To take my kids to soft play if I want to?

[MummyDoIt]

This isn't a thread about whether they are good places or not. I know they are a bit of a 'Marmite' issue among parents!

However, my SIL, whose children are now grown up, informed me that people shouldn't use them because they should be playing with their children instead. Basically, she was implying that only bad and lazy parents use them as a way of avoiding being with their children.

To me, they are an absolute godsend. I'm a single parent, widowed, and have no family living close by so I never, ever get a break from my DCs. Much as I love them dearly, a few hours at a soft play area provides a very welcome break for me. They are old enough now that I don't have to watch them constantly so I can relax with the paper and a cup of coffee. Of course they are not ignored. I check on them frequently, they come back to me periodically and a good time is had by all.

AIBU to resent being criticised for this, particularly by someone who had a husband to share childcare, had family on tap for extra help and has no idea how hard it is to raise children single-handedly?

she's an idiot, you need a response like..."that's an interesting point of view thank you for sharing, however I don't agree we love them, please respect my right to a different opinion" then just repeat the last bit as necessary.

Honestly I can't believe some people's judgemental, over inflated sense of I don't know what, I really cross on your behalf.

UANBU, so according to your SIL I have to play with the DC all the time? They can't go to soft play and I guess they can't go to the park either if they invent games that allow mum to sit on a bench with the paper.
How long is this meant to continue? Do you have to play continuously with 8 year-olds in the swimming pool or can you do some quiet lengths. She's mad ignore!

And what about at home, if they go out and play in the garden while you stay indoors, is that allowed, I wonder?

This is one of the maddest criticisms I have heard. I'd like to see my DC faces if I said we are never going to soft play, you must do an educational puzzle with me instead! . Your SIL has some funny ideas.

Surely that's the point of them? To sit and ignore your dc whilst having a coffee and chat with friends.

She's mad!! I reckon she once saw a pub with a play barn thing and some parents sitting outside it drinking lager out of plastic glasses and ignoring their kids, and her views on soft play were fully formed at that instant.

Nah, your SIL is talking rubbish.

The easy option is letting your kid play on Mario Kart Wii whilst you MN. In your pyjamas.

Well, in a perfect world, we'd have no soft play areas and no TV.

In a perfect world, we'd all be playing/interacting with our children ALL the time.

In a perfect world, we'd never be tired, the housework would do itself, and our children would never have tantrums because they're bored of the same old, same old.

As it stands, the world is far from perfect. So a bit of soft play (and even a bit of TV) every now and then makes a nice change for the both the children and the parents.

Your SIL has put herself up on the parenting pedastal.She will fall.Dramatically.

YANBU. They have been a godsend for me as well. And why should your children play with you all the time anyway? I think playing on their own/with other children/their sibling is much better for their development than with us anyway. And it's good for YOU to have that rest and YOU are important too!

She's jealous such places didn't exist when her kids were young!!

YANBU. Your SIL is being. Very silly. My DDs are grown up now (youngest. Is 19). They loved these places when they were children. Yes they were around then.

YANBU- your SIL is being insensitive and unrealistic.

She obviously lacks empathy to critisise you in this way. You are using soft play for the benfit of all- you get a much needed break and your DC get child only time. Soft play may be hellish for some, for many reasons, but for DC it can be a great education in learning to play alone and in how to interact with others.

She actually seems to lack an understanding of DC too- they love soft play, they love playing with other DC and alone. They neither want or need a parent with them all the time.

If the worst thing you do as a parent is take your kids to soft play then you've nothing to worry about I take my son all the time & he loves it. He runs round while I have a brew & read the paper and we both leave much refreshed. Everyones a winner

How funny, I think of going out to soft play as an activity done with me! I'm there, I buy stuff, chat with them, perhaps eat lunch, they run round lots. What would happen in a playpark?

YANBU, in fact I am just of to take my two there for the afternoon, with one of dd's playmates. Mine don't go very often, and it is a treat for them, it is also a good way to let them run around and use up their surplus energy whilst being in a safe environment.
Dd2 loves climbing and I would much prefer her to do it at soft play than up the bookshelf at home. :)

She's mad!

Yes, parents should play with their children sometimes but not all the time.

Children should also be given the opportunity to play without adult inervention, to make their own friends, to socialise and learn social boundaries with other little ones. Wether this is at soft play, a park or at home it doesn't really matter - just soft play is indoor and warmer sometimes.

TBH if your sil is not allowing her children to play alone without her she is the one doing more potential harm.

She's being very silly. Ignore her.

I've been on MN for about 2 years now and I finally have to ask: What is soft play? SOunds vaguely rude.

Oh, and your SIL is being intolerant and horrid.

Oh, that's brilliant!

Seriously, don't take her seriously.

Wow, I'm amazed to get a 100% YANBU!!!! To be fair to SIL, she wasn't directly criticising me at first as her original comment was made about her work colleague who takes her kids at weekends. SIL's point was that a working mum should be doing stuff with her kids at weekends, not sitting in a soft play area drinking tea. However, when I defended them and said that we frequently use them, I got a cat's bum face in response. I wish I'd used the argument of what's the difference between a soft play and a park?

EldritchCleavage - soft play areas are indoor play areas. Big places with climbing frames, ball pits and so on where kids can run riot in (relative!) safety.

yanbu your sil's point of view is quite weird!
kids tend to love soft play (well mine do anyway) so its a nice treat. also you can still interact with them at soft play if you want to, and they can see you are making the effort to take them out somewhere that they enjoy so its hardly going to make them feel neglected is it. and surely she does not play and interact with them every single second of the day? variety is a good thing..

It sounds like your SIL doesn't really understand how soft play works, maybe you should suggest she goes with your kids next time to find out whilst you stay home with coffee and the paper.

Aaah! Thank you.