to think women who talk about their husbands like they are little boys...

[thisfantasticvoyage]

need to get a grip. Saw on another thread mentioning that the 'dh' is incapable of doing the shopping ffs. Which begs the question, do you women also wipe their bottoms for them?

A lot of people are control freaks who like things done their way, any other way is wrong. A lot of that on MN. I've never come across a group of people so obsessed with how often they bath DDs, wash the kitchen floor or change the bed linen. Very insecure, I think.

There is no reason why they can't do it. I think that too often women put themselves 'in charge' and want others to do it to their own standard. Therefore if he doesn't iron a duvet cover 'properly' they take it off him and do it. I would just let him iron it without having to judge it.

lol, couldnt agree more OP

when my OH says he cant do x y or z, i say well i wasnt born knowing how to do it either! When i went away for a few weeks to see family abroad, neither him nor the kids died - they either had to learn to do stuff or not get it done, and to be honest none of them looked any slimmer when i got back so they obviously didnt starve

if i could get away with whining oh i cant wash up/hoover/iron/shop, or do it so badly that my OH huffed and puffed and said oh leave it, let me do it, i bloody well would. Thats called being manipulated my loves :) and that combined with martydom goes hand in hand

I decided to teach DH how to run all the household stuff some years ago,which was fine. What took me a while to accept was his ludicrous view that if he did it, he did it his way!

I can see why MIL have a hard time if they have brought up DSs who can't do these things for themselves.
I don't think that I could have contemplated marrying a man who hadn't lived away from home and coped with shopping, washing machines, cooking, sewing on a button etc. I live in a household of men and am not general dogsbody! You do have to accept that they don't all do it the way that you do-in my case DH is much better-but much slower.

It can be difficult sometimes. DP, for e.g., is very capabale but has never really learnt to cook properly. I had cooking lessons at school, and then learnt to cook decently after leaving home, and I really enjoy it. He never had to cook at home (his Dad doesn't know how to cook anything, bar one dish), and then when he moved out lived on pasta, M&Ms and take away pizzas. His female flatmates taught him some stuff, but he's still not there. I really really have to hold myself back when he's cooking and has the heat really high, or chops vegetables in a way I wouldn't - but, I have to woman up. He's never going to learn to cook, and feel confident in his skills with me hovering over him and criticising everything. Though seriously

but it just a female bonding thing to do isn't it? the eye-rolling and anecodtes about husbandly ineptness!

I think that this should actually be looked at in the opposite way - why do these husbands allow themselves to be infantilised in this way? Maybe because then they don't actually have to do any household work?

I also don't see why it is the wife's (or MIL's - where was the FIL and what was he doing for example) responsibility to "teach" them. Housework and cooking isn't exactly rocket science. If you can read, you can cook.

God I mentioned it on that thread because it was driving me so mad, so many posters were saying it! How can you want to have sex with someone you mother? So unsexy.

handdived - I think I know why they do it. (well I know my reasons anyway) People always did it for them and if they did it themselves it was picked at things like haha we will all be getting food poisoning or making someone a cup of tea and them saying its too weak like dishwater show it the teabag. After a while it becomes a big scary thing and almost like a fear in your mind like you are incapable of doing it and it seems irrationally scary.

I think its the same as what some wives/husbands do and it is probably seen as a bit of a joke but I think it can really effect a person. I remember when I started working in an offce I only drank water so I wouldnt have to make tea or coffee in case everyone thought it was awful.

I took up with a man who couldn't cook, 12 or so years ago - first bloke I'd ever come across who couldn't.

Such 'teaching' as I have provided consists of pointing to a row of cookbooks. He's now rather good at it.