To ask if you have problems with your neighbours

[AnotherJaffaCake]

How do you feel when you get inside your own home? Do you feel safe and secure and laugh it off in the knowledge that they are sad gits with nothing else to do with their time? Or do you still feel shaky and wonder whether life is too short for this kind of stress and think about moving house?

We're in two minds what to do for the best. We've only been in our house since spring last year and have had to put up with numerous problems with our neighbours on one side who are just plain nasty and thuggish.

Our dilemma is - do we put up with it for now and move when we've got some money together to buy something nice, off an estate with our own access and driveway or do we say enough's enough and get the hell out before the stress kills us.

We have lovely neighbours, but in our previous house we had other problems that made our lives hell. It wasn't a neighbour dispute, it was various anti-social behaviours and just general horridness. I totally recognise the feeling of being shaky and, in my case, quite terrified some nights. It was awful. We lasted just over 2 years. On the day we moved we drove down the road, away from the house, with tears of happiness rolling down our faces! It was liberating being in our home and not feeling scared. We used to drive back from holidays/days out/trips to the shops even with churning stomachs at the thought of what might greet us. The stress of what you're going through - with no safe place to get away from it (which is what your home is supposed to be) is awful. We moved to a smaller house in a nicer area and haven't regretted it for a single second. I really hope you find the solution.

Neighbours either side are fine. I can't say I have anything like the problems some people on here and elsewhere have but unfortunately our neighbours behind are selfish twats who removed some trees recently so they stare straight into our garden now and I hate it. I honestly wouldn't mind if they had been considerate about our loss of privacy but they have a security light which shines into my windows all night and they regularly have blaring music & lots of shouting just when my kids are just trying to get to sleep. He also enjoys revving his cars and motorbikes up all day and night. Obviously all things we will live with rather than making an issue of but I would LOVE them to move!!

Also I quite agree with you OP about how developers create these problems at times - so many people in a small space is bound to cause problems when you have anyone who is inconsiderate!

Our old neighbours were thick, rough chavs. None of them worked, they smoked drugs in the garden and lived noisy chaotic lives - rough homeless type people would call in at all hours and I used to dread the summer as they would congregate in their garden and in the front of the house and play loud garage music. Their conversation was staggering in its inanity, every other word a swearword. They had small children who we rarely saw. Think Jeremy Kyle show we eventually worked out they were dealing drugs. It was so sad as we lived in a lovely flat surrounded by lots of diverse people yet all quiet and thoughtful except for this lot. We barely heard any of the other tenants. The grim family also had a big staffordshire terrier type dog that would leap the fence and shit in our garden not to mention terrify me and baby dd.

Now moved to a larger house in a less "mixed" area. Our neighbours a recently retired paedatrician and his wife. Heaven. Now we hear polite, gentle conversations about what they plan to do with their garden. I have UTMOST sympathy for anyone with dreadful neighbours it destroys the peace you have in your own house and even when it is quiet you dread the next bout.

We had fairly low level stuff from a neighbour when we moved into a nice leafy area. Initially we tried to compromise but it escalated and got ridiculous. So we ended up being firm but polite in the end and she has massively backed off.

There was a time though when I felt really upset by it all and really did want to move - we just didn't have that option. I think it depends on how bad it is really.