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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Sisterhood Thing - AIBU to think it's a bit weird?

50 replies

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:09

Specifically, the sisterhood thing that says that you should never be disparaging about a fellow woman.

However, my friend just made a slightly catty Facebook status about a female celeb's fashions. A few of her friends had a little chuckle, including me, then one of her other friend steamed in berating us all for being unsisterly and asking us why we needed men to put us down when we do a perfectly good job ourselves. Blush

I must admit, I am a bit Hmm about this sisterhood thing i.e you must never be negative about another woman, because YOU are a woman too. The example I just posted about is a bad one because it's shallow/superficial, but I've seen women chided for, say, moaning about a colleague's conduct at work. Surely, we aren't expected to stick together because we are "all women together"? I find it a bit weird and patronising, like we can't judge women on their individual merits but rather blindy applaud them merely because they own a vagina.

I am willing to concede that I might be wrong, though. I am just wondering where the rule ceases to rule, IYSWIM? Are we allowed to be rude about the cat-in-bin lady because, like, she is a lady?

OP posts:
BitzyVonMuffling · 01/08/2011 19:11

There is no sisterhod

limitedperiodonly · 01/08/2011 19:12

Zara Phillips has big arms. Very handy when controlling half a ton of horse but not so useful in that wedding dress.

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:13

Well, yes, limitedperiod.

Was there no-one to be sisterly and tell her that she needed sleeves? Sad for her.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 01/08/2011 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

janewa · 01/08/2011 19:15

YANBU its complete nonsense

limitedperiodonly · 01/08/2011 19:15

She probably thought she'd be okay because she'd invited Beatrice and HugeKnees.

catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 19:19

YANBU - I hate it. Just because someone is female doesn't mean I have to like them / support them / protect them. Bleurrrgh.

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:20

Beatrice looked really nice, I thought. Eugenie looked like she'd been raiding the local Sue Ryder shop for her outfit.

OP posts:
HowlingBitch · 01/08/2011 19:22

I find it a bit weird and patronising, like we can't judge women on their individual merits but rather blindy applaud them merely because they own a vagina.

Here, here. YANBU

squeakytoy · 01/08/2011 19:23

I think Eugenie took her Auntie Anne with her too Grin

HowlingBitch · 01/08/2011 19:23

Fuckity, fuck, fuck... Bugger it you know what I was aiming at.

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:25

Anne has looked terrible since birth. I reckon she was born with that weird pouffey hair. She reminds me of a put-upon seaside mule.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 19:28

I do like Zara though. But I think thats just because I am horsey (not to look at mind). :)

FreudianSlipper · 01/08/2011 19:30

nothing wring with a good bitch about soem celeb that you are never going to meet, they are never going to hear your opinion and it is not going to impact in their life if you enjoy it

i do dislike how women turn against each other in some situations, how some put down other women especially those that need it the least (ie. domestic violence) or are constantly shouting out what about the menz is no one thinking of the menz crap that some come out with but when women coe together to support one another its amazing the difference they can make

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:33

Joking aside, I do agree with you FreudianSlipper. I do consider myself a woman's woman (much prefer women to men tbh) but I don't think that that should impede on my hobby of being critical of famous women's outfits. Wink

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 19:35

I am never going to base they way I treat someone or the level of respect or support I give them on what sex they are. It's all about actions for me. If you are fecking idiot I will tell you male or female and I don't see why I would be expected to make any allowances for the possesion of a vagina. I don't feel any greater empathy or solidarity to other women than I do to other men. They are all other people. Just because I share a gender with someone doesn't mean I owe them anything or vice versa.

limitedperiodonly · 01/08/2011 19:44

True. I get affronted by men who say: 'oh, you're not like the average woman.' What would that be then?

Neither do I like women who buy into rape myths.

Still feel this makes it okay to pronounce on unwise fashion choices.

btw, did you see Dave and Sam in Tuscany?

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:47

Dave looked fucking awful. WTF were those work shoes all about? With no socks? Black trousers in the Italian heat. I bet his bawbag area stunk like a tramp's hat.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 19:47

Oh unwise fashion choices are fair game. Possibly even mandatory to comment.

I do not like Sam's jumpsuit. I think jumpsuits are ill advised anyway and risk camel toe.

LRDTheFeministDragon · 01/08/2011 19:50

As Caitlin MOran's new book puts it, feminism is not Buddhism and it is actually ok to be bitchy without 'betraying the sisterhood'.

There are times when it's crappy to make a bitchy comment. These times, however, have very little to do with any 'sisterhood'. IMO.

CupcakesandTwunting · 01/08/2011 19:53

I was trying to remember if Goddess Moran had uttered any pearls on being bitchy wrt feminism and I couldn't remember so thank you LRD. :)

I've got a jumpsuit. I think I look OK in it I did buy a size up to counter any risk of making grown men cry with my camel toe. Wink

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 19:53

Surely feminism is simply the idea that women should have equal rights socially, politically, financially, culturally etc? Can't see any reasons why that would preclude being bitched about if you are in the public eye and have fashion disaster.

catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 19:54

As long there is no camel toe I am sure it looks great. They make me look like a clown so I am just bitter :)

limitedperiodonly · 01/08/2011 20:03

Sam is called Droopy Drawers in this house. You don't want to know what we call Dave.

redexpat · 01/08/2011 20:11

I think the point the FB friend was making is two fold. One we somehow never find ourselves discussing how male tv presenters/other slebs look. Two is that judging other women on their appearance (and commenting) makes it ok for men to do the same.