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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWUD - d&v

51 replies

farnywarny · 04/08/2011 09:09

I am in work following a night of d&v for me and dp.

I am on a warning about my time off already due to mum being diagnosed with cancer, granddad being diagnosed with cancer and sister being sectioned and all seemed to happen at once.

WWUD ? would you suck it up and try your best to stay in work, or would you go home regardless?

OP posts:

Sassybeast · 04/08/2011 11:49

They're probably too embarrassed to tell you what an idiot you are being. GO HOME - and before you go, ask somebody to clean the bloody computer that you are probably using.
Your reasons/excuses for your previous sick record are irrelevant - deal with it when you have been clear of symptoms for 48 hrs and haven't infected anyone else.

bubblesincoffee · 04/08/2011 11:51

Presumably those on the same level as you don't have the authority to tell you to go home anyway, so they are stuck with no choice in the matter.

Original poster

farnywarny · 04/08/2011 11:56

bubbles - my BOSS has said nothing either

OP posts:

bubblesincoffee · 04/08/2011 11:59

Yes but your boss has already proved himself to be a twat by putting you on a waring for taking time off for good reasons. His reluctance to let you go does nothing to help his other employees does it?

Obviously he cares more about getting the work done than he does about people.

bubblesincoffee · 04/08/2011 12:00

Anyway, the responsibility is yours to either not go in in the first place, or announce you are going home now.

You have as much responsibility as your boss does for this, seeing as it's your illness.

Meita · 04/08/2011 12:11

Why do some employers just not realise that a short term loss (one employee off sick, or one employee off on compassionate leave) might very well be lots cheaper than the likely mid-term loss (lots of employees infected by the one who came in despite being sick, employees not working at their best for a long time due to unresolved feelings of grief and stress, and furthermore not feeling any loyalty towards their jobs/employers)?

It's the boss who is really at fault. He is putting farny in an impossible position. Either lose money she desperately needs and risk her job which she can't afford to, or risk her colleagues' health and possibly their families' as well. I gather farny can't afford to do the 'right' thing. Not because she has no morals, but because her boss doesn't.

Sorry this is no practical help farny, was just getting a bit perturbed by some people laying all the blame on you.

AgentZigzag · 04/08/2011 12:13

Good post Meita, totally agree.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 04/08/2011 12:36

If it appears to your employers and other staff that you regularly leave them in the lurch, so to speak, it wouldn't be surprising if they are unsympathetic to further requests for time off outside of your annual leave entitlement although it is possible that they may be willing to accomodate any future planned and agreed absence as unpaid leave.

However, it seems to me that more information is needed before any considered opinion can be given.

How long have you been in your present employment? What is your annual leave entitlement and do you have any days remaining?

How many days 'here and there' have you taken this year for 'compassionate' reasons? On how many of these days did your employers have notice that you would be absent from work?

How many days have you taken as sick leave (if any)?

Are you on a verbal or written warning? Do you belong to a union and, if so, has your union rep been involved in any disciplinary action that has been taken against you?

Have you been told that if you take any more unauthorised leave you will lose your job, or if you go sick now will you lose money?

Sassybeast · 04/08/2011 12:43

But all of that is irrelevent in this situation. If the OP had posted to say she was taking a day off because of a family crisis, then sure - all of that would be part of the decison making. But she is suffering from an infectious disease, with fairly nasty symptoms which could have very serious consequences for some of the people that she infects.

And perhaps if the OP spent less time on the internet when she's at work, then her boss might be slightly more inclined to be happy with genuine sick leave.

AgentZigzag · 04/08/2011 12:59

'And perhaps if the OP spent less time on the internet when she's at work, then her boss might be slightly more inclined to be happy with genuine sick leave.'

That is quite possibly one of the most patronising and superior things I have ever read on MN. Seriously.

Sassybeast · 04/08/2011 13:26

Aww thanks Zigzag - am always delighted to have my superiority recognised

AgentZigzag · 04/08/2011 13:33

hehe, it's a pleasure sassy

Andrewofgg · 04/08/2011 13:50

You can't just expect unlimited time of for a family crisis, unless it's for your own, still dependant children. )

Not even then bubbles, not even then. Not unlimited.

Original poster

farnywarny · 04/08/2011 14:17

Sassybeast Much of my job involves the use of the internet and MN is open on a different tab whilst I work. I can multitask funnily enough

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 04/08/2011 14:21

Oh come on, farny, nobody's meant to be using MN at work, multitasking or not. If you can multitask, you could do two JOBS at the same time.

Mrsxstitch · 04/08/2011 14:53

We have the internet at work. Using something like MN at work would be instant suspension, investigation and disciplinary action for misuse. We have to justify each and every site we go on.

squeakytoy · 04/08/2011 14:59

Sassy makes a good point. Remembering OPs posts in the last few days, so far we have had, what to wear on a day out at the races, how put upon she was by hosting an impromptu party afterwards, what to do because she is unable to pay her rent, and didnt pay it all last month, what do to do because her cat is having kittens any day now, how to get a gazebo back from the ex's partner that she lent out, and today the shits...

Original poster

farnywarny · 04/08/2011 15:09

squeakytoy guess I am not allowed to post then? jeez

OP posts:

Original poster

farnywarny · 04/08/2011 15:13

oh and btw - how would you know if i was in work on the other days when I posted anyway?

OP posts:

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 04/08/2011 15:33

If you have part-time employment any time off you take outside of agreed entitlements may have more impact on your employers and your colleagues than if you were working full-time IYSWIM, partiicularly if that time off consists of you arriving at work and subsequently announcing that you have to leave due to X, Y, or Z event in your personal life.

However, presumably you have recovered sufficiently to remain at work and will not be facing dismissal or any loss of earnings today.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 04/08/2011 17:07

Op if you had holiday sanctioned what was the reason given for the warnings?

AgentZigzag · 04/08/2011 17:10

Don't disturb her LoveBeing!

Farney's working (or on the bog)

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/08/2011 17:12

I stand in awe of the OP's multitasking/multilifing skills. She has so much going on in her life it beggars belief.

AgentZigzag · 04/08/2011 17:18

Why the face hobnobs?

What are people posting about on MN if not shit (arf) going on in their lives?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 04/08/2011 17:20

Read Squeaky@s post.

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