To tell DS that he has to stay in his room from 9pm onwards?

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During the holidays I let DS(10) stay up until more or less whatever time he wants (this stops two weeks before they go back to school to get him into a routine again). But the deal is he has to be quiet and not disturb others.
The thing is he has got into the habit of hanging around the living room and trying to watch movies with me. The movies I save for late on a night are usually 18s or adulty 15s and if DS is in the room I have to keep pausing them or actually turning them off. I now have 8 18c movies on my sky planner because I'm not getting chance to watch them.

I've explained to DS that after 9pm it's "my" time and I'd like to watch the TV in peace but he keeps on making excuses to walk in and out of the living room.

I know "he lives here too" and "its his house too" but AIBU to want the living room to myself after 9pm?

put him back to school time bedtime until he learns to respect the rules

every time he leaves his bedroom bring it back 10 mins

1 night of going to bed at 6pm will fix it

YANBU My DC when around that age were in bed by 8.30 with lights off at 9pm. In the holidays they were allowed to stay awake longer but they had to be in their bedrooms.

I was the adult so it was my rules.

my youngest two 10 and 7 have to be in their rooms at 7.30pm but DS3 is allowed to stay up till 9 - if reading quietly then I won't make an issue of it until I go to bed -

my elder ones do what they want and go out or stay up but we do have two rooms with decent tv and dvd player - one of which has huge bean bag sofas, games consoles, stereo and board games in it and one of which is a bit more adult - kids are allowed in both rooms and sometimes we're all together and sometimes we're split

(10 year old does sneak downstairs sometimes of course - it helps having a blind eye with children when it's not bothering you)

Dd's 13 and her bedtime is 9.30 in the holidays but she is in her room from 8.30 so dh and I can watch unsuitable tv or film before we go to bed at 10.

She can read, do crafts, listen to music but after 8.30 it's adult tv downstairs.

Is he angling to stay downstairs with you or angling to watch 'unsuitable' tv? I remember wandering downstairs to ask something or get a drink after I'd been sent to bed. And accidentally leaving the living room door not quite closed. So I could sneak onto the top stair and watch grown up tv through the gap. My poor DC's get away with very little because I recognise the tricks.

DS's all pre teens/teens are in their room by 8.30/9pm ish depending on what we are watching on TV at that time.

9pm is the absolute latest unless 'family' film dvd watching.

Lights out 10.30 ish during holidays and 9.30 ish duriing school terms. They have TV, DVD etc all in their room so there is no need for me to be doing 'kids' all evening as well as all day!

We need our 'grown up' time and there are some conversations between me and DH I don't want the kids taking part in...so we are kiddie free by 9pm...holidays and school nights.

You could always try letting him stay up and watch a grown up film with you. Something without sex or violence. That's all about relationships. And angst. Where nothing really happens. Preferably in french with subtitles.

Our DS (10) also has to be in his room by 9pm - perfectly reasonable - he can read in bed but children need to respect that (most) adults want time alone or with their partner.

at narkpuffin. We had our sil over one afternoon and dd was out. She came back half way through to find us all watching "the way we were" (angsty relationship, slooooooooooow, Barbra Streisand film)

She watched the rest and declared it 'the most boring film shed ever seen and if that's what we watched when she was in bed we could keep it".

Sounds perfect

My DD1 is 12.7 and in the holidays I ask her to go to her room about 2130 so DH and I can have some 'adult' time before we go to bed about 2230/2300.

Adult time as in watching 15 rated programmes or films, or even having a conversation that we don't want DD1 to listen in to!

She goes up to watch a DVD, read or play her iPod and then has lights out about 2230 when we go to bed. I think it's important to have some grown up time without your children around.

YANBU. If he won't stay in his room tell him he'll have to go back to having regular bedtimes in the holidays.

why do you feel the need to watch these sort of films - as your son gets older 'me' time becomes 'our time' and you need to adjust the content of tv, films etc - i cannot understand the 'shut the kids away' attitude - when he is 15 or 16 will you still make him stay in his room whilst you watch 18 rated films/programmes.

molly

Er perhaps because the OP is an adult and want to watch an adult film. It's a perfectly reasonable thing to want to do especially as the child is only 10

One of my DS's is 15 y/o soon and the 'in your room by 9pm' will still apply...just as DS has a separate relationships with his friends from the family so do DH and I.

Tbh we don't watch many 18 rated films...so really TV viewing doesn't have much to do with our bedtime decision...keeping mine and DH's relationship alive for after the DS's leave home does though.

My thinking exactly Mizzy

Hi valiumredhead

Even if the OP doesn't have a DH or DP what about wanting time for a good old chat with her girlfriends on the phone...some stuff we just don't want our DC's being privy to...a 'set' bedtime is a good idea for so many different reasons imo.

This thread has come at a good time for me. DS1 (10) seems to be moving to a later bedtime and waking later (finally!!!). Am glad to hear that in own room from 9pm is not unreasonable.