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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with lady on the till at Waitrose

103 replies

stonetheroses · 16/07/2011 22:36

My DH is away and have no family nearby so if I need to go to the supermarket DS1 (4.5) and DD2 (20 months) have to come with me. Today it was a little stressful, being a Saturday it was pretty bust and DD was out of the trolly wandering around. She can now undo the strap on the trolly seat so it is a nightmare as if I turn my back for one min she is up standing on the seat which is dangerous.

Anyway, at the till DS1 is constantly talking to me so I am trying to talk to him, keep an eye on DD2 (a couple of times I had to dash after her) whilst unloading/packing as quickly as I could. The girl on the checkout was not great, I had to ask for paper to wrap two glass vases I had brought and alert to her I was ready to pay.

I turned away to check DD2 was behaving and quickly glanced back as my card was in the chip and pin and caught the girl rolling her eyes and making a face to the girl on the next till. She knew I caught her and quickly gave me a big false smile. I looked at her in a way that let her know I had seen, took my receipt and walk off without smiling or saying goodbye.

AIBU for feeling equally cross/humiliated?

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 17/07/2011 08:53

I think it is stressful trying to shop when you also have to keep an eye on two small children. It would have been nice if the person on the checkout actually helped you, rather than rolling her eyes and letting you get on with it.

I too, don't understand why people have such little tolerance of children behaving like children. OP, you have every right to go shopping with your DC whenever you like and don't have to confine yourself to online shopping unless that's what you want to do. Yes, it's easier, but sometimes you do need to go to an actual shop.

I think you will find it easier though if you stop letting your 20 month old make the rules. You shouldn't tolerate her undoing the belt of the seat and standing on it - she needs to learn that no means no, or she will only get more difficult to look after as she gets older.

PaperBank · 17/07/2011 08:55

You could report it. It's probably on CCTV...

exoticfruits · 17/07/2011 08:55

This is a teenager-do you really expect her to have any understanding of shopping on a Saturday with 2 young DCs?

sootytotherescue · 17/07/2011 08:56

Go to Asda, most of the checkout staff are a bit older and probably have their own dc. They talk and entertain my dc and help pack my bags. Its normally the other customers queuing who cause the stress, you can't go fast enough for some people.

Goblinchild · 17/07/2011 08:57

You try and help a woman with small children who isn't coping.
Usually they see it as judging, interfering, or panic about your motives.
'Shall I pack for you?'
'NO. I CAN MANAGE THANKSSSS'

Do Waitrose not help you pack then?

bamboostalks · 17/07/2011 08:57

Next time, just say to her, "What the fuck are you rolling your eyes at?"
That will make you feel better.

Goblinchild · 17/07/2011 08:58

Reported for rolling your eyes at another employee?
Because of a woman creating performance art out of going shopping?

baguettecut · 17/07/2011 09:00

Huge overreaction to put it in Twitter, I think, anyway.

It pissed you off at the time, then SAY something at the time, you're an adult, speak up or forget about it.

DoMeDon · 17/07/2011 09:01

Re- the teenager earning minimum wage boo hoo rubbish. She is being paid to do a customer service job and shouldn't be rolling her eyes about people. This happens everywhere now - all ages. Nowt to do with her teen age. People should do their job to the best of their ability. Am sick of having to wait at counter while shop assistants finish thier banter about weekend or this week's rota. Customer service is a dying art!

Goblinchild · 17/07/2011 09:05

The checkout assistant shouldn't have done it, but telling her at the time would have been the most effective way.
What would you have done if it had been the customer behind you instead?

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 17/07/2011 09:06

Yes, she should have been more helpful. I do think it's a massive overreaction to a girl rolling her eyes when she thought she wasn't being watched. She hardly deserves to be sacked or an internet hate campaign. Maybe a quiet word with her manager?

fedupofnamechanging · 17/07/2011 09:17

Just to add that I don't agree with complaining to peoples managers as a first step. I think it is better to speak directly to the person who has offended you and try to sort it out with them.

I would ignore this though, she caught you looking and was embarrassed, so will be more careful next time. And the time will come when she is shopping with kids and will understand why it can be difficult.

SeniorWrangler · 17/07/2011 09:23

I did not say anything about a Twitter campaign to get someone sacked. Don't be ridiculous. However it is worth mentioning to management that there is a less than tolerant attitude in their store on Saturdays towards families, on the other hand, as JL is supposed to pride itself on excellent customer service and charges people handsomely for the privilege.

FWIW it sounds like she was in a Waitrose Food and Home if she was buying vases, which would seem to be a purchase not readily done online. These are stores that sell vast quantities of baby and child kit, so you would expect to see families in there, and consequently their staff need to be trained properly to understand the various situations that arise, and that rolling eyes on duty is not appropriate.

Incidentally I find it absolutely incredible that the OP is getting lectures on controlling her child from people who haven't met either of them. You can guarantee that someone on MN will dig the knife in to make another woman feel crap, can't you?

SeniorWrangler · 17/07/2011 09:25

Moreover, if I was the store's manager I would really want to know about this because there is the potential for poor staff/customer relations to affect profitability and in the end that could start costing people their jobs. So I would really want to be on top of this for that reason, if nothing else.

PuzzleRocks · 17/07/2011 09:31

I love the idea that Waitrose staff should know better.
My children are always beautifully behaved in there (yes, yes, polishes halo, accepts medal, yadda yadda) and on no less than three occasions the checkout person has used this as a chance to have a good grumble about other peoples children. Not hugely professional but I can only imagine how tiresome dealing with the public can be. Cut her some slack.

usualsuspect · 17/07/2011 09:32

Overreaction much by some on here

I think I'd be rolling my eyes at some of you as well

OP ...forget about it ,its not important

Goblinchild · 17/07/2011 09:34

www.historiann.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/smileyface.jpg

Masks, it's the future.

Goblinchild · 17/07/2011 09:36

I think I prefer jack.
www.entertainmentearth.com/images/AUTOIMAGES/NC32462Slg.jpg

AmberLeaf · 17/07/2011 09:37

Get a grip.

YABU for not doing it online and for buying glass vases on a saturday and while with your children.

SeniorWrangler · 17/07/2011 09:37

I think you have to see it in the context of some parents encountering lots of judgie stuff, and the accumulated burden making them a bit oversensitive. It is not a supermarket's place to add to people's angst, not if it wants to make money in the long term.

leeloo1 · 17/07/2011 09:45

I'd have felt judged too and it would have made me feel a bit crappy (especially if I was stressed anyway!) - in the same way that when I'm struggling with something and get a sympathetic look/comment it cheers me up. Isn't that human nature? Surely no-one likes to feel judged/criticised?

If you still have your receipt then I believe they can tell from that who served you (time and till point marked in the codes?). Next time you go to the store I'd go to customer services and say 'I don't want to make a big deal out of this, but I was here on Saturday and was stressed dealing with my 2 children and it didn't help that the checkout assistant rolled her eyes about me when she thought I wasn't looking.' You'll get an apology and can move on from it.

I'd actually probably never get round to it, but planning what I'd do/say would make me feel better! :)

exoticfruits · 17/07/2011 10:07

Would it make you feel better if you hadn't caught her but she had had a good old moan on the equivalent of MN-and you never knew?
One of the funniest threads on here was by supermarket checkout staff and their stories about customers-I don't recall anyone saying they should be reported!
She was a teenage girl who thought she wouldn't be seen. Just forget it.

melika · 17/07/2011 10:15

For Waitrose that is unusual, the staff are bit OTT sometimes asking if you have had a nice day ect. The cashier obviously hasn't been brainwashed yet.

At the end of the day, she never opened her gob and said anything nasty to you did she? I think YAB abit U.

Animation · 17/07/2011 10:23

"Just to add that I don't agree with complaining to peoples managers as a first step. I think it is better to speak directly to the person who has offended you and try to sort it out with them."

Would be a bit weedy going to the manager over that.

More empowering to look her in the eye and say - "have you got something in your eye?" Wink

AgentZigzag · 17/07/2011 10:51

Just to recap the advice from some posters then...

Anyone with small children should not be so selfish as to be out shopping at any time on Saturday.

If you do choose to selfishly eat at the weekend, not only will the checkout staff be wholey justified in eye rolling at you taking more than your allotted seconds to pay, but everyone else will be impatiently foot tapping because they have more right to be there than you.

You should instead keep confined within your home and shop online where a delivery can be arranged for you in your isolation.

But most important of all, and never to be forgotten, DO NOT buy glass vases in a shop when it's busy.

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