To vent...

[constantlytired]

Hoping that by venting my spleen, i will feel better, so here goes.....

• To Mr Subaru : You are a 50 odd year old balding fat man with a car that is more suited to a 20 year old. Please note that i can only go as fast as the car in front of me, so sitting on my tail for my whole journey got you nowhere.

• To the old hag who was walking about the supermarket saying very loudly 'hurry up, you're doing my head in you little bitch' to a small child, i hope you are ashamed of yourself, that is no way to speak to a child about 5 or 6.

• To my neighbours who think its ok to have a party in their back garden till 7 in the morning, you are ultimately responsible for my DD to come into my room at about 2 and ask what the word 'Fuck' means and for all of us getting no sleep because of your ridiculous excuse for music blaring through the walls.

Thats better, as you were.

Hahah, I hope that made you feel better. Can I join in?

• To my baby: You can come now. I know my uterus is ridiculously comfortable, but I'm sure you'll be much happier in the outside world. It's nice here. We have lots of lovely clothes and a very comfy looking cot all waiting for you. I really don't want the hospital to have to pump me full or drugs or cut me open, so if you could just find your own way out in the next few days, that would be lovely.

• To the woman who cut me up in the car park: you were driving in the wrong direction, not me. It should have been you who reversed to get out of my way. I was being nice by moving for you. I did not deserve the evil looks you gave me.

• To the man at the material shop, and the staff at Ikea and at Argos: you are all lovely. Thank you for carrying my stuff to the car.

My turn, my turn!

• To the little scrotes that set fire to the field and fence next to my house on Saturday and just now. You are scum. And yes, I did hear you on Saturday saying "I can't believe we did this, cool". Rest assured your names have been passed on to the police.

My turn

• To my EX P- One csa payment in 2 years does not account for father of the year award as you seem to think it does

me next, me next

-to the staff at hospital today- No I am not hormonal because I am pregnant I just do not appreciate waiting around with two children for two hours while four of you sit in the office with the door open discussing xxxx party at the weekend. Especially as two of you then took only two minutes to show me how to inject the bloody Fragmin. ahhhhhhhhh feel sooooo much better now

I was hoping by venting i would experience an almost cathartic moment, but if truth be told, its only made me think of all the other things thats have annoyed me this week and I didn't write down . I was just about to go and perform a home dye job, but thinking twice about it now, as if its in keeping with the rest of this week, my hair will be green by 9 o'clock .

My contribution -

To my mum - don't throw your toys out of your pram just because I said you can't bring your new bloke to the hospital after my CSection, whom I barely know and is preceded by a long list of men you have been out with who were nothing short of nutters. And stop leading such a chaotic lifestyle full of booze, fags and sex. I am not your parent you should be mine.

To everybody who says it's ten times harder having two children - you can fuck off.

To my infection- I didn't want you, I'm now very scared about you, your making it too painful to move and walk properly and making me feel like shit. And if you fuck up my breastfeeding I will be really fucking unimpressed.

"To my mum - don't throw your toys out of your pram just because I said you can't bring your new bloke to the hospital after my CSection, whom I barely know and is preceded by a long list of men you have been out with who were nothing short of nutters. And stop leading such a chaotic lifestyle full of booze, fags and sex. I am not your parent you should be mine"

THAT IS MY MOTHER! (minus the booze,fags and sex)

My vent:

Mother dearest, you do know that the entire world doesn't dance to the beat of YOUR drum alone? You do know that don't you? You know if I don't answer the 'phone the first time you ring, that I'm not doing it to upset/avoid you? I am probably busy doing something else. I can ring you back. The world won't stop if I don't answer my 'phone immediately. We aren't all surgically attached to our 'phones. Oh and my brother is a using, narcissitic fuckwit who'll never learn to clean up his own shit if mummy insists on doing it for him. You have bred a manchild who will be of no use to any woman in the future. He is a selfish prick and you could do worse than temporarily disown him until he has grown up a bit and doesn't think that calling you a cunt over the 'phone is an acceptable bit of behaviour. And I think that you really need to read up on enabling behaviour. Also, please stop surrounding yourself with drama queens who do little but add fuel to your drama fires. You are 53, time for some nice, calm friends I think, not immature twunts who feed off misery.

God, that was like draining a painful boil.