AIBU to help my sis buy drugs?

[creamola]

DSis is 51 and was given a hystorectmy 2.5 years ago which plunged her into a deep depression and anxiety.

She no longer works due to this and spends most of the day in bed.

She has been treated with diazapam on and off, and everytime it seems to be working the GP's stop it on the grounds that it is not a long term fix.

She has recently turned to drink and is basically getting drunk every day to 'cope'.

When she gets diazapam she stops drinking instantly.

Anyhoo.......she has asked me if I can get her some (I know some shady characters & she doesn't).

I'm at a complete loss as to whether to help or not? I'd rather she was on medication than getting drunk as it is ruining her life and pulling her family apart.

I can't think objectively enough so would appreciate some second opinions.

This happened to my sister and eventually she became an alcoholic because her depression and anxiety were so bad that she self medicated around the clock. After a BIG struggle she was prescribed Prozac and has not had a drink since: nearly three years. Your sis's GP needs to do more to identify and treat the underlying problem and that probably requires a psychiatric assessment. Sadly ours was done through the Priory and I know that very few bi-polar sufferers or there families have the money to do that. If we hadn't done it for my sis she would be dead now. Sad but true

Hi. I take diazapam on a regular basis. It is very well controlled and I am not addicted. I cant be, I only get 28 at a time and if I take too many I run out. So I dont, I use them to help me cope with very difficult periods and my GP is excellent. She understands it is the best option for me.

She keeps prescribing them because a. I only see her once every 5-6 weeks for a new script b. both times I was ttc I gave up totally and c. (probably the most important factor) I am actively pursuing alternative sources of help with a view to becoming med free eventually.
AD are not for me.

The thing is with your poor sister is that she WILL eventually discover that taking valium is even more affective (for want of a better word) when she drinks at the same time. This is a real danger. It sounds as if she is taking them/drinking to get a bit out of it because she doesnt want to be 'her' IYSWIM.
That is why she is so at risk of addiction. She isnt managing her symptoms as such, more blotting the world out.

Dont buy valium , at best you will get sugar pills at worst you could be giving her something very dangerous.

You cant help her this way. I am so sorry for your situation. She has to get help with her depression and ADs sound like they would be a better option. It is hard to get talking therapies at the moment with all the cuts but the two together can be very affective.

I really hope you can get some help for her.

I've watch many addicts come off diazepam, and booze, I personally think it is worse coming off diazepam; long drawn out withdrawal stage, very little help (many rehabs won't take on diazepam addicts due to the length of withdrawal).

She needs proper antidepressants. But will need help over the first few weeks.

Some researchers estimate that as many as 70 percent of women suffer depression after hysterectomy. While the depression might be shortlived for some, for others it can become chronic.

The abrupt hormonal changes caused by the surgery affect the nerve and neuroendocrine interactions which may result in a loss of any sense of emotional well-being, and can cause mood changes and irritability.

While your sister may have understood that there were sound medical reasons for surgery, and gave her consent to the op, she may have grieved for the loss of her womb and may feel that she is not a 'complete' woman. This will, understandably, compound her depression.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'a daily support thing' or why your sister's GP cannot prescribe diazepam or other medication until it is put in place but if your sister is now being perceived as being, or is being treated, as an alcoholic, her medical history needs to be urgenty reviewed so that she can be prescribed appropriate drug regime.

Your post has made me feel extremely angry on behalf of your sister and her family (including yourself, of course) as, given appropriate treatment (which may include HRT, anti-depressants, and counselling), there was, and is, no need for her to suffer the crippling effects of preventable or manageable post-hysterectomy depresssion.

It would seem that your sister has been failed by the NHS and has been left to self-medicate with alcohol. If I were you, I'd be giving her GP hell insistent that your sister needs a hormonal evaluation NOW and a course of an appropriate anti-depressant pending the results.

If you can't achieve this in the next week or so, and if your sister functions 'normally' with low doses of her drug of choice, I suggest you do what's necessary to get her off the sauce.

thefirstMrsDeVere talks a lot of sense, there is a very high chance that your sister will eventually decide that the 2 are great (good/more effective) together, and that is a real danger.

I have also heard that a lot of the diazapam/valium on street sale have been bought back from India, and can vary hugely to a legit script from the doctor.

Soo, all in all I do not think that you should get them for her.

MrsBB the hysterectomy was due to heavy periods that were causing anemia to the stage where iron iffusions were becoming quite regular.

They were supposed to leave the ovary (one was removed due to a cyst years ago) but didnt with no good explaination so more was removed than expected IYSWIM?

Unfortunately the wound became infected and then she went 'whoosh' completely downhill.

The AD's they have had her on made no noticable difference and discovering she had started drinking was really a shock as it is so not like her at all.

They won't help if she is drinking whilst on them.

Thanks again, lots to think about.

The most frustrating thing is she is being honest and almost begging the medical people for help and just ends on on waiting lists.

She ased last week if she could have a short stay in the hospital that deals with alcohol & mental health issues and was told that due to cuts the only admissions are for people have pyschotic episodes or attempted suicides

I know it's not necessarily their fault but I can almost understand why having to take the action I'm considering arises

She'll just end up drinking as well as taking the Valium - really slippery slope, awful to sit back and wait but SHE needs to decide when enough is enough. I really feel for you.

Its very hard to get help with MH issues now. Its almost impossible in my borough.

I wish I knew how to help.

I hope someone can point you in the right direction.

How long has she been on the ADs? They can take quite a while to start working.

If she is willing to get help can you not take her to AA?

Have you looked into alternate suppliers of therapy? There is a charity in my area (NI) who provide cbt. They do not charge as they believe cost should not be a barrier to effective treatment but are obviously grateful for donations.

Even if such an organisation couldn't do home visits they might be able to point you toward someone who could help.

Wow, I don't think you should be supplying anything. You're not a GP (as far as I'm aware) and therefore should not be indulging her with black market goods, especially as you have no idea what's in them.

Rather than "mask" the pain, she needs some professional help, before the drink and tablet concoction start making joint appearances.

well we've managed to get a group to see her tomorrow so hopefully it's a start

completely appreciate what you are saying ladyofthemanor, although things that seem logical sometimes don't when you are in the middle of things IYSWIM

Having gone back over things I think the drinking started when her first GP went on mat leave...the new new one stopped the diazapam & slepping tablets & changed the AD's at the first visit which co-insided with the end of the counselling.........maybe it was just too much change without any other alternative assistance

God what a horrid situation for you both :-(

Please don't add a possible criminal record to the mix. You could be buying anything. Chlordiazepoxide is a benzodiazepine similar to diazepam (Valium) which is withdrawn slowly and used to help alcohol withdrawal- may be an option for a gradual stopping of both while on waiting lists?

Antidepressants are the mainstay of anxiety treatment now with counselling or other psychological therapies - but the can take 8 weeks to truly kick in - some GP's are wiling to prescribe low dose diazepam while the work?

An non statutory and charity services can be fantastic supports while waiting for MH services or other input to kick in - MIND should be able to provide some contacts.

If GP discovers non-legit sourcing of diazepam - which they will as tolerance develops quickly and ever higher doses needed - they will be unwilling to prescribe a whole range of painkillers and other drugs too.

Really hope she gets the the help she needs.

Keep us posted. I hope things work out for her.

Just please make sure you come here for a reality check the next time you contemplate it, I know you want to help but administering drugs like that may cause more harm than good :(

You should take her to the doctors, it realy wouldn't be good for her to take something she's not prescribed, also if you did it would be a short term solution when you should realy be looking at long term treatment

Also OP without wanting to scaremonger, imagine if you gave her something and they weren't what they were meant to be and she reacted badly to them - you wouldn't ever forgive yourself.

Diazepam is addictive, usual guidelines are that it should only be prescribed for short periods (like a fortnight) at a time. If your sister keeps taking it then she'll develop a tolerance and she will require a higher dose for the same effect, it is easy to end up on a very high dose. Withdrawl from diazepam is difficult and unpleasant. Illegally supplied diazepam may not be diazepam, or may not be the dose marked on it. I would say don't pass it on to someone you care about!

I second those saying to speak to her GP about how to support her while waiting for her to come to the top of the waiting list for drugs and alcohol services.