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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to STORM into school tomorrow and punch a teacher right in the fucking mouth?

115 replies

HeyMumma · 21/07/2011 20:24

NOT REALLY, I am a lady and would never dream of doing such a thing! Just wanted more replies to this thread.

DD (Yr9) took her options earlier this year. We were told that if there were any concerns with the choices made we would be invited to discuss it by the end of May. We did not hear anything. Had a parents evening a few weeks ago where we met next year's tutor and again nothing was said. On this evening we were also given a letter confirming the options and DD had got what she wanted which included Triple Science.

Got a call tonight from the school (last day of term tomorrow), saying that they are concerned that DD may not be able to keep up with Triple science and they strongly advise she does not take it Hmm. She is on target for Science but is behind in Maths which we are aware is a problem and will be taking steps to deal with over the summer holidays (summer cancelled for DD, she will be STUDYING).

AIBU to be furious they have decided this with only one school day before she starts Yr10 when she will be start studying what she has chosen? DD is adamant she wants to do Triple Science and we are behind her, hence the summer home schooling. Can we insist she does it? When I asked if she has a choice, I did not get a straight answer.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 21/07/2011 22:17

That sounds horrible saying she is useless. She isn't really, she just doesn't 'get' maths naturally. Neither do I. I am not a natural mathematician, studying and working as an engineer hasn't been easy because of it tbh. I have always had to work hard at it.

What would have put me off FOR LIFE would have been forced to do 2 hours of maths a day in my summer holidays aged 15.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/07/2011 22:19

DD has had the suggestion 'try and watch a shakespearian play' Hmm

She has asked if I could watch Romeo and Juliet and tell her what happens Grin

uggmum · 21/07/2011 22:22

I would be annoyed with the school but I would also try to work with them. They may have genuine concerns. If your dd feels confident that she can keep up and really likes triple science then I would try to persue it.

However, I have a rule in my house that holidays are for relaxing. No school work is done during this time. All books are put away. My dc work all year and 6 weeks of fun is absolutely fine by me. Two hours of Maths a day is far too much. Why don't you get her a tutor in September if she is really struggling. After a relaxing holiday she may go back more focused rather than hating Maths as she missed out on summer.

Mitmoo · 21/07/2011 22:23

*DD has had the suggestion 'try and watch a shakespearian play'

She has asked if I could watch Romeo and Juliet and tell her what happens*

Tell her to research it on Sparke Notes.

Rhinestone · 21/07/2011 22:23

GetOrf - brief synopsis of Romeo and Juliet for your DD -

Boy meets girl, they kill themselves.

Hope that helps! Grin

bibbitybobbityhat · 21/07/2011 22:24
GetOrfMoiLand · 21/07/2011 22:26

rhinestone that is what I told her - a couple of young kids meet, end up all Twilight nonsensical love story, they kill themselves after a fawlty towers nonsensical mix up, and it was all the nurse's fault.

She just rolled her eyes at me.

I got an A* in english lit and didn't read any of the set text - Henry V and Lord of the Rings - just read the Lett's notes.

bestfootforwards · 21/07/2011 22:30

Unpleasant thread title aside, yanbu to be annoyed with the school for the short notice
BUT YAB very U to cancel summer for your dd. She needs to rest and recover, the next four years will be pretty relentless. School is a marathon not a sprint, no point pushing her so hard now that she rebels/ goes off the rails before she even takes her gcses. Universities and employers want to see well rounded people, far better she spends her time doing sports/ socialising/ reading/ relaxing/ travelling. Plus do you really want to do battle with her every day over this, I can see that really damaging your relationship with her.

Bogeyface · 21/07/2011 22:38

Why is it that when someone is stressed and upset and rants in the title, there are ALWAYS people who ignore the issue and get all snooty and stupid over said title?!

FFS! Get a grip! If she had titled it "AIBU to want to carbomb the options organisers home" or "Can I post anthrax to the staff room" then fair enough, but a simple angry over reaction is something we have all done, including the "holier than thous"! And if it bothers you that much, why bother replying?

OP, my DD is the same age as yours, she is starting her GCSE year in September too and I would be bloody fuming that they left it this late after their assurances. If she is able enough to do triple science then I am sure that she will soon get to where she needs to be maths-wise over the summer.

But let her have some fun too, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy you know Wink :)

bibbitybobbityhat · 21/07/2011 22:41

Erm, bogey, because she said "Just wanted more replies to this thread".

Bogeyface · 21/07/2011 22:44

Why does that make it offensive?

It isnt! A pissed off parent is ranting, and posted what she actually felt because she knew more people would read it, rather than the sanitised version as a sop to people who look for things to be offended by!

iggagog · 21/07/2011 22:45

I haven't read the OP as I'm too pissed off at the title - let's hope attention seeking behaviour isn't part of the op's dc's problems. I find that title a mixture of really really childish and fucking offensive.

bibbitybobbityhat · 21/07/2011 22:46

No. She posted that because she is attention-seeking.

cory · 21/07/2011 22:48

Are you really cancelling a child's holiday because they do 2 hrs a day for 4 weeks out of 6? Feeling a bit guilty now as this is probably about what dd (same age) is planning to do to catch up with work she has missed over the year due to medical problems. If my calculations are correct, that still leaves her with about 11 hours a day to have fun (assuming that she needs 11 hrs sleep). Plenty of 15yos have holiday jobs; I don't see why a bit of studying, provided she wants to do it, is worse.

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/07/2011 22:51

I think it is just a forcible 'Ii will make her do 2 hours of maths study a day'. Sounds rather over zealous. And it does do them good to leave the academic stuff alone for a coupl e of weeks, god knows they are going to be immersed in it from Sept - June next year.

Bogeyface · 21/07/2011 22:53
Hmm :o
iggagog · 21/07/2011 22:59

If you have to start with violence or threats of violence, it would suggest you've lost the argument already!
(Just musing on the reaction if a teacher started a thread about wanting to smack a pupil in the face, just to get more replies..)

Tortu · 21/07/2011 23:04

Gah, they're just 'strongly advising'. Feel free to ignore that advice.

In the school's defence, the problem has clearly arisen because it required two departments to liase, which they obviously only did when the end of year grades came out and realised there was a difficulty. The 'strongly advise' bit is probably based on their past experience. However, if I phrased it to parents like that, I would be relieved if they came back to me and reassured me that their child would be studying over the summer and was driven enough to achieve. This shows that a parent is supportive and also that the child is really motivated and keen. I know very few teacher who would argue with that scenario!

If you are confident that this is the case, go for it. So, so, much research suggests that attainment is based more on effort than intelligence anyway. Maybe your child just hasn't been bothering with maths this year?

lovesicecream · 21/07/2011 23:05

Wouldn't blame them! Have you seen some of today's teenagers?

BustersOfDoom · 21/07/2011 23:40

On Tuesday DP and I went to DS's graduation ceremony. He now has a BSc Hons. He had cancer when he was young and it was a day we never thought we would ever see. He wasn't expected to survive.

He struggled to learn, he failed most of his GCSEs and had to re-sit his A Levels. Radiotherapy does that you know. But no summers were ever cancelled! Life really, really is too fecking short!

Let her have a rest and come back to the subject fresh. Forcing someone to study never works. And something achieved willingly is more precious than anything as my lovely DS would tell you.

marriedinwhite · 21/07/2011 23:47

I think I would send in a polite note asking why they have let you know so late in the term that they don't think dd shoudl do triple science and request an urgent meeting in September to resolve it. The important thing is that it is resolved in a way that supports your daughter to achieve to the best of her abilities in the long term. Does she really want to do triple science or is something you want for her?

kipperandtiger · 21/07/2011 23:54

There's something wrong with the school sending a letter allocating her Triple Science and then phoning (sounds very cloak and dagger) to discourage you from taking it.
I say let her take it and stick with the tutor. Your DD sounds a smart and determined girl! Triple Science is a good combination, will open lots of doors. IMHO better to get C's in triple science than A's in graphics/media studies/sociology/soft subjects, unless the school is suggesting that she will achieve better grades in Latin+Geography+History - did they say what subjects they are offering her instead? (apologies to those who took and enjoyed the above three subjects as part of a balanced curriculum,...however OP's daughter doesn't seem to be being offered a balanced curriculum!)
You don't have to cancel summer altogether for your DD. 3 hours of tutoring each week (1h, 3 days a week), 2-3 hours of studying per day - that's still lots of daylight hours left to go to cinema/park/beach/sports/whatever hobby she likes, and the time out of the house is helpful (nay, compulsory) for someone studying to give her a break and let the work sink in. Do not let her study 6-8 hours a day - it will be counterproductive. There is even time to go on a one week holiday with the family - it will be good for recharging batteries. Just schedule one extra hour with the tutor the week you get back. Don't overdo it - she'll be fine.
I say all this confidently because I was in the exact same situation with maths and physics and had a tutor in Year 10. Still managed to have a good summer; just watched a bit less tv than usual.

custardismyhamster · 21/07/2011 23:59

GetOrf can your DD watch the Romeo and Juliet film? I love that film and that may well get her a bit more interested without being 'work' as such.

Also 10 things I hate about you is (losely) based on Taming of the Shrew and a very good 'teenagey' type film

kipperandtiger · 22/07/2011 00:01

GetOrfMoiLand - hasn't your DD seen the Leonardo diCaprio/Claire Danes Romeo and Juliet (Baz Luhrmann's version?) It pretty much uses the original lines, surprisingly not much different from many stage productions. Teens nowadays are lucky - we had to make do with the Olivia Hussey version which was good but a bit old fashioned for teens. That said if your DD is under 14, I'm not so keen - the Luhrmann version uses guns to replace swords.

kipperandtiger · 22/07/2011 00:02

Haha - custard and I thought the same thing at the same time!