Saturday morning - my once a week luxury lie-in... I come down at 9 to find baby DD (10 months) with a mysterious orangey stain covering the middle of her sleepsuit, and a pungent smell of pickle in the air. DH quickly admits that there has been an incident with the (very hot) lime pickle accidentally left on the coffee table after last night's take-away. Apparently she only ate a little bit (!) and seems fine. I swallow my true feelings, laugh and go to make up her bottle. Kitchen is a pit - cereal and banana all over the floor - no attempt has been made to clear up after DDs' breakfast. Dishwasher is still full with clean dishes (I turned it on last night). I empty dishwasher, clear up mess, give DD1 a bit of extra breakfast, make bottle for DD2, change her sleepsuit and go to put her down for a sleep.
When I come back down all ready for my pre-agreed couple of hours off to shop for family birthday presents DH goes off to get dressed. 30 minutes later he hasn't come back. I go and check on him - asleep face down on the bed. I wake him and remind him I'm going out. 20 minutes later I go back - he's still asleep. I wake him again, ask if he's ill, should I change my plans? No, just tired. he eventually emerges a further 10 minutes later, stoney-faced. I am pretty pissed off but want to smooth things over. When I go to kiss him and ask why he's so angry, he tells me he doesn't like being sworn at - apparently I said 'Jesus Christ' when I found him asleep the second time. I find myself apologising - why? Am I in the wrong? I go and buy my presents and come home in time for lunch. We carry on as normal, but things are frosty.
So AIBU to think he is BU, not me???
Background: I am struggling to get DH to take what I regard as a fair share of his responsibility for our 2 children. We have had many discussions about it and he often says 'I will try harder' but I rarely see any real difference in his behaviour after a day or two.