to think she should have been better prepared for us to stay?

[mumof4sons]

Am on holiday in the US at the moment. My friend offered to let me stay with her during our time here as my mum's house is to small. We are here for four weeks.

Friend (M) had known for ages when we were coming. On the night of our arrival the rooms we were staying in weren't even clean and the beds weren't even made or in one room the beds were none existent. We also found out on the night of our arrival that someone else (J) was staying with her too. So we were dead tired and had to make beds, and mattresses brought up from the basement. I think I am sleeping in the bed on the sheets J had been sleeping in before our arrival and DS2 is sleeping on sheets previously occupied by M's DD.

Tonight I find out that S's DD needs her room back as she is going back to school in a weeks time, which means that DS2 has to move out of the room. (M's DD had been sharing a room with her DB). Now DS4 will have to move in with me. (DS1 has been staying with my mum because he wouldn't cope with M's house - I don't have words to describe the chaos/mess this house is in - M doesn't appear to do any housework or throw anything away. There are still baby clothes with price tags on that she bought for her DCs lying around. The DCs are 14 and 10.

AIBU to want to find somewhere else to stay? AIBU to think that M could have made an effort to tidy up just a bit? Or am I an ungrateful friend?

[PicaK]

Why do you think the sheets were used? Perhaps she just hadn't ironed them - I never do.

Four of you for four weeks is beyond generous tbh.

[mumof4sons]

I guess I am being ungrateful. M and I go way back - we shared an apartment when at university. M and I have differing views on cleanliness. I now also think we have grown apart and should leave the friendship to cards at Christmas and a few facebook posts.

As for people saying I should muck in with housework, I have and would but the house is in such a state that anything I did wouldn't make a dent in it. I have been washing our dishes up and have shopped for groceries. I would unload the dishwashers (2), but there doesn't appear to be a defined space for the clean dishes to go in. There is laundry every where and I have folded what I have thought to be clean. I am doing my laundry at my mums. I am not hanging around M's house for her to entertain us or feed us, as I don't want to inconvenience her any more than I have already.

I think I will look for somewhere else to go. I will politely say my goodbyes and leave a small token of my affection (and some money).