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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit fed up with dh

18 replies

Dawnybabe · 01/08/2011 13:30

He's had a few days off work recently and had lots of fishing trips, sometimes overnight, so I don't think he's desperately in need of some time to himself.

So why, when he promised to take the girls out today, has he not come back yet from his fishing trip yesterday? He said he would stay overnight, fair enough, and come back in the morning to take us all out for the day. I've got most of my life to take them out on my own, and they've been looking forward to daddy taking them out.

AIBU to want to yell at him when he does roll up? Barring some random accident I assume he's still sitting on his arse in the sun waiting for a fish to bite. I'm sitting here contemplating whether to just piss off out with the girls by myself.

OP posts:

MorelliOrRanger · 01/08/2011 13:32

Call him / text him where is he, as he's promised to take you out and the day is half over already.

If no response - go out yourself with your girls.

That is disappointing for you so YANBU

Allinabinbag · 01/08/2011 13:35

Agreed best plan is to text/call him, say 'are you coming out today' and if not go out by yourself. And then have a go at him later. There's no point spoiling your day now with the children, but there's every point in being annoyed about this flakiness.

I say this with sympathy, as this is exactly what happened on my weekend and I was jolly annoyed. We didn't have the same plan in our heads at all for the day. We did eventually get it together to go out from about 2ish onwards- could a family dinner save the day?

aliceliddell · 01/08/2011 13:37

Did he forget he promised his children?

YouDoTheMath · 01/08/2011 13:45

I would make sure he's OK first...

manicbmc · 01/08/2011 13:50

Call him. If he doesn't turn up take your kids out yourself. Then ebay his fishing equipment.

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 01/08/2011 14:12

I gave in and rang him.

He forgot he'd even said anything about going out today. He thought we were going out tomorrow. Even after I said to him yesterday 'if we're going out tomorrow you'll need to be back'. He quite often goes out fishing after work and comes home the next morning by about 7am to go to work so it's not like he can't do it.

Where I think I went wrong was assuming that because I was talking to him face to face that he was actually listening to me. I am getting a bit fed up of him pissing me about like this. I even mentioned it to his mum when she rang this morning and she just said 'oh they do get a bit lost in their fishing don't they?' but she's had a lifetime of his dad being exactly the same so she just puts up with it.

I guess I'm used to him operating on his own timescale but now the girls are old enough to understand that daddy said he'd come home and daddy hasn't turned up, I feel sorry for them.

He said he'd be home for tea. He can watch us eating it then cos he's not getting any! And I'm doing lasagne, which is one of his favourites. Tough!

OP posts:

milkshakejake · 01/08/2011 14:15

YANBU - he is being selfish. When do YOU get to go away for nights on your own and all day the next day? Why do dads get away with this so often? I would tell him that his daughters were very disappointed and not to make promises to children that he can't keep.

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 01/08/2011 14:30

You're right there jake. I have said in the past that I don't get days off. I'm lucky if I can do the food shop on my own.

I tell a lie, I had a day off in April. I went shopping in the city and sat outside a cafe watching the Grand National on a big screen, sipping tea and being very child-free and civilised.

Don't think I've had a day to myself since.....

OP posts:

mamas12 · 01/08/2011 14:35

Why are you making tea?
I would tell him he is taking you out for tea to spoil youall and make it up to you a little then I would get up and go out on my own for a break tomorrow and when he askes when you're coming back tell him you don't know and when you do you'll let him know then ok.

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 01/08/2011 15:03

So tempted....

Should I ring him back and say 'be home by X time to take us all out for tea'?

OP posts:

mamas12 · 01/08/2011 15:12

Yes defo do it do it now!

TheOriginalFAB · 01/08/2011 15:15

Not making him any tea is a bit childish.

He has let his children down and he needs to apologise. No need to not cook for him when you are cooking for everyone else anyway.

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 01/08/2011 15:22

Well yes I don't think I could be mean enough to eat the tea in front of him.

Just need to think of somewhere to go now. We live out in the sticks, all the pubs are probably shut by now.

OP posts:

mamas12 · 01/08/2011 15:41

I'm sure you can think of somewhere to drive to where you can have a nice glass of wine because he will be driving of course.
Go on bloody hell it's all your holiday too you know and the girls deserve to spend face to face time with their dad across a table going out - twill be fun!

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 01/08/2011 16:07

Rang him and said 'be home in the next hour, you're taking us to the beach!' We can eat at the pier cafe and take a nice stroll down the beach. It's a lovely time of day, it's not too hot now and hopefully most of the tourists will have gone! [pleased with myself emoticon]

OP posts:

mamas12 · 01/08/2011 21:06

I hope you've had a good time as a family and then to go somewhere on your own tomorrow for your me time.

Original poster

Dawnybabe · 02/08/2011 00:22

We did have a nice time mamas, thank you.

OP posts:

mamas12 · 02/08/2011 19:57

{grin}

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