to expect my PIL to treat all of her grandchildren equally?

[ehedydd]

They have 3 GC - my DS 5months, DPS 6 yrs and GD 2 yrs (SIL), the way they treat my DS is totally different from the other 2, since the day he was born they have offered us no physical, emotional or financial help with him.

They haven't asked us if we need anything for him or bought him anything whereas the other 2 are constantly having clothes and toys bought for them and money given to them, they hasn't even thought to throw in a pack of wipes when they've been shopping but they always pick things up for the others!

In the weeks after DS was born they used to come to the house and expect me to run around after them and make tea and food for them, not once did they offer to run the hoover round, make a cuppa etc.

They don't offer to look after him even for an hour or so, so me and DP can do something, last time we asked them so we could go to the cinema they said yes but when we got to the house they said they couldn't as they had to pick DPS up from school as his mother couldn't be bothered to go!

I'm beginning to feel incredibly resentful towards them and am beginning to not even want to bother taking DS to see them.

To top it all off I booked for all of us to go away for 3 nights on the condition that they gave me their share asap as I'm down to basic maternity pay now and they are coming up with excuses as to why they can't pay yet, it's now supposed to be Weds when I have the money!

Please AIBU or not or is it just me being oversensitive? DP is beginning to see but he's very defensive over his mother!!

That is not too much to expect eheddydd, to offer to make a cup of tea or to look after your DS a little, whilst they are staying with you, and to offer to lend a hand. It does seem like they are favouritising the other GC which is not on. Your DP needs to have a backbone and to talk to his parents, what about his DS feelings, do they not count

Could it just be that they're not very interested in small babies? Your son is very young and perhaps they're better with older children. What do you buy for a baby anyway, there's only so many teddies and babygroes, surely?

I too prefer older children, I think babies are a bit boring. I have friends who like the baby-stages and less so the older child stages.

Sorry that you feel hurt though, OP. Perhaps you don't have an easy relationship with your ILs and it's translating to all areas of your life, including that of your son. Could you have a chat with them and perhaps tell them how you feel?

What do they say about the ex?!

My ILs are a bit like that. Not with buying things but with looking after, taking them nice places. It's incredibly upsetting and I've posted on here before about it. They've let me down so much as my own lovely mum died and they know that I have no one else to ask. Still though they chose to help out my BIL and SIL all the time even though they have loads of babysitters helping every single week as it is.

I don't know what to suggest. One thing I did do though was stop taking my dcs to visit them. Eventually (months and months) they realised they were missing them growing up and started making an effort.