My friend's very new fella is taking her to Cuba for a week...so dinner is fine, enjoy it. :)

I know what you mean though, it can be hard to accept treats when you like to pay your way. Just reciprocate when you can.

Original poster
OscarLove · 04/08/2011 11:42

Thanks for your replies. He cooked last night for me and is taking me out tonight too. He's Prince Charming, I swear! My cooking is quite ropey :o I don't think my 'tuna surprise' of a tin of tuna, mixed with mashed potato and grated cheese would cut it! I'd have to make him my signature veggie lasagne and jamaican trifle :o Can't go wrong with those two!

OP posts:
TerrysNo2 · 04/08/2011 11:48

Let him pay and have fun and when you can, treat him back. I think going dutch is really awkward for both parties and its nicer to take turns to pay because then each of you feel special.

Have fun!

KlairvoyantKat · 04/08/2011 11:55

I agree too. Let him take you out and have a lovely time. Paying your way doesn't mean splitting the bill every time. He obviously is very keen on you and wants you to have a nice time.
You can pay for something when you have been paid. It doesn't have to be of exactly the same cash value, especially if he is better off than you. Example - if you go out and he pays for dinner, you can buy a round of drinks at the pub afterwards. Or if you usually have enough money, you can arrange an evening out and pay for it.
Also I think princessjenga is pretty spot on. It might not be PC, but men do like to treat a new girlfriend. Not that women should take the piss on this and not pay their way too and expect a man to fork out for everything, just that getting a calculator out at the end of the evening is not so romantic.

redexpat · 04/08/2011 12:39

Say OK! but next time's on me.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread