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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To really pity some peoples future DIL's if they feel they have the final authority

22 replies

BumWiper · 18/07/2011 13:51

on infant feeding.Just reading the BF'ing thread and I couldn't help but feel sorry for future DIL's who,if they choose to FF,will be seen as uncaring and non maternal.
There will be thread upon thread about the MIL from hell.

Poor girls don't stand a chance.Or maybe it will be a factor in the marriage.Do you promise to love and breastfeed all the days of your life.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 18/07/2011 13:54

True, but it's not just their DILs...it'll be their DDs too and DSs who have to suffer the self righteous crap.

HowlingBitch · 18/07/2011 14:12

My MiL BF and was lovely about my choice to FF. I actually read some of the posts from these women and feel abit :(. Imagine being so insecure about yourself as a mother you feel the need to put other women down just to make yourself feel superior.

Awful, I too pity the future DD/DiLs of these women. Good luck to them!

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 18/07/2011 14:15

Which BF'ing thread?

begonyabampot · 18/07/2011 14:16

I thought FF was probably more common and popular back in the day of the MIL/Mothers (my mum said it was fashionable/quite expected to FF in the 60's and 70's).- I doubt they'd care that much TBH.

Pootles2010 · 18/07/2011 14:17

You mean the SiL one?

You're right, but afraid it works both ways. Have taken my fair share of the annoying crap about starving my baby and 'ah lets just give him a bottle' behind my back crap.

The saying about a mothers place being in the wrong certainly rings true.

usualsuspect · 18/07/2011 14:17

I don't think the bf threads on here reflect rl though

I've never come across such judgemental people in RL

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/07/2011 14:18

YABU.... Future DILs etc will have been well-schooled in the MN ways with MILs which is to 'Ignore the toxic old bat!!! You're that baby's mother not her!!! You parent the way you bloody want!!!' etc.

ArmchairFeminist · 18/07/2011 14:19

My MIL FF and was absolutely vile to me when I breastfed my children.

BluddyMoFo · 18/07/2011 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thestringpeople · 18/07/2011 14:22

Well I really don't have an opinion on whether my future dil's choose to bf or ff as it is the mothers choice. I will probably be scared to open my mouth to offer support in case it is construed as being pro ff or pro bf when she really wanted to do the opposite!

begonyabampot · 18/07/2011 14:23

I now a lady whose 18/19yr old daughter was pregnant and when asked if the daughter was considering BF said, 'why on earth would she want to do that!'.

And then many MIL's are actually supportive and lovely - why does it have to be assumed that they are all awful?

Pinkglow · 18/07/2011 14:24

My mum breastfed all four of her kids and went very much along the route of AP although it didnt have a name back then.

I followed GF and while I BF for the first few weeks I did then go onto FF. The only thing my mum disagreed with me were the use of dummies but everything else she was really supportive and we are able to discuss the differences without having strong words.

Maybe she was never self-righteous about her BB in the first place or maybe she has just reached an age where she sees that in the long run it doesnt really matter? Who knows

brownleatherbrogues · 18/07/2011 14:24

i wouldnt give a monkeys about how my future DIL decided to feed their child

i wouldnt have expected my MIL or my mother to have had an opinion either

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/07/2011 14:25

To be honest, I wonder how nice the BM tastes, or even how good it even is, with all the bile thrown in... Ugh.

You can't 'dine out' for the rest of your life just because you breastfed for 'X' months. Sooner or later you have to let your children eat solids and they go on for far longer.

usualsuspect · 18/07/2011 14:26

I can barely remember how I fed mine

Pootles2010 · 18/07/2011 14:32

Sorry Lying I don't understand your post at all. Is it in response to the sil thread?

Salmotrutta · 18/07/2011 14:33

It never helps when people crusade in an "I'm right, You're wrong" confrontational way. Live and let live.

zukiecat · 18/07/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/07/2011 14:35

Pootles, oh no it's on the wrong thread, sorry, it was for the SIL thread.

zukiecat · 18/07/2011 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 18/07/2011 15:11

My mum kept her nose out. His mum didn't figure in our lives at all as she's a toxic baggage who lives in her own fantasy world. Sorted.

When my kids leave home I'm getting a bedsit and a bicycle and if grandchildren arrive I shall coo, cuddle and mind by business.

lazarusb · 18/07/2011 16:50

I BF dcs 2 & 3 and my MIL hated it. She had FF dh & sil in the 70s and felt I was criticising her decision to do that. She also felt there was a sexual element to it and that I should save my breasts for DH. Luckily, I was pretty resilient of her opinions by then and stuck to my guns Grin

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