Well, my first ever one of these... My DF is being a cock - monkey. WIBU to put this plan into action?

[LadyFlumpalot]

Ok, so my fiance is usually fantastic at, well, everything, but he has pissed me right off this morning.

DS (7 months) is teething so has gone from sleeping 10-11 hours a night to sleeping for 2 or 3 hours then waking and fussing. He isn't hungry, just can't settle IYSWIM?

He has also discovered his voice and when he wants someone to come play with him he will yell - not in distress, but just a very, very loud "where are you?" shout.

He was doing this at 5am and, being worried about the neighbours, I went to get him into our bed. He quietened down but was nowhere near sleep. About half 5 I offered to take DS downstairs so that DF could go back to sleep seeing as he has work today. DF declined, saying that he was getting up anyway as he was wide awake. I asked if he would take our son with him downstairs in that case. He said "No, I'm awake so you can be awake too." I asked him if he was serious and he said yes, very.

WIBU to now wake him everytime DS kicks off in the night and make him come with me to feed him/settle him? WIBU to wake him and keep him awake at 5:30 every morning when DS wakes up and I usually take him downstairs so DF can sleep some more?

Please note - I allow DF this concession to sleep in usually as he does the lions share of the housework/cooking - just because he's better at it than me!

Maybe talk to him about it first. The logic of your plan might drive home that he was being unreasonable. (I'm not sure I've ever been reasonable at 5am).

If this is a first offence, I'd let it go. I've never been good with the whole sleep deprivation thing and DH and I have had some horrible, irrational and selfish exchanges in the middle of the night whilst dealing with twins that never seemed to sleep at the same time! Chalk it up to tiredness.

I'd talk to him about it later -- sounds like maybe he was grumpy you brought DS into bed and kept him up, so gave a snarky response. If he's all apologetic later, forget about it.... if he is serious, definitely put the plan into action!

DH and I suffered horribly from sleep deprivation, it's awful to look back at some of the things we said to each other whilst in the throes of it

Thank you for your replies - in hindsight I think it probably just was a shirty comment. We have been very lucky so far in that DS sleeps brilliantly (so far!). Maybe we are just not used to these night-time disturbances!

my dh gets up at 5am with ds and leaves me in bed, i do the night wakes and he does the morning..

DH and I tend to get very shirty with each other if we're woken up multiple times in the night by DS. We have a very handy policy where whatever is said at night if we're both awake and grumpy isn't referred to again, as we both know that we don't mean what we say in that situation. It has saved us countless arguments!

Ask him if he breaks his leg will he be taking a hammer to yours too.

We do the same as biddysmama. Works very well. I think it's nice for the dad to get a chunk of time with his kid before he goes out to work for the day. And I get a nice couple of hours undisturbed sleep. So no, YANBU. He is.

I'd put it down to tired grumpiness on this occasion but if it keeps happiness then explain your possible plan & see what he says!

I know that I'm a completely revolting irrational grumpy cow when deprived of sleep

*keeps happening

Ok, have slept a tiny bit now so feel a bit readier to talk to him without bursting into tears or killing him!

Thank you all for your replies.