Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For saying hello to a toddler in the park with his parents?

55 replies

MrBloomsNursery · 27/07/2011 21:59

We have a new large sandpit area in the local park and I was standing near the play boat with DD, and this toddler came walking up to me with a big grin, so I said "Hello!", as you do to a baby. Anyway I looked up and his father was giving me evils, but the woman was okay. The man had a can of lager in his hand. Anyway, I felt like I had made a mistake by saying hello to his baby, so I took DD to the other side of the play area.

A few minutes later they walked passed me again, and he gave me evils again.

Is it wrong to talk to another person's baby if it is walking up to you? I've said hello to another toddler when I was in the eye hospital with DD before, and his Mum got pissed off and gave me evils too. Are you not supposed to acknowledge other people's children? Should you just ignore little smiling faces? Have I been making a big mistake by acknowledging these children....I feel like I've been making a mistake all this time....

OP posts:
AfternoonsandCoffeespoons · 27/07/2011 22:28

.....it was a joke! Grin Just that that is often the opinion of certain types of people, especially the ones that drink lager from a can at a childrens play area!

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons · 27/07/2011 22:30

Maybe the bloke was shortsighted and too vain to wear glasses, and was narrowing his eyes at you because he thought you looked like someone he was sick over on a trip to Skeg in 1998?
Grin AZ - would you believe you did it again? I was going to say exactly that!

Original poster
MrBloomsNursery · 27/07/2011 22:33

Nope, he was definitely giving me evils. He wasn't even IN the sandpit, he was standing outside it. Then he walked past me and did it again. I know evils when I see them....!

OP posts:
babybythesea · 27/07/2011 22:34

So, what is it about you that is dodgy? What vibes do you give off? Did you check that your flies were done up???!!!!!!!

breatheslowly · 27/07/2011 22:35

I might give you evils if you didn't talk to my baby when she tried to engage you, I hate that British thing of ignoring, you might as well whisper "your baby is shit" as you walk past.

AgentZigzag · 27/07/2011 22:36

You're right Afternoons, I don't believe you.

superjobee · 27/07/2011 22:36

aw i smile and say hiya to ppls babies all the time! get the odd dirty look from chavvy mums as im their age and hopefully not chavvy but mostly it leads to a whole conversation and even if it doesnt a wee mum/dad hiya smile type thing happens Grin you know the thing i mean ...... Hmm

also OH talks to other ppls babies/toddlers they love him the mums flirt with him, the dads just go ''kids eh'' or some other random comment and get on :)

blewit · 27/07/2011 22:36

Do you talk in a loud voice at all? I only ask cos there's one woman that really annoys me that talks to my DD in a really loud condescending voice and usually includes a passive aggressive remark along the way. Otherwise, maybe they just want to be left alone.

Original poster
MrBloomsNursery · 27/07/2011 22:38

I think I know babybythesea - It's not normally a problem, but only with "certain types of people", namely chavs. Don't really want to bring the race card into this, but I am muslim, so maybe that? I don't know - maybe he just didn't like me talking to his baby and is like that with everyone; who knows?! I don't have a problem normally - I end up talking to mums at the park if their child comes over to DD....

OP posts:
Popbiscuit · 27/07/2011 22:40

I think we need an "evils" emoticon.

I always say hello to friendly babies/toddlers...actually any human being that looks friendly. Perhaps we are all being unreasonable and should stop immediately.

Original poster
MrBloomsNursery · 27/07/2011 22:41

I don't talk loudly - just in a normal chirpy tone, saying "hell-oo", and the baby really liked it because he giggled back. I have to say, he was a really cute little boy.

OP posts:
lookingfoxy · 27/07/2011 22:41

yanbu, I always say hello to kiddies and engage with them in those sorts of situations, everyone's the same here (Scotland) as far as i've come across and the parent's appreciate you not ignoring the kids!

blewit · 27/07/2011 22:44

I guess some people just like to do their own thing without interacting with others. More than likely nothing to do with who you are. Some people are just wary. Must admit I've found this too - some people like it, some people don't. Just keep being you I say.

babybythesea · 27/07/2011 22:45

Maybe it is race - who knows. You can never second guess the mess that goes on in other people's heads. (Don't try with mine, it'll fry your brain!)
I just wondered if it was one of those moments where you get a funny look and don't realise until ages afterwards it was because your shoulder was covered in baby sick and even though you can no longer smell it, everyone else can. I couldn't think of anything that would cause me to look strangely at anyone talking to my dd, except maybe having their flies open (I would be hoping it was an accident but would be wondering!)

CupcakesandTwunting · 27/07/2011 22:49

I give people evils if they don't acknowledge my child. He is fucking ace and requires at least an hello, maybe an offer of confectionary.

I am being serious.

Minshu · 27/07/2011 22:50

babybythesea - how old is your DD? Mine is rapidly heading towards 2, and sounds like she has modelled herself on yours, but doesn't quite have all the words yet (it can be mortifying)...

OP - yanbu, but he might just have had an unfortunate face.

babybythesea · 27/07/2011 22:50

Blewit - the only thing is, she wasn't interacting with the adult, just the child. I know what you mean as I actually prefer not to engage in chit-chat etc when out and about on my own - I'm actually quite shy and prefer to be left alone (although if someone smiles at me I will smile back and then beat a hasty retreat). My dd has somewhat forced my hand by sharing random bits of news with anyone and everyone, so I am becoming more sociable, and I'm finding that even though I'm still fairly shy I love it when people do engage her in conversation as I can take a back seat and a) enjoy her enjoyment of them and their enjoyment of her and b) give my own brain a rest from having to try to follow her conversation!

babybythesea · 27/07/2011 22:54

She's now 2.5 - the bank conversation happened about 2 months ago.

Have you ever seen Outnumbered? I am starting to think, with a small sinking feeling in my stomach, that the little girl in that is pretty much where we're headed. The latest thing is that she asked me really loudly in Tescos if I was only wearing knickers, and what about that lady over there, is she wearing knickers too? We've started to talk to her about potties, and where you do your wee wees, and how she'll soon be just wearing knickers and not nappies etc etc. I just didn't mean for her to accost random shoppers who are trying to select their yoghurt to question them about the presence (or otherwise) of their underwear.

curlycreations · 27/07/2011 22:55

its againt law to drink in some parts of thiscity and it should be in all public parks -wouldnt worry about prat that thinks its ok to take kids to park and drink twat-poor child having father like that

heathermumof3 · 27/07/2011 22:57

I always talk to other people's children and make a fuss of them. Kids love it and the parents love it. Seems like you had nutter's in the park. Drinking a can of larger in the play ground sounds like a nice chap?
Also even if you where a man would not make you a pedo just for saying hello. When me and my DH take the kids out if kids come up to him he says hello and talks to them that does not make him he a pedo.
BTW you would be gutted saying hello to my 3 as you wouldn't get rid of them they can talk for England.

blewit · 27/07/2011 22:57

How strange. I wouldn't worry though. It's not you - you are quite normal (what I mean is I would be the same) I can assure you. It's them. Don't lose any sleep over it.

wonkylegs · 27/07/2011 23:04

I'm always talking to kids, making faces, interacting with them. I think it's weird not to but must admit I've been on the receiving end of a few 'evils' over the years. The weirdest of these is from parents at nursery who seem to think it odd that I come in a talk to all the kids and know their names and what they've been doing. But I see it as taking an interest and knowing my sons friends and I think it's sad more parents don't seem to do it. Their loss 3 yo's are hilarious Grin

Original poster
MrBloomsNursery · 27/07/2011 23:12

babybythesea Your situation with your daughter sounds very similar to mine. I'm also quite a shy person, but she has opened me up a bit over the last 3 years IYKWIM. It's brilliant when they have a conversation with an older person isn't it? I just have to laugh at the randomness of it all. Also, I think I would get more smiles if I had my flies undone!! I think I prefer evils over that!

wonky I get looked at weirdly by some nursery workers when I talk to my DD's friends too - TBF, I've known them since they were 5 months and they always run up to me to say hello, so it is normal for me.

I always feel really proud when someone talks to DD, so I like to share that feeling around with other parents, but obviously, some people don't want it!

OP posts:
madmomma · 27/07/2011 23:15

Aaaaarrrggghhh! I can't BEAR people who ignore little ones. Miserable BASTARDS!! What must babies think when every person in a waiting room is too up their own arse to return a smile or a wave at least??? I want to go and shake them :(

Minshu · 27/07/2011 23:27

Babybythesea - DP was talking about our dd in terms of outnumbered the other night. Better learn to live with it Grin