Another Party Issue!

[kevlarbrassiere]

My soon to be 7 ds is having a small birthday at home.

Our house is tiny, so he can only have 4 friends, and we wouldn't be able to accommodate parents (living room only 12ft by 12ft). All his friends have had numerous playdates here, so dropping and leaving won't be an issue, for all but one child's(who has been here loads of time) parents.

Last year, same set up with the party at the house (invitations explained that it was a drop and leave). One child's parents insisted on staying, along with their 2 toddler twins and small baby. I just embarrassedly said "ooh, did ye not read the invite, we are a bit squashed for space". Dad said that they didn't want to leave him alone. Dh said, "that's ok then, why doesn't the missus stay and ye can come back". Both of them just shrugged that off and made themselves comfy.

Their toddlers had a hard time, no space for them to play, the then party goer 6 year olds ran about, having fun, but upsetting the baby, they told everyone off, and finally, the toddlers wrecked havoc on the food. I am not exaggerating - they just flung food out of bowls, etc (lots of this just toddler behaviour, I know), and the parents busied themselves with the sky remote control (asking the children to get out of their way, etc).

The party wasn't alot of fun for those attending, and I swore never again at that time! And now its upon us again.

We have talked about it at length, and I think it would be awful not to invite that boy (other parents have started to do this, as ours was not the only episode, but probably the smallest house!!!).

AIBU if I stand outside the door and refuse to let him in if his parents insist on coming in again? My dh would be inside entertaining (hah!) the others, so they wouldn't be aware/unsupervised. As this family come late to everything, it would be possible to do this.

I really don't know what else to do.

That is beyond poor social skills; it makes me wonder what the hell is going on within that family.

Well, at least you don't have to worry abut being curt. They were beyond rude, so clearly that's the language they speak.

Wow, they sound like something from little Britain!

What bizarre people! And surely after that other (saintly by the sounds of it, for offering to put up with them) mother offered to go to the park with them they should have decided to go and join her there! How odd to sit in a car with toddlers for 2 hours! Good for you for not letting them in. I bet their son had a lovely time without them there for a change! Don't let them put you off having parties - it's their problem if they don't want to make alternate arrangements instead of going to a party, not yours. When you have clearly told them there is no room for them (and no need when the children are 7 for goodness sake!) then it is their own fault if they feel they need to sit in a car for 2 hours!

They have problems.

That is seriously odd. Like, really seriously odd. Having lost the battle, they chose to sit in a car for two hours with toddlers and a baby (who's be well over one by now, right? And thus mobile?) rather than go to the park, to make a point.

If they were actually normal but a bit precious about their son being unattended, wouldn't they just have insisted that he come outside again and they all go home? WEIRD.

That's madness! You did very well Kevlar.

It just sounds like at least one of the parents has to remain in tight control of the family at all times, and that means monitoring them at all times. I have known two families like that, and abuse was involved. I am NOT saying there is abuse in this family, just that there must be some level of dysfunction operating internally, as well as externally.

And if they're showing that level of oddness in public, I shudder to think what's going on behind closed doors. I mean, it can't have been a bundle f laughs inside that car, can it?

What with the soft play incident, it sounds like a combination of weirdness and freeloading. No doubt they were looking forward to a nice easy afternoon with party food, your Sky TV and you having to look after all their children. Presumably they didn't go to the park (i) in case you cracked and let them in; and (ii) because then they'd have had to look after the younger ones themselves.
Don't feel guilty: they needed telling and their boy who was actually invited probably had a lovely time on his own for once without his strange parents in the room causing stress.

Gobsmacked, but WELL DONE for standing your ground OP! I wouldn't invite the boy next year though... are they weird about playdates too or just about parties?

Birthday parties are definitely the new weddings on AIBU

Don't invite them again, YANBU.

.

What did they say to you at the end of the party at pick up time ?

Well done. It really isn't your problem if they are being silly! Next year put it on the invitation-DS ONLY. After this year they might get the message you mean it.

Pmsl that is so funny, I know not for you but the thought of them insisting on sitting in the car. Bet they thought you'd come and get them in 5 mins

OMG how peculiar! "Unfair on the twins"??

I would be so tempted to write to these parents and tell them how bizarre and rude their behaviour is, and how it is going to impact on their children (and is already impacting on their older ds, as he isn't getting invited to parties).

If they are thick-skinned enough to push the issue to this bizarre extent, then no letter is going to make them re-think. Sadly.

Oh god, it must have been hell in that car for the children.

What is wrong with those parents?

... and next time, make sure there's a car already parked in your drive so you don't have to look at their weird faces pressing up against the car windows.

You could always drop them a line as suggested and say something like, "Do they realise that their behaviour makes others feel awkward and this could result in their son being excluded from invitations through no fault of his own, but theirs?"

How strange. :(

I'm surprised that people get away with freeloading at soft play parties. Ours has a list of invited children and if you're not on the list you pay!

Sadly I don't think I would invite the child in question again. Grossly unfair on the child I know

I'm sure you are right, EldritchCleavage - which is sad for their children.

Do they have a party for their son, OP? If so, I would be tempted to turn up mob-handed, with as many children as you can muster, and insist on being fed and entertained.