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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my mother was OTT and unfair

39 replies

BimboNo5 · 02/08/2011 16:26

Took the kids round to visit earlier. First thing she said to my 4 year old DS was 'Grandad told you he didnt want to see you until Friday after you were naughty not eating your tea'
I was at work last night so had no idea of said incident or wouldnt of bothered going round. She was clearly in an arse and kept moaning about DS and how he is so moody and naughty at times whilst constantly saying DD is so good and well behaved blah blah. Anyway DS drank out of his sisters drink and she went ape saying 'That was so NAUGHTY why did you do that?' in a really grumpy arse tone. I said dont go OTT it was a bit silly but not naughty as such and she started on one about how he is NAUGHTY and never gets any consequences (which is bull but I dont just whack him which she seems to think is the answer to everything).
This seems to be a long running thing and we have had words about it a lot, she just doesnt seem to like my son and im getting to the point where im wondering whether to not bother seeing her.

OP posts:

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 02/08/2011 18:29

Are you my sister? No lie my mum can be a bit like this. Having said that, DNephew can be a pain in the arse but this is made worse when they stay at my mum's coz she loses her temper over the stupidist most petty stuff. She's like it with DD and DNiece too but really has it in for DNephew these days.

Agree with others who say to get some distance between her and your family as it'll start to get your DS. Wish my sister would do this with our mum at times (I have to a degree if I'm honest) but she'd rather just moan to me about it...

Original poster

BimboNo5 · 02/08/2011 18:42

Ive forwarded the text to my Dad so he can think whatever he likes. Ive not replied and have no intention of replying and no intention of getting in touch tbh. She will miss out more than I will.

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/08/2011 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrjellykeepskidsquiet · 03/08/2011 15:21

I personally would tell her to stick it....let her get on with it.

Original poster

BimboNo5 · 03/08/2011 22:51

Im still so upset about this. My father basically text yesterday making excuses 'he was naughty last night and his behaviour wasnt acceptable, your mum is going to her old friends funeral etc' yet when I mention not wanting my son to be in their company its 'this has upset me im going to bed, the text is between you and her' in other words im not getting involved even though shes behaved like a shit.
I actually felt physically sick last night and woke up feeling so stressed.

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/08/2011 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

BimboNo5 · 03/08/2011 23:00

I hope so, I dont 'need' them as such as awful as that sounds, I feel heartbroken for my kids, the fact they cant just take me as I am. I was thinking about this earlier, they seem hellbent on undermining me as a parent. The other week for example, I had expressley told them after they mentioned letting my 6 year old have bubblegum that she was NOT to have it again. Later in the week DD says 'Grandad bought me some Hubba Bubba from the shop'. When I mentioned it to them it was 'oh you had it at her age(not even true), she was fine with it'
I actually feel like smashing my head off a brick wall the more I think about it.

OP posts:

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/08/2011 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag · 03/08/2011 23:47

Totally agree with SGMs lovely posts.

Could her friends death brought home her own mortality?

But then you'd think that would have made her want to pull you closer, not push you away.

Fucking families eh?

welshbyrd · 04/08/2011 09:19

Your poor son

Im a bit miffed that only one poster has pointed out the
"'Grandad told you he didnt want to see you until Friday after you were naughty not eating your tea'

That, never mind the other stuff, would have had me walking out of their house and thinking twice about ever returning. What a disgusting thing to say to a grandchild, and the fact he is only 4, makes it worse
You mother needs to learn unconditional love, your poor DS

Fenella1212 · 04/08/2011 10:52

Youre right to stay away. Telling a child they don't want to see them is so cruel. Poor little boy.

Did your Dad actually say that do you think, or is it something your Mum made up? If he did then he's as bad as her tbh.

fedupofnamechanging · 04/08/2011 11:24

I think you would be happier if you didn't see them. I don't think it's right to expose your children to people who say cruel things and behave like this. Your children deserve better and so do you. I think it was awful for your dad to say what he did about not seeing your child until Friday and your mum was way out of line all the way along.

Children need to know that they are loved unconditionally. There is no excuse to be unkind to a child and you will be doing your dc a huge service if you cut right back on when they see these people. I'd certainly never leave my dc in their 'care'.

Ormirian · 04/08/2011 11:30

Just read the text you received.

Vile! Stay well away.

Furious on your behalf.

Original poster

BimboNo5 · 04/08/2011 22:06

Thanks all for your support, ive had these kind of issues with my parents on and off for years. My mother in particular is a total judgemental control freak who is always pontificating how I should live, act, behave etc. My Dad seems to go along with it for an easy life. I just feel a bit gutted that ive had no call/text/email etc to say sorry or anything like that.

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