To think there is nothing more pathetic than a man who

[emkana]

is jealous of the attention his partner give to their children.

My brother being a case in point.

The Relationship isn't separate, that's my point. It's integral. So giving individuals separate love scores is a bit odd.

Well, he must be an eminently sensible man valium

Agent he is about some things!

SCOTT - I find that I have a different sort of love for my DH and my DD. I think, for me, it comes down to how I love them rather than how much. I love DH as much as I could love any other adult human being. But I love my DD more than my own life.

I don't think I would have fallen in love with a guy who would be jealous of a baby in the first place. I think he'd have to be a certain type of person, and that type is not someone I would want to marry, if that makes sense.

If the attention given to the DC means that DH is being ignored then he is very NU, I certainly wouldn't like that.

Is this another "I don't want to shag my DH" thread in disguise?

'I love DH as much as I could love any other adult human being. But I love my DD more than my own life.'

You're making sense to me, I could adjust to living without my DH, but I wouldn't want to live without my DC.

Goes without saying valium

Honestly whatmeworry!

The OP's not that long, it's her brother she's talking about

Oh, I see - she doesn't want to shag her brother :o

yy Psammead, that's it exactly.

I find it weird when people compare them because it's not like with like.

But if DH told me that he loved our children more than he loved me, I would be very hurt. And I would wonder why he was telling me that. It would make me feel like I'd served my purpose by providing children, and was now a busted flush.

Having children together has made me love DH more than I did before we were parents. I can't imagine thinking of him as coming second. They all come first.

The only situation in which I can think of their interests being opposed would be if he abused them. Then they would have to come first. But it would end my love for him too.

I suppose that's one way it's different - my love for him is conditional, for the DCs it is unconditional.

'I love DH as much as I could love any other adult human being. But I love my DD more than my own life.'

You put this so well. I really really love DH, but the love I have for him could go away, the love for my children is unconditional until the day I die.

I know my husband feels exactly the same - the day our ds1 was born, I knew, and was happy to know, that I was now number 2 in rank of importance, and so was h to me! We love each other as adults, but we both love our children more than anything. Its human nature innit?!

sigh - i reminded him that i'm not his mother and he should go and talk to her about it!

I would agree that I don't love DH more or less than the kids - it's just different. eg love for the kids is unconditional

DH and I agree that we would always sacrifice each other to save the kids in a fire!!

There is no importance chart in my family.

DH became more important to me, not less, when DD2 arrived.

I'd be wondering about the meaning behind it if it was something casually thrown into a conversation about petrol prices SCOTT.

'Oh, by the way, I love our DC far more than I'll ever love you...'

That would be manipulative.

It's not a first/second, more/less type of love, but I find I can measure the depth of my love, which like you say is different for each, and my DC provoke a more intense emotion.

That's not to say 11 years of being married to my DH haven't been the best, but his children are my priority, he's a big lad and can look after himsen if needs be.

While I was in court today to try to prevent my wife from leaving the country with my six year old son and to return to the philippines to remain permanently. ( the judge allowed it)
I was made aware of a letter issued by CAFCASS stating my 6 year old son does not want to see me. my wife and I split( she left me) stating dom violence as as a reason. nothing proven or ever happened. considering the fact i had too much to lose if it did,
For CAFCASS to issue that kind of statement in the relationship of father and son is very biased and inappropriate
Considering the fact I have not seen my son in 5 months and CAFCASS have not looked at both sides of the issue.
Or given John and me any means to interact and be observed and notarised
This letter is highly unprofessional and damning to both my son and me
This should be reported to a higher level and the person who issued this letter should be sacked.
I am extremely hurt by this tactic and I feel I have been treated in a grossly unfair manner.
The time delay has been a major cause of this, as I truly believe I could have prevented any damage if I had been allowed to see my son sooner. To reassure him of his safety and the love I hold for him.
And my son has obviously been damaged by means of alienation methods by my ex wife ! she has poisoned his mind against me.
It is my opinion that CAFCASS officer has acted out of bias and not fairly.
Ill judged comments are not wise in that field of work.

Adults who can't swim or drive
able bodied people who take the life one floor up in work when there's stairs
Mothers who think others care about their kids as much as she does and find them just as fascinating and entertaining
People who cry at movies (except Marley and me)
People who forward chain e-mails
People who update their Facebook status with every detail of their day
People who update their facebook status to do some horribly smulshy bragging about either ther kids or partner
People who haven't seen the wire,breaking bad, DeadWood or The Sopranos

I find more pathetic.

That sounds a really awful situation you're in there johnyb.

You will get very good advice and support if you posted what you've written in a new thread on another part of MN, like relationships or parenting (not that you're not welcome here, and I don't want to tell you what/where to post or anything).

I hope you can manage to resolve it and get to see your son soon

Hmmm, your argument is swaying me with people who cry at movies mayorquimby, and I can look down on you for your weakness in Marley and Me.

But then I don't drive...

In my defence I was in a really bad way after a 4 day festival of excess, I was not in the right place to watch that movie and not cry.

I'll also add people who wait until they get to the front of the line before they realise they'll be expected to pay/get out their atm card when they get to the front and decide then is the time to go fishing for what they need in a handbag the size of a suitcase.

Well yes up to a point.

However, it seems to me that some women immerse themselves in their children to the exclusion of all else including their DH/DP and in that situation I think the DH/DP has a right to expect some attention and love from the mother - providing he is doing his fair share of childcare.

Having a baby should not be an excuse to neglect your relationship. Both matter just as much.

Can I add people who can't make a decent omlette to your list MQ?

Definitely. They always seem to make some horrible half-omlette/half-scrambled egg plate of mush with bits of mushroom everywhere.

I always find this a bit wierd, simply because there are plenty of parents out there who don't have a couple-relationship and aren't bothered about having one. Yet there do seem to be some people who would put having or indeed finding a couple-relationship ahead of their DC's interests.