To be furious with DD2's teacher?

[NunTheWiser]

DD2 (9) is very dyslexic and has specialist tutoring (at the request of the school who said that her dyslexia was too severe and they did not have the time or resources to help her ). We pay for the tutoring ourselves and her session is after school on a Tuesday evening. She's come on leaps and bounds with her tutor - amazingly well really. She works really hard during this session and is exhausted at the end of the day. I have made the decision (and communicated it more than once to the teacher) that DD2 will not be doing any homework on Tuesday evenings on top of her tutoring. An hour's intense work is more than enough.
This afternoon, DD2 came home from school very upset saying that her teacher shouted at her and kept her in at playtime for not doing her homework. DD2 explained that she had extra tutoring yesterday evening and that I had said she didn't need to do any more work (and had written a note to that effect in her home/school diary), to which the teacher replied, "DD2, you can't use dyslexia as an excuse."
Am apoplectic with rage. DD2 is, according to her Ed Psych, an incredibly bright child but seriously lacks self-confidence because she compares herself to other kids in the class who don't have dyslexia and can read and write fluently. She often comes home and says that she is stupid. DH wants to go straight to the Head and complain.
I could understand the teacher being annoyed if DD2 was a slacker but she isn't. She works unbelievably hard and always tries her best, as this very teacher pointed out in her last report.
Don't know why I'm surprised really, at our last parent / teacher interview this same teacher told me to ask DD2's Ed Psych for teaching strategies because she had "no idea how to teach dyslexics", and suggested perhaps putting DD2 into some kind of alternative school where she could learn drama and music rather than reading and writing.

YANBU. As you had written to the teacher any issue she had with the homework not being done should have been taken up with you - not your daughter. Seems like the teacher has taken the cop out of moaning at your dd rather than putting a note back in the diary for you.

Well if your child went swimming/dancing/gymnastics after school, would she be allowed to skip her homework?

Perhaps that's what the teacher meant by 'not using it as an excuse'

In a badly worded way, she's teaching your child a valuable lesson. Some people let things hold them back in life and some don't.

Worraliberty you obviously don't have a dyslexic child, it is totally different from gymnastics or dancing. Extra tuition is helping this child "access the curriculum" something that the school should be doing itself. I would go to the principle and discuss a general policy for your child not to be doing homework, dyslexic children are working twice as hard to cope with the normal school day anyway.
But to be honest this teacher may have had very little if any training in how to teach dyslexics (although in a class of 30 she should have at least 3).

An IEP that lasts all year can't work because it should focus on really tiny steps. Have you been to SPELD yet? Look them up, they're in South Perth, amazing people and they can tell you exactly how to proceed from a WA perspective. They provide training for teachers and parents as well as for your child. They have tutors who are total experts and can tell you exactly what you need in an IEP. Easy peasey!!

Worra, swimming or dancing is completely different. They are activities that a child does by choice and hopefully enjoys. In fact, at the last parent information evening, the Head and teacher made a big hooha about how extra curricular sport and activities were extremely beneficial to children and so if they found it difficult to juggle homework and sport, come and talk to them about how to accomodate this etc. etc.

DD2 does the targeted tutoring (which is very intensive and extremely hard work) because the school and teacher can't or won't provide the education she needs and have asked us to arrange (and pay) for this. By the school's own reckoning, a child should be doing no more than about 20 minutes of homework each evening in Yr 4, so DD2 is effectively doing three days worth of homework time in one evening. She doesn't complain, just gets on with things and tries her best to keep up. Why should she be singled out, penalised and humiliated in front of the class for something that I have already agreed with the teacher?

Hi Migrant, yes, SPELD are the group that put us in touch with her fabulous tutor.

"In a badly worded way, she's teaching your child a valuable lesson." The child hasn't done anything wrong. All she did was do what her parent said and had agreed with the teacher. Why the hell is she being punished because adults can't agree on the best way forward. If the teacher has an issue with what NuntheWiser has done then she should take it up with her not take it out on the daughter.