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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not sure whats going on here

46 replies

maypole1 · 19/07/2011 08:57

right I will start at the start, three weeks ago my son wanted to ask a girl to the prom so I said well yoU better ask the mum first because she might not like it so he asked the mum she seemed very pleased that he had taken time out to ask her first,

She gave the green light and my son asked the girl the next day the girl said yes so I talked to the mum after and said we will make arrangements in a couple of weeks

Mean while son has been Saving pocket money to buy a corsage for her two weeks ago we were at the flower shop I text the mum asking what colour the girl would liked she didn't text me back for 3 days saying she had left her phone at her sisters hmm

Then I text her with the details last week prom is tomorrow btw saw her 2 days after she said she didn't get the text and had lost her phone so I asked her if she could send me her address so we can pick the girl up she said she has ny number written down at home and she would text it to me

Now I still haven't received anything , do you think this lady is messing a about Or what

To be honest I don't really care if the girl comes or not but she did agree and if she dose not want to come any more I really think the mum should just say instead of making excuses and then just not bothering

Do you think she is just leaving it till tonight ?

Do you think she or her girl have changed their mind ?

Do you think it rude not to just have
a quite word with me instead of pretending she will text me ?

I have told my son he may be going solo already.

OP posts:

Original poster

maypole1 · 19/07/2011 09:27

I wouldn't have thought so their not very well off she was talking about going to the charity shop to see about a dress for The girl on Thursday

Thanks ladies nothing to be done really barbers tomorrow and I will press his suit today he has decided not to wear a tie but wants a cravat so I will have to see what marks has got

OP posts:

ituneless · 19/07/2011 09:29

I am sorry if your son is sad or disappointed that this girl and her Mum have changed there mind about it all.

also

Proms, Limos, Dates, Prom Dresses/Suits, Corsages for 11 year olds beyond ridiculous , - shame on you all for even being a part of it.

ituneless · 19/07/2011 09:30

their not there

InfestationofLannisters · 19/07/2011 09:32

I don't think they even have them in America for this age group. I've had to put my foot down about a lot of things and have spent weeks explaining to DD that it will exactly the same as the school discos she goes to three times a year except it's just for her year.

No false hair, eyelashes, nails, tan.

ruddynorah · 19/07/2011 09:34

Maybe the mum thought it was cute your son asked. But then it all seemed a bit much with your texts and the corsage. Does she want a corsage? I mean I know they call them proms but aren't they just a disco? When they get there the boys will dance together, and the girls will dance together. No need for pairing up.

filthyfunkproject · 19/07/2011 09:34

What's the point in having all these 'let girls be girls' campaigns ( let boys be boys too btw, the campaign should have been called 'let children be children') when we've got mothers -( and it's never the fathers organising all this shite) , and schools, organising 'proms' 'dates' and limos for 11 year olds? - do we blame this behaviour on a few dodgy T.Shirts Tesco's sold - I'm not sure we can.

Original poster

maypole1 · 19/07/2011 09:34

Well their having a 3 course dinner served by the teachers dressed as waiters and its formal dress, he's wearing his church suit, brought the corsage out of his own money and the only money I am paying out if for his hair cut and cravat

OP posts:

Original poster

maypole1 · 19/07/2011 09:38

Some of the girls have had dress made by dress makers apparently theirs a lady every one uses

And like I said I wasn't even aware their was a limo being booked until the letter came home about were the limos should park as I wasn't invited to the meeting.

My oh is taking him

OP posts:

ituneless · 19/07/2011 09:38

Oh, maypole1 your DS sounds ever so sweet, - but really don't you think it's all a bit daft?

filthyfunkproject · 19/07/2011 09:42

Hair cut and cravat? - are you sure you're not taking the piss?

Ephiny · 19/07/2011 09:45

It does seem a bit ridiculous at that age. Nothing wrong with an end of year disco, but the rest of it....

Maybe as a general rule, if children are too young to arrange their own dates without their mums being involved, they're probably too young to be dating in the first place! Does it really matter if this girl comes or not, does your son have other friends in the class who are going, or will he be standing around awkwardly if she's not there?

It's a shame if he's wasted money on a corsage for her, though that seems a bit weird and OTT in the first place for kids of their age. Maybe the other mum/girl are a bit scared off by how seriously you're taking it all. It's only a primary school disco, after all, it's just a bit of fun!

pubquizhurtmybrain · 19/07/2011 09:47

Agree with the majority of posters here who think 11 is too young to be encouraging dates etc. However the mum agreed to the date in the first place and should now be polite/grown up enough to let the OP know that she has changed her mind, pure rudeness IMO.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 19/07/2011 09:48

What ruddynorah said.

I think you might have scared the other mother off.

Original poster

maypole1 · 19/07/2011 09:50

He has a wild Afro at the moment I don't know about you but like I said the letter has stated this is a Formal do so yes he is getting his Afro trimmed.

Also why should he not were a cravat he dose not want to wear a tie and asked what else he could were we gave him the options bow tie, cravat Ect when we looked on google pictures he like the look of the cravats their fairly cheap so I really don't have a issue.

OP posts:

MumblingRagDoll · 19/07/2011 09:51

God I feel for you OP.....maybe MN should have a Ban Proms for Kids protest. It's terrible putting them throughh this social stress when they should still be catching frogs in anoraks.

I have no advice. If it were me I would be empted to book something unmissable for DS to do instead. Does he really want to go? I can't imagine 11 year ld boys enjoying wearing a cravat!

porcamiseria · 19/07/2011 09:58

they are far too young for this shit, really, hence why its gone a bit messy, fortunately at 11 he is young eough not to be heartbroken, chalk it down to experience

dont be too upset, they are far too yound for this hence why its awkward, and assume he is going solo!!!

onadifferentplanettoday · 19/07/2011 09:58

Have just asked ds' 13 and nearly 16 if they know what a corsage is ,oldest just looked at me blankly (mind you did interrupt his xboxing to ask!). Youngest said he thought it had something to do with dressing up like in High School Musical. Kind of sums up the whole prom thing really!

filthyfunkproject · 19/07/2011 09:58

Fair enough - it's just Most 11 year olds haven't got Noel Coward as their style icon. -

NerfHerder · 19/07/2011 10:02

Yes mumbling- it's hardly letting 'kids be kids' is it, proms for 11yo?

Maypole- your DS sounds lovely I hope he has a lovely time, whatever happens.

webwiz · 19/07/2011 10:53

I think if it was one of my DDs I'd be a bit alarmed by all the corsage thing and would have got them out of the situation. I don't like the idea of young children playing at relationships and if it was my DS I would have strongly discouraged him from asking someone to the prom.

My three did have very low key leavers things in year 6 which were appropriate to their age.

heleninahandcart · 19/07/2011 11:22

Don't touch the fro! :) well please ask the barber just to light trim it, he'll look great with his afro and suit. No reason why an afro can't be at a formal do.

I think the whole thing is fraught with difficulty generally, too much pressure for no reason. I would ask this woman directly asap face to face, then you and your lovely DS will know and he can just enjoy it rather than worry.

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