To tell my four year old that being her friend isn't the most important thing?

[ButteryPie]

We've had this conversation SO MUCH over the last couple of months.

DD1: "Can I do/have ?"
Me: "No, because

Well done you, OP! Now my DSs are grown up I can see that tactic worked pretty well as we can be friends (most of the time) as well as son/mother.

Although I still have to pull rank occasionally!

Or is this just a total fantasy and my adult DSs are manipulating me......

But what is "mc wankiness"? I'm about to go on hoiliday, and I need to know before I go!

OP and other Parent parents, YANBU! In fact, because you have said it, I am your friend!

HOw about this - to my small DS who didn't want to go home from the childminder after I'd had a sh*y day at work. 'I don't believe in smacking children, but don't you think for one minute that that's going to stop me.'

MC = Middle Class.

Thank you for the definition! Now I can go on hols to be middle of nowhere with a new urban code-word!

My 5yr dd threatens me with the "I'm not your friend" line, which is usually followed by "yeah, well I love you more" from me. Which usually works. Because generally she is adamant she loves me more, and will stop most strops to argue her point on that. Lol.

allhailtheaubergine Fri 15-Jul-11 16:39:23
"I don't bother with the wanky explanations, but when my two scream that I am not their friend I just say "no, of course not. I'm your Mummy." She once tried to tell me that I wasn't her mummy any more and I was delighted to inform her that "ha, I will ALWAYS be your mummy and there's nothing you can do about it" "

I tried that line on dd when she was 2. And she replied:

'Not when I'm grown up.'

'Oh yes', I assured her, 'I will still be your Mummy. You may go and live in a different house and you may have a family of your own, but I will still be your Mummy and I will still love you.'

'No' 'you will be dead then.'

(don't you bank on it, my daughter)

cory I've had a very similar conversation with my dd too.

well I hope we will both be in a position to disappoint them, alew

I've said almost word-for-word the same thing to my DD who is also 4. She says we're not friends, I say no we're not, we're mummy and daughter. X, Y and Z are her friends and she has fun with them. Daddy and I are her parents, and our job is to make her safe and healthy. Sometimes that means we're not fun but we are looking after her. And however cross she gets with us, we will never, ever stop loving her and keeping her safe.

It was indeed the wankiness that made your friend stare, but I don't blame you. I think a touch of middle class wankiness is infinitely preferable to the "shurrrrruuppp Tyleerrrrrrr" school of parenting.

And DS is 4 and tells me he is "not your best friend anymore" with a very teenagerish stomp and "arrggghhh" at least three times a day. "Oh well" I reply.