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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to still be annoyed about this, given that she hasnt apologised

38 replies

knittynoodle · 31/07/2011 22:16

SIL took DS, 7mo, in a forward facing car seat last week. Hes 7mo but is very very small, 16lbs, way too small for a forward facing seat and its my belief she just couldnt be arsed to change the seats over. I was ill and she was taking my DS to his nans.

Im annoyed frankly and when I found out I went mad at DP (who knew he was in the FF seat) and I feel so Angry because their justification was that they didnt know - despite her son being 18mo himself. Its your business to know if you have a child and a car! DP is still in the dog house because I hold a grudge. Blush

Anyway, shes now got MIL to have a talk with me about it, as apparently "the seat was fine as it was a combination seat and you can use them either way" and I "needed to be corrected".

Im still fuming because she blatantly made a mistake but I wasnt going to say anything until MIL 'corrected' me. The weight limits are written on the seat. Shes got her own child and one on the way so should know, and now shes making out like I'M the one who is stupid. I just think if you make a mistake you should apologise, not try to wiggle out of it. ANYWAY...

AIBU to write her a brief, non agressive message just putting her right, and including a link to the correct regulations. Im not likely to see her and the thought her own new baby could be put into the FF seat worries me even more!

OP posts:
Original poster
knittynoodle · 31/07/2011 23:48

Anyway I sent this :

Your mum spoke to me today about the car seat, and was under the impression that the seat you used was ok for DS. Just to be clear, babies under 22lbs MUST be in a rear facing position. Even if the seat can be used both ways, the seat must be facing the back. Further information can be found here www.childcarseats.org.uk/types/index.htm

I dont want to argue about anything or make it a big deal, but the car seat was not the correct one. Thats all x

OP posts:
HeatherSmall · 31/07/2011 23:48

She is embarrassed because she knows she is in the wrong, my mother does exactly the same when she knows she's dropped a bollock tries to say I'm over protective etc.

MummyAnnabella · 31/07/2011 23:51

It was a one off
Am sure it won't be done again
You need to chill out now and let it go
And yes she and mil helping you out is relevant. They don't have to
Also 7 months and not 7 weeks old
You've had your rant now get over it and do not email anyone

When you are on 2nd or3rd child you may even look back and see you are over reacting a tad.

StrikeUpTheBand · 01/08/2011 00:03

I agree with you - YANBU.

7 months is still way too young to be forward facing. The law ssys that under 3s should be in a seat suitable for their age and weight when in a car every time (over 3 I believe you can in an emergency not, but it has to be an actual emergency). That wasn't the correct seat position by any stretch. At the very least she should have made the seat rear-facing since this was possible from what you say.

However, it is possible that she didn't realise as there is a lot of ignorance out there, and is now trying to justify it.

I would be also livid with yr DP if I were you.

Mammie81 · 01/08/2011 00:04

Mummyannabella, OP's SIL isnt even sorry and doesnt accept what she did was wrong. She admits she doesnt know the regulations and probably doesnt care!

Your post is offensive to anyone who has had a child injured in an accident.

blackeyedsusan · 01/08/2011 00:06

yanu to be really cross with dp and sil for putting baby in the wrong car seat. what you do about it now is a different matter. if you email you could be seen as petty and prolonging the argument. perhaps you could add a warning that she could get fined if she is caught and so you are doing her a favour. (though you can transport children in emergencies without a car seat I think. possibly in taxis too.)

StewieGriffinsMom · 01/08/2011 00:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DioneTheDiabolist · 01/08/2011 00:10

It's your DP who is at fault here. I know that legally the driver of the car is responsible, but my child's safety is my responsibility. If I don't like what the driver is suggesting, he doesn't travel with them. Your DS was your DP's responsibility and as he didn't object, your SIL must have thought it was OK.

Is this all about the FF car seat or do you have other problems with your SIL?

Original poster
knittynoodle · 01/08/2011 00:10

Well Ive sent it now. I wont take it any further after this, because I agree, thats petty. I just resented that she was making me out to be stupid and had to put her right especially if she is taking a newborn in this seat and has no idea of whats legal and what isnt. Ive been told by a mutual friend that her FB statuses this week have been about how stupid I am. Shock Its over now.

OP posts:
Original poster
knittynoodle · 01/08/2011 00:12

I do have other problems with her. She was sacked from a job for stealing and my best friend works there and knew the allegations to be true. She was wary of me from the start of my relationship with DP because of this.

OP posts:
Original poster
knittynoodle · 01/08/2011 00:16

In fact her first words to me were "Whatever xxx has told you about me is a lie"

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 01/08/2011 00:55

She was probably embarrassed and ashamed and maybe she hadn't told her family and was afraid that you would. I get the feeling that you really don't like her.

WhereYouLeftIt · 01/08/2011 01:15

Frankly, I'd have ripped the MIL's head off for trying to correct me. And I'd then have ripped her head off again for raising such a stupid nasty daughter and a spineless son.

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