to withold the biscuit?

[ProjectGainsborough]

Had playdate yesterday with little girl about 2 months older than DS' 2 years. She's obviously a wee bit further up the developmental ladder than we are, which is fine (not expecting full sentances, confident potty usage, etc from DS just yet) but she religiously said 'please' and 'thank you' at every opportunity. Which was nice.

DS is a lovely child, but refuses to say 'please', 'thank you' or - when appropriate - 'sorry'. It's not that he can't say these words, but that he refuses to. My mum's advice is withold the biscuit (or whatever) until he produces the magic word, but he really really won't. He will cry, storm, go without biscuits for days, but will not give in.

Am I expecting too much from him? Should I persevere, or is the biscuit-witholding cruel?

Deal with it now if you can, but I wouldn't make a huge point about it.

My DS (2yo) ALWAYS says please and thank you. My DD (nearly 5) hardly ever does to my shame!! I never insisted on it with her really, and I wish I had. Its very embarrassing when she get corrected by family members.

Hes 2 ....

I get that he's young- my friend had the same but they're only 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 attitude about most things - she has horrible DC (not nice to say, I know, but sadly true)- insulting, rude, aggressive, violent, tantrum throwing and generally unpleasant. Leading by example and having standards are good things. No reason to shout, berate or punish a 2 year old (or anyone of any age for that matter) but not handing over a biscuit and moving away from play are not excessive at any age.

Agree with DoMeDon and have to ask...does your user name refer to Don Draper?

Hands off catgirl

But I think I might actually love him

Let it go - he will never love another (once I get my wicked way )

Plans are in motion - he won't know what hit him!!!

I don't withold stuff. I've just always said please and thank you to DS and around DS and he has just picked it up as what you say, in the same way as he picked up hello, goodbye, and any other word you might care to think of which is used in particular situations.

He's 2.9 now and uses it most of the time, sometimes with a reminder, but I haven't ever needed to withold things.

at least let me have a go when you get bored.....

Course

He is a dream though, eh! I wuff him a bit too

My DS was just like yours at 2, now 3 and says please, thankyou, you're welcome 9/10 and tbh his speech is about a year behind so bloody amazing for his current ability. I never held things up until he preformed, i just ALWAYS said, please, thankyou, you're welcome unil he naturally copied me. The Inlaws tried a few times to make him say things until i explained (went off on one) that they werent helping, he will get there and my way will be less stressful!

ds (ASD / learning disability) would never have picked up manners without a load of reinforcing - he couldn't copy / mimic for years. I did insist that he either sign or said please, thank you, parden and sorry (even when I had to physically help him sign).

I am so glad I did. Ds is obviously disabled and he has very little speech but his manners always gets a smile from everyone he meets.