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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

name & shame - have I done wrong?

88 replies

redrosette · 24/07/2011 14:43

Okay so I used a local hairdresser who was very rude and I'd never use again. I mentioned on facebook and twitter that I'd had a bad experience and that I'd PM the name to any of my friends who wanted it.

So I sent the name to several people via PM. It wasn't public at any time, however said hairdresser has now contacted me threatening legal action for slander!

I didn't put anything publicly, only through PM to who I thought were friends, so I thought that wouldn't be illegal, its called PRIVATE message for a reason, right? Plus, my comments & experiences were 100% genuine.

This woman threatens legal action to everyone I'm told, and sends lawyers letters to everyone but nothing further happens, she seems to like causing trouble, however I'd hate to have to fork out for lawyers letters back and forth.

Thoughts welcome.

OP posts:
Cyclebump · 24/07/2011 16:25

When it comes to libel and slander people very rarely sue over things like complaining about customer service on a forum because it would be bad for the store's image to do so, particularly large reputable chains.

Check out the McLibel case as an example.

It's very expensive to launch these suits and, having worked in magazines for eight years, six of them for a large publishing house, I know it gets threatened a lot more than it gets carried out.

I suppose it depends what you said too.

I hate my haircut, I got it cut at xx is probably harmless.

My haircut is sh*t and xx, who cut it, is crap is far riskier.

eurochick · 24/07/2011 16:25

Lesser yes, but if what you said is true, you have a defence.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/07/2011 16:26

And that you describe it from your perspective and don't just say somewhere is crap.

mumzy · 24/07/2011 16:28

TL maybe it is a coincidence that there are two posts on MN today which is about naming a salon on an online forum about a terrible haircut And the latter post wants to discuss the consequences of doing so!

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 24/07/2011 16:33

I don't really think she's got a case; it would be hard to argue against it being 'fair comment'. And if she routinely threatens everyone but doesn't take it further, I'd be inclined not to worry about it.

Treelined · 24/07/2011 16:45

Mumzy Grin

MrsKravitz · 24/07/2011 17:24

I just put a really bad review on trip advisor...I hope I dont get sued

RitaMorgan · 24/07/2011 17:34

Interesting - I always write bad reviews of somewhere if I've had a shit experience, complain on twitter about poor customer service etc. Always name and shame too!

Punkatheart · 24/07/2011 17:41

People will sue and can sue only if the review is proven to be malacious. There have been some cases on Amazon recently. Tripadvisor clients are now considering suing if they have unnecessarily bad reviews - it can really affect their business.

Cyclebump · 24/07/2011 18:10

That's malicious falsehood I think Punk [tries to remember journalism libel training...]

Punkatheart · 24/07/2011 18:28

Sounds good, Cyclebump. There was a series recently about media libel and it was fascinating. Basically, columnists cannot be sued for opinion. You really have to prove that statements are false or intent to cause harm to any individual.

Longtalljosie · 24/07/2011 18:32

No, malice is an important part of defence against libel because you can give a poor opinion of a service, for example, if it's without malice.

The poster above (Lesseroftwoweevils) who suggested it was irrelevant it was a private communication is wrong. The difference between this case and hers is that the email was passed on. You can say what you like between two people, but once it's passed on to a third party, it's a different ball game. To illustrate this - you can't be sued for what you put in a letter, but you could technically be sued for what you write on a postcard because it's assumed the postman has read it.

Cyclebump · 24/07/2011 19:12

Malice is only a factor in malicious falsehood, which pertains specifically to damaging business reputations. Libel can be proved even if it was an honest mistake and you just didn't do your research. For example, the Elton John vs the Sun case where they published some awful stuff about him. They just took the word of some random guy. Elton John won, I think he got around £1m in damages, because the allegations were dreadful.

zipzap · 24/07/2011 19:19

No idea of the legalities of this but hope that you have photos as proof of the badness of your haircut at the time!

I once had a bad haircut at the cheap / quick salon in one of London's main dept stores. So bad I stopped her before she finished as she kept taking a bit of one side then the other then more and more and I was worried it was going to end up really short as she just couldn't get it level. Complained at the time - walking out with wet unfinished hair showed I was serious and I got an apology and some money off the cut. I also complained in writing to the store and they gave me an appointment with their top stylist in their expensive salon
to make amends. Which it did, still continued to have hair cut there for a while and got a fab cut for the freebie. That's what she should have been doing instead of threatening to sue!

LadyOfTheManor · 24/07/2011 19:20

It's only slander if it isn't true.

She'd have to prove otherwise, and from the photos I saw, she'd have to do a damned good job.

Tell her to jog on.

Original poster
redrosette · 24/07/2011 20:27

I am not the person who posted the other salon thread, I didn't even know there was one lol

anyway, yes I'm going to just ignore and see what happens. I think she's full of sh*t but we'll see.

OP posts:
northerngirl41 · 24/07/2011 21:41

Well for a start if you told people about it in a private communication, someone has betrayed a confidence and told the hairdresser so the friend has breached your confidentiality. (Now there is an argument to say that Facebook messages AREN'T private communications)

Secondly in order to bring a slander/libel case in the UK you need to have about £10k to bring a case like this to court - so my advice would be, tell her to go ahead and sue. Most likely she'll bog off and stop being a drama queen.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 24/07/2011 22:00

Is it really not ok to tell something like that on a private message? I assume that is the same for emails then? (Obviously Twitter is different as that is public isn't it?)

thisfantasticvoyage · 24/07/2011 22:10

OP - just to clarify here rules on slander/libel...

  • if you have said/written something about somebody else and they question it, onus is on YOU not THEM to prove it is true.
  • secondly, PM is no defence, you only need to email, PM, communicate your slander/libel to one other person for it to be a possible case.
WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 24/07/2011 22:19

But that means that if you have a shit experience somewhere then you can't tell a friend about it!

What about if you say it face to face?

If that's ok to tell face to face, then what about if you are mute and can only communicate by writing?

Orbinator · 24/07/2011 22:36

It's amazing though isn't it, when we get bombarded by junk mail we don't ask for or want from companies wasting money and ours for getting rid of it and yet we can't use modern technology to tell people our personal experiences of a company. Doesn't seem very fair, does it?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 25/07/2011 08:38

No it's not fair at all!

fedupofnamechanging · 25/07/2011 08:58

If she really did cut your hair badly and didn't do what you asked for, then she deserves criticism, public or otherwise and in that case I'd tell her to knock herself out with the legal action because the truth will be proven in court in necessary. In other words call her bluff. Be interesting to see if her response of 'grow up' and 'fuck off' is viewed as attempting to put right the problem, which she is entitled to have as a first step of a complaint.

If, otoh, you asked for something that simply doesn't suit you, then it's not her fault at all.

I think that sending a PM, is a clear indication that you intended privacy.

I would be inclined to reply saying that you intend to pursue your complaint further, unless she winds her neck in (that is, if she really has done a bad job, rather than just something you don't like).

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 25/07/2011 09:03

I agree karma

fourthattempt · 25/07/2011 09:10

Mumzy: perhaps it would be a good idea to be sure of your facts before posting.

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