to be seriously wound up by my neighbour

[PrincessScrumpy]

We have a very small front garden with plants in it. A couple were affected by the cold winter but still had some green so we were hoping they would pick up, we need to put some more bark chippings down (something I told my neighbour 2 weeks ago that we would do once we returned from hols), and there were 2 dandelion weeds growing. Basically it needed a little tidy but nothing major.

My neighbour is moving abroad in October and is planning to rent her house out. An estate agent told her that she owns part of the front garden as it lines up with her house. Our deeds are vague regarding this but as it's only 2 feet by less than a foot that she owns I'm not bothered. She put weed killer on our dandelions (which didn't kill them but she told me afterwards) and slug pellets to kill the snails which left about 10 empty shells (all on her newly claimed land). She thinks the snails (which are all up the road of more than 100 houses) are coming from our plants and they are getting under her front door! There are lots of snails round here but her door can't fit if a snail fits under it!

On returning from holiday last night she arrived on the doorstep at 9pm to tell me how messy the garden is and how it will stop people wanting to rent her house. I told her that we planned to do it next weekend but just got back and in laws are still visiting. (it really didn't look hideous at all and I wasn't bothered by the 2 dandelions as dd (3) loves them).

This morning I saw her and said hello in an attempt to avoid bad feeling and she started repeating the conversation and reminding me how she helpfully picked up the empty snail shells - that she had killed with pellets she put down. At 32weeks pg with twins I hadn't picked them up as bending to put shoes on is hard enough.

We are quiet neighbours (as she's always told me), don't have parties etc but this stress is not what I need with the twins, plus dh has a broken hand so no, gardening is not at the top of our list. dh commutes 2 hours a day for work so fine, the garden doesn't look tip top but it's better than many I've seen.

Sorry for mamouth essay. Basically she wants us to gravel the area (like she has in the back and front). She said if she was staying she'd put a little boarder along and gravel her bit and I said I'm happy for her to do this, but she then said "oh, but it's money isn't it?"

She's making us feel like the "chavvy family bringing the neighbourhood down" I barely slept last night going over in my head her rudeness and how upset I was by her manor.

Really I want to know if I'm in the wrong - please be gentle x

[Mitmoo]

I put a fence up on my boundary line to keep my then 2 year old safe. Then the solicitors letters started for me to pull it down because if they had driven over it for 15 years I would lose all rights to that land forever, unless I could put a full year gap in between it. Fortunately a part of their property meant they were claiming to have driven over a 10" sheer verticle drop in a Peugeot!

It was a total nightmare!!

Get the gnomes I agree fab idea.

[carocaro]

Give me her number and I will call her and tell her to fuck right off.

Stupid petty silly cow. If she wants to gravel the area she can do it herself.

People like this who want everyone to bow down to their stupid little crap need a short sharp shock back into reality.

Thank the Lord she is sodding off abroad, as far away as possible I hope.

G'nomes, a soiled nappy, a wheelie bin and some cans of Tennats and a rusty shopping trolly!

[olibeansmummy]

I'd say that you can't possibly touch the garden now that she's out weed killer and slug repellant on it as it could be a danger to your unborn children if you ingest any. And whatever you do, don't put gravel down or you'll have cats pooing in it forever more

[StoopidBint]

I love the gnome idea or you could plant up an old toilet with bedding flowers!

Ignore the mad woman and enjoy your babies.

[PaperView]

Draw up plans of what your ideal front garden would look like and give them to her and tell her to feel free to do it for you

[RevoltingPeasant]

I'd be furious if anyone put slug pellets or weed killer on my garden - they are highly toxic. Also, how the flippety flip are snails getting under her door? Has she ever seen a snail??? Most of them would require a good half inch or more of space under the door. Tell her to get her front door rehung.

(Also, it is quite obviously slugs, not snails.....)

Yes, gnomes and other tacky creatures. Pref holding up little ceramic signs saying 'Welcome to our nest of joy' or similar. And then maybe one totally incongruous 'classical' statue in the middle, just for balance.

Or, you could just manure your garden heavily - looking after it, doncha know!

[PirateDinosaur]

We could all chip in and send you a gnome each...?

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

The Pound Shop sells loads of lovely tacky garden stuff.

Ceramic wellies
wind chimes
coloured solar lights
twirly plastic things
Gnomes
Welcome to my Garden signs
Fairies

I am not being snobby, I have most of this stuff in my garden

She will hate it though

Mwah ha ha haaaa

[PirateDinosaur]

How is the tower block next door going, MrsDV

[SoupDragon]

oh, I'd happily send you some snails.... I have a box of Poundland pottery ones in my garage at the moment! They are smiling - you could line them all up to smile at her as she leaves her house.

[RustyBear]

I used to have 17 concrete gnomes dating from the 30's, which we somehow managed to acquire when MIL moved house. I could have sent them to you, but DH finally cracked last winter and sent them all to gnome heaven the tip.

By the way, if rights to gardens follow the line of the house, we own our next door neighbour's entire front garden and the south-west corner of their house. And if you include the width of our side extension, we could lay claim to a goodly swathe of next-door-but-one's frontage too...

[AnotherJaffaCake]

I'm sure I've seen a rude gnome in a garden centre somewhere recently, bending over with its trousers down - you could have a whole line of those with bums facing her :o

[InstantAtom]

This is what you need :o

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

pirate it is still there and getting bigger.

Bastards

Thanks for asking

[breatheslowly]

Some of our old neighbours had a little statue of two pigs shagging in their front garden. Perhaps a collection lots of different of animals doing it doggy style would add a touch of class to your neighbourhood.

[HeadfirstForHalos]

Nooo, this one

www.gardensite.co.uk/Henri_Toscano_The_Zombie_of_Montclaire_Moors_Sculpture.htm

[limitedperiodonly]

Does she realise every local cat will use her gravel for a litter tray?

[Spuddybean]

I would also question whether that part of the garden is hers, just as she has access rights it does not make it hers. (the estate agents told our new neighbours that they had off street parking allocation on our drive to encourage a sale. They bought it then started parking outside our house, when we challenged it they told us what they had been told and we had to disappoint them - altho they still argued we should let them park on our drive as it wasn't fair on them they had THOUGHT it was theirs )

Also if she sells/rents it as owning part of the garden the new neighbours may really, genuinely cover 'their side' in gnomes!

You should defo add windmills for the gnomes to live in too!

[PrincessScrumpy]

I'm so glad you're all on my side - I was worried I was being unreasonable.

I've spoken to my other neighbour and she is checking her deeds as it's the same the other side but I figured that that neighbour (the lovely one who carried my shopping in for me today) owned it. Turns out my evil neighbour has had a go at her too for having 2 labradors (lovely ones that rarely bark that she walks twice a day) in her 3 bed house - she clearly likes to interfer in how others choose to live if it doesn't fit her perfect picture.

Oh and she also said it's a shame I'm having ID girls as I already have a girl, boys would be better. I just want my twins to be healthy and am delighted to be blessed with two babies.

DH has cleared the weeds and pulled up the lining that was showing, and to make a point he has cleared "her area" so it's just mud there now. We still need to put chippings down but that can wait a week or two.

She arrived around this morning while I was on the phone to my mum and I asked mum to stay on the phone so she could hear the conversation - unfortunately the neighbour realised I was on the phone and said "Oh, I'll pop back later as I'm just heading out." She hasn't come back yet and I'm hoping she'll wait until dh is home so he can speak to her. I just don't want to bite my tongue anymore but dh, who is usually the most patient man ever, is furious as he's super protective of me right now. He only did the garden for my sake and stress levels - it wasn't for her.