Am i overusing dd's creche?

[missmalteser]

So dd (2) started a creche a few weeks ago & we pay for a full time place, as the pt hours they offer wouldnt suit my working week & ft is actually not that much more expensive, within my working week i work 2 full days & 3 half ones, before the creche this would have meant i picked up dd from cm as soon as i got home & she was with me the rest of the day, however, using this week as an example, on monday i decided to gut the house, do some cooking to restock the freezer & catch up on the ironing, today dd's gran asked to pick her up & take her out to a friends for dinner (creche is now on her route) & on Fri dp wants us to head into town for a nice leisurely lunch.

Should i feel guilty i've been taking advantage of the extra hours we pay for anyway? I must admit i have felt really on top of things and a lot less stressed than usual this week, on one hand I feel in the back of my mind its a bad habit to get into, on the other it was so nice to pick her up from creche & not have a million & one things hanging over my head to do, we went to the park, played in the garden & spent what felt like more "quality" time together, because i'd already got the chores out of the way a lot faster than i usually would have. Or am i just really bad at managing my time?

No, your not. You pay for it, its up to you how you use it!!

Do you mean you feel guilty at not spending the time with your dd? Or that you're taking advantage of the creche? I'm not clear.

You sound like you're trying to justify yourself to people here?

Your child - your relationship.

It sounds lovely. If the creche are doing lovely, fun things with her and then you're doing lovely, fun things with her it sounds like a win win situation. I think watching Mummy load the diswasher is over-rated as an activity. Am .

Sounds ideal! You get the chores out the way so you all enjoy the time you do spend together much more!
And how nice for you and dh to have a lunch just the two of you on fri. Enjoy it, things like that are great for your relationship (and therefor the whole family!)

Yes its probably both these issues! Although dd adores it i just feel that doesnt mean I can just leave her there all day and swan off to lunch (though that wouldnt be a usual occurance, its usually much more mundane! I guess I do feel guilty and am wondering should I be justifying myself, should i make a more conscious effort to pick her up earlier if im not at work?

It's a very personal choice. 2 full days and 3 half days feels like quite a lot to me, so I would want ds home the rest of the time.

If you and your dd are happy though, that's what matters.

you pay for the hours so use them how you wish
if you need childfree time up to you

Maybe just a classic case of parental guilt then, tbh when i do go to pick her up she usually looks like she would rather stay there anyway lol! Although i do see your pov too RM, its kinda how i feel and am battling against, i dont know if it makes anyway difference but even on her full days the latest i get her is 4:30, so does leave some time for park etc. I am sure it will calm down in a couple of weeks when the novelty wears off though.

How about alternating between early pick ups and late pick up, so you still get a break but with a bit less guilt? Don't feel guilty about taking some time to yourself or to spend with oh though. Everyone has different needs.