To be fed up of over indulged kids.

[Bellethebelltent]

Live in a small village with lots of family, including my cousins children etc and friends kids.

I work 12 hr shifts and dh has kids at least 3 days a week by himself, always over one day at weekend too. Every time he plans a low key day, Lego, picnic walk etc the phone rings, someone pops in etc trying to arrange something for the kids to do. Playbarns etc etc, often it's the kids themselves that ring and then our dc get upset as dad says no or he feels pressure to go along with it.

Is it unreasonable to say that we will pencil in days, maybe once or twice a week with people but please don't hasstle us the rest of the time?

I like to do free things, geocaching, walks, bike rides and so on but it seems that the other kids need to be entertained 24/7. Dh is going to blow a fuse if the phone keeps ringing and so I'd rather politely stop it if poss.

At times living in a field in a yurt seems so appealing, some peace and quiet for dc to play and be alone!

I'm not saying mine aren't overindulged, they all are. Not Answering the phone is hard, dd is nearly 11. And as I said they all live within 3 miles and many IN the village, they walk here, escape to here, climb over the fence etc one lot can even yell from their trampoline across the street to ours, some times when they're not even up yet!

Just having a vent I suppose...family hey. But it does need to change, some of the kids HAVE to be doing something, playing with others everyday. I want mine to be settled and less noisy. They ALL shout as there are so many of them to be heard over.

Birthday parties happen almost fortnightly too. Surely I'm not alone, being one of seven does not help, they are still breeding! My daughter was born in this house so I feel tied stupidly.

Wish we had a big family like that !

I don't see the problem. Your DH sometimes says yes and sometimes he says no. Your kids would obviously prefer to see their friends than do your 'worthy' activities so it only seems fair that some weekends they get to see their friends and some weekends they do what you want to do.
Kids don't like it when they are told no - that's life unfortunately.
YABU to expect people to be mindreaders and not invite you anywhere.

YANBU to want time to breathe and have a break from other people.
(As has been said), from what you say, it does seem a but U to describe these children as over-indulged.
Could you insist that they call to make proper arrangements before showing up, say you'll have to get back to them in your own time, and put the phone on silent when you need some peace and quiet?

YANBU - sometimes it can be harder to say no to family.

Would love a family like that! My in laws are in Australia, and my parents aren't really involved. No cousins or anything for DD. At least you have the choice to say no!! I'd be jumping at the bit for playmates for my daughter!

We lived in nz for a year when dc were smaller, and all missed family so much then. Maybe a sabbatical every few years would be the answer? I no longer use the village school, for other reasons, but that may help to loosen the close knitness over time.

Thanks for replies,should feel lucky really I suppose!

Can you have one day as a 'family day', like Sunday. We do activities/parties/go out/have children over every day except Sunday, when I wear pyjamas and slob out, it's so nice to really spend time with the children pottering around.

On the other hand, if they are 10, then perhaps they are wanting to go out a lot, perhaps they may be getting to the age that they can go out without you, so although you are not altogether, your DH is not constantly running about.

But extended family IS great really, mine have no similar age relations and I feel quite envious.