AIBU to feel that my 5yo shouldn't be told off for saying "penis"

[formerdiva]

My normally infallible mum took my daughter out on Saturday and met up with some of DD's friends. At one point, DD banged herself and said "ow, my penis". Her friend's mother was very shocked and gave her a rollicking, then marched her over to my mum and explained what had happened. Mum also chimed in, telling DD that it was a grown up word that she mustn't use.

I feel slightly bewildered by this. I mean, I know she was anatomically incorrect seeing as she doesn't actually have a penis, but I don't get what's offensive about her saying it? As it happens, it's not the word we use in the house (after much consideration we're using the word "willy"), but it seems a harmless enough word. I also feel slightly guilty as I've never corrected DD when she's used it (other than, obviously, to point out that she doesn't have a penis!), so it must have seemed odd to her that she was given a major telling off by two people for it.

The other Mum in question is a woman I like, and I have a lot of respect for my Mum's opinion, so it's made me question whether I've got this one wrong or not?

She said the word penis? The actual word penis? A word that describes part of a human body?

That's bloody disgusting. Do you not teach your child that if it's anywhere in that area, you need to whisper a twee euphemism such as dingle dangle or wobbly flob. Otherwise the world will end with Voldemort riding in on a massive phallus to smite us all.

Grown up words btw are things like tax and fiscal and as such I don't expect my dd to be using them.

Right better get off my lubbly jub and go shopping.

Phew - relax. I'd bounced it off a couple of work colleagues who don't have children, and they were pretty horrified with the idea of a 5yo saying "penis" and I guess that's what really made me question myself. But if it's OK with MN, it's OK with me

Good points made though about whther dd was saying it for a reaction, which isn't impossible!

Grown up? Bollocks. Sorry, testicles! It's anatomically correct. Why do we have to lie to kids? My two know all the correct words, though choose not to use them. My son has (and is proud of) a tiddle, and my daughter has bits. There is no need to be grumpy about use of either term. Looks like the 'friend' in the original post is a typically British uptight mother who is horrified by anything even remotely rude.

I'd be having words with the friend. Possibly anatomically correct ones

showofhands

I honestly reckon that she was misheard, and the other mother thought she was calling one of her friends "a penis". Which would warrant a telling off as being an adult word I suppose.. although how mature it would be for someone to call someone else a penis, I am not too sure!

wrong thread Nanny

We use willy in our house. And as much as I'm all open and honest and all that stuff, I would balk at my dd calling it a 'vulva' Don't know why, but that sounds much more clinical than penis...

sorry this reply has gone onto the wrong thread

sorry again, please ignore, ill see of MNHQ will move it!

Shhhh SOH - don't say You Know Who's name out loud! :D

OP - ignore them, would they have been upset if she had said, "Ouch my elbow"?

nnanyl - don't worry, it puts my own quandry into perspective

Sorry Lil. He'll be revving up his phallus as I type.

have reported it so hopefully it might get removed soon
no idea how it happened other than my internet disconnected and then reconnected itself, so perhaps it got confused?

I'd have serious words with your friend and mother! There was no need for them to tell her off for using the word penis in that context, I would have another word with her explaining the lack of penis situation though! ( if I was your friend think I'd just have gone home and had a good laugh about it!)

formerdiva, can you perhaps just let me know other grown up words. I'm off to the post office in a minute and it's staffed by grown ups. I want to impress them.

So far I've got penis and vulva but how I'm going to get that into a conversation about passports I have no idea. I'll think of something.

I've just taught my four year old DS the word penis. I eagerly await my telling off.

I think grown up words would be knob or dick or cock, not penis

Have to say when my codons little boy hurt himself on the bouceycastle and yelled ouch my penis, I decided if I ever had a son that is what I would like him to use.

What did they expect a hushed tone and muttered mention of down there al la les dawson?

Your mother and friend deserve a telling off themselves for being a. so twee and b. so unfair to dd. Silly sausages, as it were.

And tell dd Granny and friend got it wrong and it's OK for her to use that word, although you may want to remind her she has a vagina/vulva/whichever word you prefer.

Think they were being unreasonable.

Having said that, I really don't know what to encourage my DSs to say. I know it isn't (I really do!) but penis does sound sort of rude (I think because adults don't discuss their bits in polite company) but willy sounds completely daft to me ... Really am stuck in coming up with something sensible ....

I have recently told my girls the proper terms for female genitalia (mainly as DD2 keps saying "I've got a little willy!" - didn't want them to feel inferior for not having a penis :)) and what different bits do.

YANBU

It is a total non-issue...YANBU.

She made a mistake with the name (as she is a girl) thats all.

What twee people to make a fuss...

Even if she did do it to provoke a reaction ...big deal ...she is 5!

A penis? what on earth should children be taught to say?

I bet they like babyish words for body parts.

No wonder people get so messed up as adults

I'd find it so funny if she said it, I'd think she was either after making a mistake or she is a little comedian but I'm very easily amused. I would be pissed off at someone else telling my child off.
I think children SHOULD absolutley know the correct names for body parts.

A friend of mine, observing his 5 year old DD scratching her crotch, said "Itchy vagina?" I thought that was rather too right on tbh (Did not say anything tho', none of my business really).

I did feel like pointing out that, anatomically speaking, he should have said either vulva or possibly pudendum. And I make no apologies for not really wanting to hear any one ask anyone else, is your vulva itchy .

YANBU, but I agree some might use it as an attention seeking thing - whuch imo you would ignore anyway not give it.

This thread had reminded me of the scene in 'Three men and a little lady' where the girl is in a cafe and says 'Can I have a penis?' Because a little boy she knows has says he has one.

DS says willy and if he banded it would say 'oh my willy' as LO aren't embarassed about mentioning body parts.

SoH