I probable am but I'm fed up with it all...

[molepom]

DS (8 but with ADHD and other learning difficulties which means he's not as clued up as other of his age)

He has been hording food in his room for no other reason than he could not even eating it. Today I found it, all of it. Chocolate, eggs, icing sugar, fruit, veg, fish fingers bascially anything he thought I wouldnt notice.

I've had enough, I am forever shopping, cleaning, clearing out rooms and picking up moldy food but today I lost it.

This morning I made him clear out his room of everything, and I mean everything, with the excpetion of the bunk bed. Toys, clothes, chest of draws, wardrobe, posters, pictures, rugs etc.

He cried thinking that I was going to bin them all but when I explained that he is to clear it all out so I can give it a bloody good and deep clean he is to put the entire lot back. Him alone.

There is to be no food and no eating until everything is back and cleaned.

This started at 10 this morning, I've been on my hands and knees and scrubbed the carpet, skirting, walls, celing, windows, the beds, the matresses and it was worth doing.

He is STILL trying to put stuff away, I refuse to help him. I believe him when he said he was sorry about the eggs and the shampoo (which I discovered while cleaning said carpet) and he hasnt eaten since breakfast at around 8 this morning.

What can I do now?

Do I give in, help him and we can eat or do I stick to my guns?

I'll try the box thing, infact there is a small suitcase he's taken a shine to. I'll use that.- he's done it before with other things like tools (not sharp ones, just odd things), toys, paper, pens all depending on what his "thing" is at the time. I wish he was back to hording vouchers now, they were eaiser to pick up.

Izzy, he loves growing things. I have a garden FULL of fruit, flowers, plants and all my windowsills are choc full of pots and god knows whatever else. To be honest, I think that is more along his lines of thinking.

"If I can grow plants and herbs and flowers, can I grow chickens (after a school trip to a farm) and fish (next doors pond)".

The Little Bugger! That's what he's trying to do and that's where he's got it from.

I'm hesitant over the science kit and the last one he had exploded, and there are still copper sulphate stains up the kitchen wall which I havent got round to painting over.

Will definatly do the box/suitcase thing and get more seeds in for him to do.

Some really good suggestions here. :)

I don't think he has food issues, OP, I'd be beside myself too at having to keep clearing up this completely unnecessary mess all the time. Does he see what happens to the food when it goes off?

Perhaps the suggestions from the other posters are for things that you can do together and hopefully that will sort out his quest for knowledge without the storing of rotten eggs in the bedroom...

Lying. I wonder if it would be worth getting him to take pictures of certain foods when they rot over a period of time but in a controlled environment like...er....a sealed box kept either outside or in the fridge? Sort of like a diary? (which will go hand in hand with the diary he's made at school with the eggs/chick hatching)

Maybe, molepom. It sounds like a plan anyway. You could put some bread on a dish and watch it develop moulds, mashed potatoes are also good, bruised apples. Tell him all about honey that is the only foodstuff that will never go off... you could give him a jar of that for his room.... just kidding

It sounds like he's got lots of ideas in his head, they just need reigning in a bit and some supervision.

Thats exactly what it is. Unnecessary mess to me but to him it's an experiment. He is a very inquisitive child, he wants to know who things are made, where do they go, when happens to the rubbish in the bins, how things are put together (this one I found while hoovering up 100 or so screws which came from all his toys).

It's just that after months of trying to get it into his head that although I dont mind him doing stuff like this, the is a line that needs to be drawn, ie. dont help yourself to stuff when I am asleep during the wee small hours.

I'd get him involved in food preparation too, moleprom, doing stuff with you rather than on his own. Perhaps that would wean him off it? If he can get the idea that stealing/storing food in his room means he has to clear everything out and that there's no time for nice activities, he will hopefully make the link.

Is he too young for a chemistry set or somesuch? Trips to a science museum and a farm might be nice too.

It's a trip to the farm which has made me think he trying to grow chicks! The last science experiment is still halfway up the kitchen walls ( and none of us thought it would have exploded but hey, at least it's a pretty colour) from DD's science kit.

He is involved in food preperation (he can make a much nicer soup than I can now) and his pastry isnt to be sniffed at either so that's already in hand.

I've just had a quick chat with him now he's finished, and he's got my suitcase in the understanding that he collects things in there. He's pretty sure he's not going to keep food in his room again as he "doesnt want to tidy up again", but that remains to be seen and he's actually said without me asking that he was trying to grow chicks and showed he one he had in the pillowcase wrapped up in half a roll of toilet tissue - so that confirms who ever said that he was trying to grow stuff.

I love his logic and way of thinking and most days me makes me laugh with it but at times you think to yourself "for the love of god, will you please just THINK differently so there isnt as much stuff to clean up/replace/find".

I would have let him stop for a meal and then sent him back.

I understand the punishment, my ds wasn't allowed to play out last sunday until he had tidied the playroom (it was a real tip) and I refused to help because he made the mess so he ended up being there for nearly 4 hours. he stopped for lunch half way through. Food is energy to carry on working.

I do understand your frustration though.

I think, that when you have a child that is challenging in a way that most kids shouldnt be, but shows intelligence and logic and humour in a way that others sometimes dont it can be draining.

Sometimes when he demonstates great understanding and abilities such as fixing things ie, door bell, remote, freeview box or building a game made with a battery, wires and lightbulbs and then he does something stupid like putting a hole in the celing, hording stuff, breaking toys, empyting bottles of shampoo/shower gel for no immidiate apparent reason you just stop and wonder why he does these stupid annoying things when you think that he should know better.

I dont know, it's difficult to describe.

I think I probably sounded a bit harsh in first post, sorry. For what it's worth he sounds like a fab little chap and very bright tho like you say just in a different way to other kids :-) Did you say he wa in the autistic spectrum or 'only' ADHD?

Was on even...

molepom, i know exactly what you mean. ds1 has asperger's and his understanding of some things is just incredible... and yet with others he just, well, he has no common sense! and it is very frustrating

i think the box idea is really good. a safe place for him to keep his things. do you have a local farm or anything he could visit to find out about rearing chicks? perhaps that would be enough to sate his curiosity. you could also maybe look it up online and see how you need special equipment if you don't have a hen (incubators etc) and how at home you don't have all that so it's really not going to work, and anyway what would you do with a chick even if you did hatch one?? lol

I wanted to add something else though, with regard to helping him clear up a mess he has made. This is something I struggle with myself, so I hope I don't sound preachy when I say it because I often forget and then have to keep reminding myself.
But I read soemthing once (poss in unconditional parenting) about helping our children when we can. So when they've made a godawful mess and we have told them they have to tidy it up that's fine.... but we can also use it as a way of showing them that we will help them when they need help. if it's a really big job we can then model behaviour we want to see "ds, i am going to help you tidy up because it's a really big job and I want to help you, even though you made the mess yourself" kind of thing?
basically trying to teach them that it's a nice thing to help others, even though you don't have to or even if you're helping them with somethjing they brought on themselves iyswim?

InFlame, the way I posted the original post was not really clear so I understand why people reacted the way they did. I would have said the same things now I have read that post after I have calmed down. I'm tired and have not been sleeping well for a number of months now. I know he has other aspects in the austism spectrum ( his obsession with electrics being one) but getting this diagnosed is proving to be difficult as they want to get his ADHD in control first to help him at school as he is a good 2 years behing the rest of his class. He has only been diagnosed with this for a couple of months and we are still tweaking his medication at the moment to get the right balance. So the rest will have to wait a little longer.

TIY, Usually that is exactly how I deal with him, but today it was just too much and I reacted badly.

Over dinner I explained about how I reacted and asked him to think about how he would react if someone had done this to him. He did recognise that he would be angry and upset and apologised for the eggs. He's loving the suitcase (which now has a collection of various clothes and toys in) so that may be a step forward. I have also reinforced that he does not need to help himself to everything and that all he had to do was ask. This is something that he just needs to be kept reminding on I think.

I have to remember that he does not learn these things as quick as his sister did and it's going to take a lot more time with him.

Don't tell him hoarding food will attract rodents for goodness sake. Some of us (especially Aspies) actually like rats

Do you have any pets?

Lovely image of him packing Bits and bobs away :-) Must be bloody knackering for you tho - do you get any down time?

No pets as yet. As much as I would love another pet I just cant afford it and dont have the time for it. Too much is taken up with the kids, especially ds. I'm trying to look for a part time job too so it not fair having a pet when I either dont have the time for it, or am not in.

We used to have a dog when exp was here and I was at home with the kids but due to ill health he had to be put down, ever since, the house to me has been that little bit empty. DS is taking up so much of my time at the moment, even when he is in school I just dont have the time, energy, money or patience to look after and train another mind, even if it is animal. It's not fair on the poor thing.

I dont like cats, fish has been something we have talked about but it seems like a lot of money for something that they will loose interest in a few months later. I looked into hamsters, rabbits, guinnie pigs etc but I dont fancy having those. As for reptiles, forget it. The cost alone is too much.

Just wondered as he seemed to be trying to hatch chicks :) Sorry about your dog.

smile belongs to hatching chicks.

He'll have great fun making batteries from fruit: www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=12&ved=0CFQQtwIwCw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DAY9qcDCFeVI&rct=j&q=fruit%20battery%20power&ei=1l0rTvOpK4TQhAeM6MGqCw&usg=AFQjCNEEQRGL_oFyykSNc7WUuJZkyqvI0g&cad=rja

what about one of those electronic pets? like a tamagotchi?

Or one of those puppies/kittens programs?