to be cross with DD for not telling on DS?

[RedHotPokers]

This morning somehow DS (2yo) managed to reach my handbag (on a shelf), remove a pen from it, draw a picture on the living room floor (laminate) AND then leaked ink out of it (by breaking it) on my dining room carpet.

I was cross with him for being naughty (and with myself for not realising he could reach my bag whilst I was upstairs for a few minutes). But I was almost more annoyed with DD (almost 5) for watching him do it and not calling me (normally she can't wait for him to be in trouble!).

AIBU to be equally as cross with DD, or am I expecting too much of her?

I often used to be blamed for my younger brother's misdemeanours (I'm 46, you'd think I'd be over it by now ) and it used to really upset me. If she didn't realise he was doing it or she was doing something else at the time , I don't think it's fair for you to be cross at her too. If you think/believe she let him do it knowing that he would be in trouble, that's a whole other matter!

I think expecting a four year old to supervise her little brother is rather unfair, and that's basically what it would be.

YABU unreasonable to be equally cross at her, it's not her job to discipline her brother I'm afraid

Dont blame your DD - it;s not her job to make sure your DS is behaving. She's only 5, still tiny herself so sorry and in the nicest possible way YABU - although I dont blame you for being fed up!

YABU

She isn't even 5 yet.

YABU to expect a 5 year old to police another child.

YABVU to be as cross with your dd as you are with your ds.

I thought I was BU. I am an older sibling so know how it feels, and I know its wrong to expect her to be responsible for him.

But she said she watched him do it and then forgot to tell me! Grrr!

You wait till they deliberately protect each other . . .

yabu

YABU definitely. I remember my mum going apeshit at me when my little sister painted her face (!) I hadn't even noticed! And look, I still remember it 35 years later!

YABU.. but my two oldest are of a similar age and this sort of thing happens a lot, so I can relate to your feelings very much so. It is unreasonable to blame the oldest or even tell them off, but I know just what you mean!

My 5yr old dd watchs her twin brother do all sorts of things including painting my wall with the contents of his potty.

This never occurs to her to tell me.... although should he go near her 'stuff' it a whole other story....

YABU :)

YABU... if you tell her off for this you will end up with her telling tales on her brother. She won't know the difference between small and big things, and will end up in trouble for telling tales!

My MIL blamed Dh when his 2 year old DS drank bleach from a lemonade bottle. He was 4. To this day she can't see that it really wasn't his fault but hers At least your ds only managed pen on a carpet

if it was Biro, white spirit/meths should get it off.

Seems a bit harsh to blame her...

Are you sure he did it and not her?

It would make sense why she didn't tell you if she was the one who reached your bag?