AIBU to feel awful about reporting neighbour to NSPCC?

[redandblack]

Family moved into our road recently and have been a bit of a problem with two older kids (about 6 and 7) spitting, swearing like troopers, kicking and punching our kids - they all play out a lot as it is a dead end street and lots of families. They have terrible tempers and are really so violent that a nice road has turned into a battle zone! They often don't go to school and there is nothing wrong with them, they are out playing.

Trouble really is with the youngest though who I am guessing is about 18 mths and who is not supervised properly by mum. She is often left playing in back garden by herself and will regularly escape into neighbours garden through a hole in the fence then there is a bit of a panic when nobody can find her. She also sometimes opens front door and gets out into the street alone. Another neighbour has offered to fix the fence for them but the family did take them up on the offer and it has been mentioned to the mum how dangerous it is for the little one to be escaping like this and suggested putting a chain on the door or something but the mum has not done anything about it.

Today the girl must have got out through the front door again, the mum was having a BBQ in the back garden with her new boyfriend. The little girl ended walking down the end of the street and into the next one which is a very busy main road. Two men driving past spotted her, stopped and picked her up and started knocking on lots of doors to try and find her home. Eventually they got to our road where another neighbour recognised her and led them back to the house. When they knocked on the door the mum had still not even realised the little girl had gone.

I phoned the NSPCC as I am so worried this is going to happen again and the little girl is going to get hurt. I feel kind of awful for having reported this neighbour but I'm hoping it was the right thing to do...

I had to do a similar thing with my neighbours, looked into my garden and found young child approx 15m old in my garden, brother and sister aprox age 4 and 6 on street outside looking for her. Returned child to mother. 20 min later child in my garden again, returned her again. half hour later child sitting in the middle of the road, a side road so not very busy but used by boy racers. Mother simply yelled at 4 and 6 yr olds and said they should take better care of her. I made an anon referral to social services.
Not nice to do but felt that something should be done.

One 'escape' could be seen as unfortunate accident.But the mother doesn't seem as though she is putting anything in place to prevent the same thing happening again and again

you did absolutely the right thing. The child could have walked into the road and been killed.

Seems I am not the only one to report this yesterday but opinion is divided as to if we did the right thing, been told we shouldn't have interfered as it wasn't that bad and told we did had to do something. I'd rather be wrong to have jumped the gun instead of leaving it too late and regret not having tried to help. Woman I spoke to at NSPCC was lovely, I just explained the situation and asked her what I should do. She considered it a real problem and asked for more details so she could pass it on to local social services, hoping the result is that the mum will be offered some extra support and a bit of a wake up call.

Waiting for fall out when they come knocking though as I think the mum will guess who was likely to have been the ones who called social services...

Who is saying you shouldn't have interfered RAB?

If the mum does come round to yours shouting the odds, don't let her turn it round into making you responsible for SS paying her a visit.

It's a shame, the Mum does seem to really love the kids but she is just clueless and she can't handle the boys or keep the girl safe. A couple of people said we shouldn't have reported it as kids escape sometimes...once or twice is an accident but a couple of times a week is just not right, she is just a little tot too.

I understand how you feel but I think your judgement was correct. You'd feel a lot worse if the next time the smallest wandered off she was hit by a car.

They are professionals. You've handed the rest of the judgements to them, so let them decide now. You did the right thing and didn't take it lightly. Well done.

Better to feel like you have over reacted (not that I think you did, at all) than to always wonder if your referral could have prompted changes that stopped something terrible happening.

No one likes to be put in a position where they have to report something that isn't right, simply because no one likes to see such things going on, but it is far better to know that you have done the right thing and hopefully started off a process that will make things better for all concerned in the future.

Totally aside but I burst into tears one morning because I woke up to find a man standing desperately ringing my doorbell with my 2YO son in his pj's in arms because he had gotten up and wandered out the door which his dad had forgotten to lock on his way out to work... we never did that again but I was convinced the man was going to phone SS.

Sometimes kids do wander BUT in this case I think she is being allowed to roam around and you definately did the right thing OP, well done :)

Her being reported to the NSPCC is the least of her problems. Her baby could have been killed toddling about, unsupervised, on the street.

mamdivaz - if yoyu had been referred to social services they would have investigated, found that all is well and you would never have heard of it. You are not the same as a mother who is unable [whether through ignorance or what ever] to look after the kiddies.

We are all resposible for the kids in our community.

It's a great shame that the heroes who saw the little girl, and stopped their car for her, didn't simply call the police instead of knocking on doors.

Of course you've done the right thing; if the mother confronts you, tell her to air her complaint on mumsnet.

You seem to have a bit of an agenda DWilson1918

Not brave enough to start a thread of his own though

I know this isn’t popular but hey

ZOMBIE!!!!