To be put off a guy for these reasons?

[TheLastSong]

I met a guy at work just before christmas. I'd known him a while but never thought of him as anything over than a colleague. Anyway he asked me out for a drink and during this drink he told me he used to be morbidly obese. I reacted with "wow you've done so well to lose it all!" and he reluctantly admitted then that he'd had a gastric band 3 years ago and that's how he lost the weight. I tried not to dwell on this on just concentrate on the person he is now. So we arranged to go out again and this time he decided to come clean and admit that actually it wasn't a gastric band, it was a gastric bypass but he lied as the bypass somehow seemed worse the lying was a massive red flag tbh but I gave him the benefit of the doubt as he'd come clean so quickly. Anyway to the point, when I first got with him after christmas he weighed 14.2stone. I can't help but notice that all he ever seems to do is snack on biscuits and crisps. He weighed himself on my new scales this morning and he now weighs 15st. He admitted that he'd had a lot to eat recently and needed to cut down. It then came out that he's been buying huge take-away deals such as "one 10" pizza, one large chicken kebab with chips, one 1/2lb cheese burger with chips, one garlic bread and one large bottle of coke for £15" for himself and his son around once a fortnight, sometimes weekly.

Why the hell would anyone eat like this after having such drastic weight loss surgery???

Another worry is that he told me he was declared bankrupt 3 years ago. He got thousands of pounds worth of debt wiped off and now I find out he recently took out a provident loan which he didn't pay for months and once that all blew up he paid it off and has, in the past few weeks been applying for more loans, credit cards and car finance.

He never seems to learn his lesson no matter how bad things get! Now to me, he's really nice, we have fun, he is funny and I like him a lot and I know this other stuff is really nothing to do with me but AIBU to find it all a bit off-putting?? I mean, how many times can a person royally cock up before learning his or her lesson??

but spending £15 on takeaway is a money thing not a food thing - perfectly possible to overeat on a budget - trust me I know

gaining 10lbs in 6 months isn;t going to kill him Aunty (not that I'm saying its good mind you) and its quite possible that as he has used two different scales for the two weights that it isn;t even accurte anyway.

I am slightly surprised that he is able to eat the volume of takeaway you mention.

He tends to spread them out over a few hours. So he'll eat as much as he can say around 6pm. He'll then say he's full and put the rest in the fridge. At 7pm he'll say he's hungry again and eat some more - again at 8pm etc.

He was warned that in time his stomach would stretch to accomodate the amount of food he ate on a regular basis.

Oh and last week his doctor told him his cholesterol was too high so why carry on eating in this way :(

gosh, I thought on the gastic bypass surgery, you cannot eat normal size portions or fatty food again as your body rejects it? if this man had this surgery on the nhs then he's a loser, as we, the taxpayers paid and he's screwing it all up.

Well I am vast so am in no position to comment on his lack of eating self-control. The money issues would be a big concern to me, in that they could have a direct impact on you if you were to become more serious as a couple. Not gonna tell you to bin a bloke who weighs less than I do but whatever you do, never get financially linked to him in any way.

No brainer - run for the hills. Cannot believe you would even stop to consider.

"so why carry on eating in this way" - because he isn't able to stop. When someone overeats to this degree after gastric surgery and the pain and commitment it entails I think its a sign that they are truly addicted to food. And I don't say that often.

I have changed my mind and decided the food and money things are linked from what you have said especially coupled with the gambling - he has a massively addictive personality.

I think thats difficult enough to deal with in someone you love, but someone you just like... why would you get enmeshed any further?

He is looking to you to be his new mummy. Tell me you haven't let him move in with you yet...