to be really angry at £25 per day bank charges and no idea when they take it?

[marykat2004]

DH has ONE standing order on his account. He is such an idiot he can't even have ONE standing order and understand that he has to leave enough in the bank to pay it.

But what REALLY makes me angry is that he is charged £25 per day by the bank, BUT they take their fee "21 days after the end of the blah blah blah" which makes no sense even to me let alone to an idiot like DH. SO, they will take their FEE at random, some 21 days after a random date, and the DH will be unprepared for it again and then he will be overdrawn again and then he will be charged a fee again. And so it will continue.

This is a way for the bank to rob from the poor, making it impossible to tell when they are going to take their overdraft fees.

Why can't they at least TELL YOU WHEN they are taking the fee so you can be prepared???

Sounds like you've got more on your plate than a few bank charges marykat.

"There are worse men out there, ones who would run the joint account out of control, too. "

You do realise this is 2011, don't you?

You are worth a damn sight more than that.

So am I.

Do not lower your expectations for this man child; because that's what you're doing. Set the bar so low if he exceeds it he's brilliant - but it's not what most other women would put up with these days.

I've taught my DDs and DS to treat their life partner with a damn sight more respect than you seem to be getting from your "D"H.

but you already know this. if you are content to stick with such a man, it's your choice. just don't pretend he's a good one by comparing relatively to other examples of shit fathers and shit husbands that you know.

p.s. You might want to check out the Money Saving Expert forums for a more supportive environment re: family finances. Their debt board is particularly rich with advice (practical and other) regarding dealing with a financially incompetent partner.

Honestly, check it out - it sounds like you need more advice than AIBU on MN is able to provide, and there are many people in similar situations as you find yourself.

I left Natwest because of this. I went 2.50 overdrawn because they charged me for currency, and then they would charge me for being overdrawn, but not tell me for two weeks, so by the time I'd paid in to cover the original 2.50 and the charge, I had already been overdrawn for two more weeks and they would charge me again. I've never had ANY trouble like this from ANY bank. I even got a charge back from HSBC.

Your DH really should buck up his ideas and change bank.

This is what I would do:

1. Ring their customer helpline thingy now and find out when the charge is going to be applied and ask if there is anything to be done to avoid it and beg and grovel
2. If no joy there, go into branch tomorrow with cash to cover S/O, beg and grovel. If no good, confirm when charge is coming out

That is what your DH needs to do. It is his account.

Then (if I were you) I would think OK DH is shit at money, I am good at it, we should arrange it so that I handle the finances. DH has lots of other things he is good at, we can't all be good at everything, fair enough.

Then, if I thought, but DH isn't good at much else, really. Then that is a much more difficult question and I would recommend the relationships board.

natwest website says the charges are taken 21 days from the end of the charging period and then says the charging period normally ends on the date the statement is issued - so they will come out 21 days from the date mentioned on the statement. I cant see a £25 charge anywhere. They charge £6 per day on unauthorised overdrafts over £6 and charge £6 to return an item (can have a maximum charge of £60 in a charging period for returned items)

My bank tells me which day it's coming out on my online banking - the charges section. I'm with HSBC and I normally ring up and if I haven't gone over for at least 6 months they credit it.

you can also set up text alerts and get a mini statement sent to your phone whenever you want with natwest (I also get the balance of the account sent to my phone on a weekly basis). I used it when we were in tunisia 2 weeks ago! The also do Act Now Alerts which would let you know that a transaction will be making you go overdrawn or is being returned.