To call time on this 15 year friendship

[simplicity2000]

Back story - the usual, best friends in our early twenties, did everything together, lots of crazy evenings out, also including a very sobering not so nice experience which I got her through and was there for her, propping her up throughout.

She then moved to Oz with her now husband, we (DH and me) went out there twice, friendship still good. Despite the distance was always like yesterday when we did see each other again.

They had children and moved back here to our home town when her second was 2yrs. She had her second a matter of days before me having my first. So when she came back we saw each other a few times but not as much as i thought we would have having been so close prior. we spoke more when she was in Oz than we do now she is 15 mins around the corner!

Have started to think this way after her completely forgetting my b'day, forgetting my dd b'day despite us inviting both her children to her party 2 weeks prior which they turned down and has now forgotton my ds's 1st b'day. I appreciate others birthdays are not the priority in peoples lives but when it comes to us as friends we have never forgotton.

I don't think its a time issue as she is a SAHM with both children in school.

So the next time she sends the usual "whats new" 6 monthly text do I ignore and call time, as close as we were we have never done confrontation with each other. I feel these types of texts are just her being nosey rather than actual caring.

Simplicity, I have a relatively similar situation as I live near a family friend and assumed when I moved to the area that we would be meeting up more. In fact, this is not the case, one of the key reasons is that their children are in different schools to mine, so we don't see each other in the week (I am working) and on weekends, hers do football and mine do ballet and we only get Sundays with our partners.

I think I have just downgraded my expectations to a couple of meet-ups a year (often with other friends around) and the odd girly night out (which I enjoy a lot). I wouldn't feel the need to get rid of her in an active way, just mentally let it slide a bit for now. I think if it goes much more than a year without contact, though, you are right to feel a bit miffed if she lives in the same town.

Could she be depressed or finding life a struggle to keep up with, even if she doesn't admit it?

be honest - tell her you are hurt that she forgot birthdays, explain that you feel fogotten as you spent more @time@ talking when she was 11000 miles away. then give her the choice of whether she wants an equal friendship or not.

That way you will have put the ball in her court and will either get a text or the friendship will end.

it is possible she @needed@ you when she was in Au but now things are different, it is possible she is being thoughtless - give her the chance to decide whether she wants your friendship