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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it is NOT Amy Winehouses familys fault that she is dead

46 replies

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 23/07/2011 21:41

Okay yes its another one, but a separate point...

On sky news, a woman being interviewed (I didnt catch who she was) said that her family "should have done more" to prevent her death. Is that not absolutely disgusting..?

OP posts:

emmanumber3 · 23/07/2011 22:12

TBH the only time I've ever seen Amy Winehouse's parents on TV they have been talking about helping her or desperately wanting to help her. A drug/alcohol addiction is so very very powerful - every expert in the field will tell you that the addict themselves has to truly want to be helped for rehabilitation to succeed. No amount of love or care from parents/loved ones can do it alone.

I feel terribly sorry for her family, no parent should be burying their child .

BulletWithAName · 23/07/2011 22:13

YANBU at all.

squeakytoy · 23/07/2011 22:23

I think it is in very very poor taste that photos are on certain news sites of the body being taken from the house. Her poor father isnt even back in the UK yet. That is completely unnecessary IMO.

BulletWithAName · 23/07/2011 22:25

Seeing her body being carried like that choked me up, squeakytoy.

IvyAndGold · 23/07/2011 22:34

Some of the comments I'm hearing/reading, when the poor girl has been dead merely hours, are utterly shameful. Of course it's not her family's fucking fault, in fact I seem to remember her father was very public with his attempts to try and put her back on the straight and narrow.

All I can hope is that none of the ignorant bastards have to go through one of their own loved ones facing depression/addiction. I'm sure they'd soon change their fucking tune then

mitfordsisters · 23/07/2011 22:38

I did not know she had died. So heartbreaking!

PumpkinBones · 23/07/2011 23:33

YANBU.

My sister's nickname amongst her circle of friends is Amy WInehouse. It's never been funny and now it's less so. It's so fucking easy to have all the answers from the outside.

chipmonkey · 23/07/2011 23:55

My sister smokes and all of our family desperately want her to stop. But as my sister is an adult of independent means, there is nothing we can do about it. Much more difficult when you are talking about hard drugs.

Amy's Dad did have her sectioned at one point so I'm sure he has done everything he could. Horrible for someone in the media to go on like that.

sunshinelifeisgood · 23/07/2011 23:58

fecks sake leave her and her family alone how would you all feel if you had a troubled family member who was doing drugs/alcohol/prostition etc being discussed. Anything nice in her memory fantastic. Anything other then fecking dont say anything :(

sue52 · 23/07/2011 23:58

No one knows the cause of death yet. It might be unrelated to drugs. It certainly was a vile thing to say about her family.

babeinthewood · 24/07/2011 00:02

YANBU those poor parents, you can only show your children the path you cant make them walk down it at the end of the day. My DSD's mother was brought up to believe most answers are at the bottom of a bottle She had a mental health problem - became an alcoholic because she didnt know how else to deal with her feelings, lost her daughter, then her life. Tragic, but true RIP Amy :(

learningtofly · 24/07/2011 00:05

I agree, its not confirmed what the cause of death is yet, it could be unrelated to her previous struggles.

The sad fact is that Amy was certainly portrayed by the media as a troubled soul and that came across in her music. I feel desperately sorry for her family and those who were close to her personally.

forehead · 24/07/2011 07:03

People who say that the family have not tried, have obviously have not experienced living with a addict.
My aunt was an addict. She was a maths graduate, who spoke 4 languages and was a kind and generous person. However, she was an addict and there was nothing the family could do.
I remember(as a child) my law abiding, hardworking mother going to a dodgy part of town in order to by cocaine for her sister who was desperate for drugs and was crying out in agony. My mother went against all her moral beliefs , because she was scared that her sister would die.The family tried their best to get help for my aunt and in the process spent a lot of money.
My aunt's personality changed, she changed from a kind ,loving person to a manipulative person. She died of a drug overdose.

Mitmoo · 24/07/2011 07:35

The poor dad was on the television a couple of years ago appealing for the people who were supplying her to stop or she would end up dead. As others have said what else could the poor man do?

khaliwali · 24/07/2011 08:06

I saw her in Dubai. She was unable to stand and fell over a couple of times. Her voice was absolutely amazing and the fact that she was out of it made no difference to her talent. We did wonder why they allowed her to stay on stage though, people were booing and throwing things at her. I think she was exploited by everyone around her.

everlong · 24/07/2011 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bandwithering · 24/07/2011 08:17

What could they do? One of her songs was "they tried to make me go to rehab but I said no".

If that doesn't tell you her state of mind, her absolute refusal to get better, than I donlt know what does.

I was even wondering this morning what the source of her demons was, as her family seemed to love her and be quite straightforward normal people...

Mitmoo · 24/07/2011 08:20

She could have started just to dabble, she could have already had mental health issues and was "self-medicating"

It will all come out in time I assume.

While it is a tragedy, the publicity will form a strong message to young people that drugs aren't just fun in the beginning but are also very dangerous and hopefully keep them off it.

catsareevil · 24/07/2011 08:42

What more could they have done?

Probably the only thing would have been to lock her up somewhere, which would have been illegal.

Even if they had decided to do that that, unless she herself had decided to change she would have gone straight back onto the drugs as soon as she could get out again.

Mitmoo · 24/07/2011 08:49

cats exactly a mother has just been jailed for doing just that a couple of months back. It is just being reported that Jewish tradition is for the body to be buried today, so the police are trying to do the post mortem early on for that to happen. Her poor father has flown back, how awful for the family.

NestaFiesta · 24/07/2011 12:20

YANBU OP. I'm glad you've said it as I've been thinking it since the news broke. People asking why her family didn't help her. Well they did! It's well documented how frustrated and worried they have been. Amy had warnings off doctors that drinking would kill her, she had four trips to rehab. She even checked herself out after a week. She had free will, she was over 18. Her parents must have been tearing their hair out. They have said so in interviews.

To put the boot in and blame them when they have lost their beloved child to the drugs they couldn't get her off... words fail me. As a mother I would hate to be them right now. My heart just breaks for them both. RIP Amy.

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